gonzo51511

And saying the serenity prayer a couple thousand times a day helps as well.

gaffo

I say this over and over but not having a hangover every freaking day is so much more helpful than you might think. It allows you to make positive decisions and move forward with your life without the nameless dread and guilt of being a drunk, slowly flushing your life down the toilet. That is something that I can appreciate every day.

As you get more sober time you will find your mind getting better and gaining the perspective to appreciate the important things. I would rather live in a box sober than a three bedroom house as an active alcoholic. Life is so short.

gonzo51511

Yes.. im slowly learning that. I had to lose all that was important to me unfortunately. . The hardest part is my relationship with the absolute love of my life.. she says she wants to be friends and wants me to recover.. i know i have to put 100 percent of my mind on my recovery and i am.. if i lost her forever that would be devastating. . We were close to getting married but she begin to see "red flags" as my drinking worsened. But i really blew things my first couple weeks sober.. i wass an emotional insecure mess and said things i certainly did not mean.. alcoholism is such a terrible illness. Especially how you treat the people you love the most.. hopefully one day she can forgive me and we can try again. Its in gods hands now.

Elizabeth333

Hi gonzo - I sure understand what you are saying! Actually thinking and being in the present is so working for me now.

Muunray

Yeah..among other things, I let my career slide being complacent while I drank. Now my skill set is outdated, I'm 50 and for a month haven't gotten a job. Oh yes, I shouldn't say totally unable to find a job, but 1 home case required 3 hours driving one way, which I am not going to do. Another home case I felt very unsafe with- both with the staff and the family involved, so I refused the case after an 8 hour shift training there.
My practically life long drinking killed expanding my career and just narrowed my opportunities down to the point I am now looking for any job. Going from doing RN work to applying at Walgreens.. yep that's me.

elsker

I have discovered that, too! Most of the stuff I was worrying about I had zero control over. It helps to say that prayer.

zjw

this will be me one day. not all my fault. its just the luck of the draw really. I pray when my number comes up the right doors will open up for me. I hope the same works out for your soon!

Sometimes tho what we think is terrible is the best thing for us at the time its just hard to see it sometimes.

gonzo51511

When one door closes another opens.. what we dont know is how long the hallway is

Muunray

I am so excited- maybe this is the new door. Got a call for a new client- better pay even than before -I'll find out next week if I want to accept the case when I meet them at the hospital. I expressed my concerns to my manager, even to the point I was considering quitting nursing because I felt so insecure. My manager was so complimentary of what I have done so far for their patients/staff, he said all my supervisors recommended me for this job and will do whatever they can to accommodate me and fine tune any skills I have concerns over. UGH where is my confidence?!

gonzo51511

Awesome news muunray!!!

gonzo51511

Good fear and ego is kicking in overdrive today.. freaking i wont be able to find a decent career because of my criminal record.. i was a truck driver but more than likely gonna lose my liscense and dont think cdl will come back to me ever (priors) i only have high school diploma. Thinking about some college courses but would hate to invest all that time and $ and not get past the background check.. any advice?

ScottFromWI

My advice would be to stop freaking out first ;-) Take a step back and realisticly look at the situation. First off, you already have a job and while it's not perfect it's a job. Second, you don't know for a fact that you will lose your license, and even if you you don't know that you won't be able to get it reinstated. Third, it's not as if driving truck is the only thing you'll ever be able to do in your life. People re-invent themselves all the time at just about any age. People get laid off late in their careers, companies close, budgets are cut..it happens all the time.

If you have the ability and time to take some classes why not? Even if you don't get a different job you'll learn new skills.

gonzo51511

Yes scott and thank you for comment.. thing is winter time gets very slow.. things will be ok in the present and i know i shouldnt be looking past that.. thing is i dont have a sparkling past if u know what i mean.. all drug and alcohol related, most over 10 yrs except for this lastest thing.. just wonder if it should affect what classes i take.. (my record)

ScottFromWI

Everyone has problems in their past. The thing is you aren't going to find a job in the past, nor a solution to your current problems. That will only happen if you focus on now and the things you CAN change.

Maybe you don't need to change anything....perhaps when things settle down you can move back up to your old job. Regarding taking classes, what exactly do you think you'd like to do? If you have a local technical college or community college why not call them and ask to speak with and advisor? It's free and they could assess your skills and strengths and guide you towards courses that might help.

Or you could simply start applying for other jobs. There are loads of ways to work on your resume online for free and most jobs are free to apply for. Don't put yourself in a box and think you can only do one thing - apply for jobs you don't even have all the qualifications for if it sounds interesting. Most employers are hiring good PEOPLE, not good resumes. And many are willing to pay for training to teach you the job if you are a good person overall.

Bottom line, sitting around worrying about what already happened isn't going to get you anywhere, right?

gonzo51511

Right on scott!! JUst the strength i needed to hear but couldnt muster myself.. college advisor.. excellent idea...thx man!!

youbetcha

When I first got sober and started coming back to life, I realized how miserable I was in my job, and I didn't have a clue who I was or what I wanted to do. I had 2 young kids and was terrified how I'd replace my income, so I stayed at that job a couple more years and took some night classes to finish a degree I'd started years before. I just wanted that diploma. I prayed alot too, for God to show me "the plan" for my life. It all worked out pretty good. I just did what felt like the next right thing, and I had a lot of good advice too.

gonzo51511

what classes did u take youbetcha, what field did u go into?

davaidavai

I'm working on nursing pre-reqs, am a guy, once volunteered a shift in an ER and liked it.

I've heard tell being an IT Network guy or windows help desk guy is very attainable as entry level IT work

I read about a commercial pilot who got a DUI, took him a while, but he flew again.

Seems the people I admire the most are doing stuff with old friends.

If I was mechanically inclined I'd try to work on ship engines, like to be out on the water.

Trade, transportation and logistics is an important field, might have some crossover.

gonzo51511

Thanx davai.. t i thought about nursing as well and im a guy but thing is a got a drug convicton felony from 10 yrs ago.. dont know if id be allowed around drugs or patients... this it network you speak of? Is that like setting up computers or programming them? Any ideas? Is it tech school training?