gonzo51511

Any advice on career decisions. I am going to be getting my pay very reduced at my job due to a pending dui.. im a truck driver or was..i still can work for the same company ive been at for 12 yrs but im not gonna be to happy. The work will become much more physical with much less pay. I feel like i wanna do a complete redue at life and start all over career wise but that will require schooling in something. My sponsor also says to make no major decisions in first year of recovery. I am at 2 months sober.

ScottFromWI

I think you are getting ahead of yourself once again gonzo, just like you did with the relationship thing. Will you not like your job? Maybe. Can you afford to live with the lower salary for a while? If so, concentrate on yourself and the reason you've found yourself in this position in the first place. It's entirely possible that if you get some sober time under your belt that there will be an opportunity right where you are now.

Looking for another job certainly isn't the worst thing in the world, but consider your motivations for doing it.

doggonecarl

Do you even know what you want to do? Exploring your options would be a good first step.

In the mean time, work on your recovery, stay at your job, and once you decide what you would like to do perhaps take a class that will lead toward to career change. I don't think any of those fall under "major change."

gonzo51511

Thanks scott.. i am very well aware of what got me in the situation i am in. But i am brand new to this site and losing a high paying job and the women i love very much are two major things going on in my life on top of not drinking.. so im a bit of a mess.. just wondering if anyone else has had their entire world destroyed and everything they had worked for taken away and if so.. what they did to get back to a somewhat normal happy life

sleepie

That is a lot of change early in sobriety, can you talk to your sponsor about it and do you have any family that might be supportive?

Coldfusion

It sounds to me as if you are on the right track. I think all of us recovering alcoholics are more or less in the same situation and we all muddle through somehow. Keep going to meetings and working with your sponsor. Read around this site and post often--it works if you work it!

gonzo51511

Yes.. i have a supportive family.. its just difficult to start from the bottom again workwise.. im sure i have no idea what im talking about but maybe major change is what i need.. otherwise why was i drinking to such excess if my life was happy before??

zjw

I think you nailed it!!

I was really miserable with my job before I sobered up. Long story short like you I realize a new carreer is what I need. I just have not figured it out yet 4 years later. I got big bills to pay and cant just jump ship. Sooner or later they might just dump me anyhow then I guess i'll have to sink or swim.

I drank becuase my life was miserable. I probably made a lot of poor drunken choices to not exactly help matters.

Now since sobering up I've made a lot of choices to improve life this all has taken time.

But in my case i'm in the same job i was miserable with then and i'm still very miserable with it now. So sitting around doing nothing about it didnt solve my problem. I try to just be content with it in my case and make due till soemthing else comes along IE i find something or it comes along lol.

I think if you can find a better carreer choice its not a terrible idea. But for me? i'd be weary of more education and student loans or something. Hence why I'm still in the boat i'm in.

Theres a couple business's i could run or get into but I'd have to take out substantial loans to get one. Sure it could be profitable but with the loans hanging over my head i'd get an ulcer! or want to drink! so i'm like nope I'll just keep sitting tight *sigh*

sometimes if your not sure what to do its best to just sit tight till the answer comes.

Other times if you have half an idea what you wanna do its good to work towards that direction. IE i wanna own a farm one day but I cant afford one yet. So what do i do? read and read and read about it and I grow a large garden and raise a few animals just to get my feet wet to be sure its something I want to get into. I mingle with the other local farmers and try to get to know them etc.. I'm working in that direction tho I'm not making any huge earth shattering choices yet.

ScottFromWI

Yes, a lot of people here have had significant losses due to drinking - lost families, jobs, homes, bank accounts, some have even lost their lives.

What they did to get back on track was to focus on their sobriety. There is no magic fix to all the problems that drinking caused other than not drinking and living a sober life. It will take time - probably a lot longer than 2 months.

Gratitude can help. Remember you are still fortunate to have A job...many lose that along the was too. You have a supportive family. You also still have the opportunity to seek another job some day, and you could certainly start that search now if your current situation is not workable.

BlueFairy

Yeah-- I'm in the same boat, only 2 months more sober than you. Everyone's different and I'm sure everyone's recovery time varies but I can tell you at 4 months I'm still pretty beaten down. It makes me so Angry that alcohol is so accepted in our society and I know now how extremely bad for me it was. Long story short-- I had no idea there was 'recovery' time--only figured that out when the hammer came down on my head. It's not fair that nature is taking a toll on us right now when we are doing such a majorly good thing for ourselves but we just have to deal. I know people do leave jobs and find better ones when things happen to us like it happened to you and I, but we are in recovery, which will pay off long term but for now it makes it very difficult to get out there and beat feet. I would suggest you do as I plan-- sit back and deal with the situation, until you feel you are more capable of dealing with more things. The fact that is will be a bigger workload physically is concerning but looking for and learning a new job will be very taxing mentally--and probably lead to a relapse more certainly than physical exhaustion.
Hey-- the cool thing is we know we're better than this now and are thinking in a new direction. I know it will get better for us if we stay strong. I've done so much reading on this there's just too much out there supporting the theory that life gets better when you stop drinking. There's too much evidence of how bad it is especially for the alcoholic--we're lucky to be alive, have jobs, have anyone who supports us left. I'll take the humility with the knowledge that I'm doing whats best for me right now.

elsker

Me. I am in the process of divorce and living with my best friend. I have to find a new career and went to my local technical college. They have career building workshops, etc. If you have something like that in your area, please avail yourself of their services, which are free. I have taken a couple of aptitude/interests tests that could well translate into careers.

I have been separated from my spouse for three months, but trust me...it does get better. The thing is, take your time and really think about what you might like to do.

Good luck...

gonzo51511

thanks guys for your comments.. and not trying to be a negative nelly but I read a lot of aa stuff and attend a lot of meetings as well. to me its like of course things will get better, suppose you are living in a cardboard box and then get an apartment in recovery.. things are better. but what about those of us who were functional alkies and had a very low bottom and lost it all. how is going from a 3 bedroom; house drinking to a 1 bedroom apartment in recovery better?

elsker

Because it's temporary. You will prevail if you follow the program and take care of yourself.

And trust me...for the first month of my separation, I felt like I was losing my mind and I was so discouraged and depressed...but now, I'm seeing how I made so many concessions in the relationship and I am beginning to enjoy myself just a little bit. I have a good sponsor and I'm definitely getting better. If you just stick with this, Gonzo, the same will happen for you.

BlueFairy

Yes, I am seeing signs of things becoming better--my personal stress levels are down due to learning yoga and reading a great book on anxiety, I know it's stupid but my relationships with my cats are improving (lol) there was some neglect there, I've accomplished some stuff around the house that badly needed done. I have a long way to go-- I'm just saying there have been some improvements so far even though it's been hard. Your downsizing is not because you quit drinking--it's because life happens. It would be worse for you if you were still drinking plus the added expense of alcohol. 2 months sucks --I saw Nothing good at that point except I lost weight. I had crazy anxiety, stomach problems, was exhausted and mentally a wreck but this is what alcohol did to us-- you have to see that.

2muchpain

IMO, taking on a major change in early recovery can be very risky. Making a major change usually includes increased stress. Stress is a major factor why some people go back to drinking, so I'd be very careful about doing this.
Sounds like you're doing a good job building a new foundation for a better life. I think the idea mentioned above about taking a class or two is a real good idea. It would help you to feel you are not stuck and are working towards a better future. Small steps. John

sleepie

I hate to be cliche Gonzo but it didn't happen overnight right?
So it may take awhile to get back on track and the alcohol is the biggest obstacle at the moment so as long as you see to that, things should go better.
Although there are no guarantees. I guess all we really have is that hopefully life without alcohol leads to a better place than with, if we had continued on our drunken track.
I hope so anyway.

Ken33xx

Well, I assume if it wasn`t for your drinking you wouldn`t be in a 1 bedroom.

And if you keep on drinking you may well slide down to a living in a flophouse which is where ended up when I got sober.

I`ve been chatting on and off with a fellow in AA whose crash landing is similar to yours.

He goes on about how his wife left and the job he got fired from. I try explaining if he`s not going to get sober it really doesn't matter. None of it`s likely to come back.

To your credit you`ve got a bit of sobriety under your belt.

Keep up the good work!!

gonzo51511

Thank ken. And yes it did not happen overnight but kind of.. my relationship with my gf had been going south for a while due to my increase in drinking.. (progessive disease) but career wise it kind of did happen over night. I was a truck driver and have a pending dui. Got pulled over in the morning after a night of heavy drinking. I still have a job and a place to live but if the dui sticks i will be taking a severe hit financially cuz i wont be able to drive and my cdl probably gone for who knows how long. So i will need to figure out a new career path. I know im early in sobriety but working hard ie AA and with my sponsor.. drinking cost me everything and have no intentions of going back to it.. just really hoping i can back on the right track in sobriety

zjw

I really have no doubt in my mnd that once one quits drinking there life changes for the better. It may take time it may not be on there terms but it will get better. I had to learn early on in sobriety i couldnt have it my way it aint burger king. I had to learn to live life on lifes terms as they say. Roll with the punches go with the flow and be ok with things not always going exactly how I saw fit. That is not to say that life is going bad when its not going exactly how i want it. to the contrary it could also be going far better too. Just gotta roll with it./

gonzo51511

Yes.. i am seeing that.. as long as i focus on the present and not the past or the future i certainly feel better.. it sucks that alcoholism has to take every good thing from your life but have to trust that god has a plan..even if i dont agree right now whatever happens will happen . I have no control so no use in fighting and making myself nuts!!