sleepie

I read the "Identifying Triggers" piece on the front page here... it was good. Many of those articles are good, I think that's a newer feature here? I have to find it again.
I ended up drinking again. My only relief is that I drank a very weak beer. Unacceptable but I'll take what I can at this point. I am so close to being all benzo and alcohol free- I do better but then fall off the wagon big time and stress and emotional things are some great big triggers! And you all know how super sensitive one can get when trying to quit.
So, after you identify the triggers- what next? What do you all do? In the immediate?
I get so upset- I have all this ocd related anxiety stuff- I have cleaning fits, I pull my hair out (trichotillomania), I obsess over physocal imperfections to the point I am ashamed to g outside... I just get beside myself with frustration and anxiety and i just don't know what to do.

What do you al do when you are in the face of a trigger?

SDH73

IMO a "trigger" is simply an excuse we give ourselves to drink. My biggest "trigger" is time off from work. I'm not trying to be flippant here, but the way I fight it when those days off come is to NOT DRINK. Part of me wants to. Some days I think about it. A lot. But I simply don't do it. There are a lot of tools suggested here at SR such as "play the tape", "urge-surfing", etc. For me I just fight through it, and work those "sober muscles" knowing that thoughts are only thoughts and whether or not I act on them is totally under my control. Sooner or later we have to face this thing head on and say "no more". We fight that battle and become stronger for it.

Someone here on SR says (or maybe it's more than one person), "don't drink, even if your a** falls off!'' Good stuff, right there!

readerbaby71

I think it through. How will I feel the next day if I drink? Is it worth it?I think about the shame, anxiety, nausea, and headache. Depression for days. What if I do something stupid that irrevocably changes my life or hurts someone I love? (which can happen even if you're home alone). Will my drinking over this trigger change anything whatsoever? What good things have ever come from me drinking?

The answer is none. I have been sober for a while now but I still have a desire to drink sometimes when I am triggered by anger, sadness, or stress. I try to remember that feelings aren't facts. They are temporary and they fade. Waking up sober and without a hangover usually makes a new day better than the one that came before it.

When you feel triggered, distract yourself. Do something else you like to do. Take a walk. Pet a dog or cat. Go to a movie. Seriously, anything that keeps you from drinking.

Sorry you are having a hard time.

least

Believe it or not, in the last couple weeks I've had urges to drink. Don't know where they come from, but I just remind myself how much I want to be sober and how much drinking would take me down.

CarolD said it, I think, but it's so true it's amazing: you've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. And I want to be sober more than anything, so I ignore those thoughts of drinking. I combat them in my mind. It's been over five years since I drank, but the memory of my last drunk is very vivid. I NEVER want to feel like that again. So I just don't drink, no matter what.

zjw

I guess after i got good at identifying them i had to get good at remembering to identify them as they came. Then I started to kinda get better at avoiding them or bracing myself for them. And got better at telling myself i can push through this.

I know sometimes when im running for example if i hit a hill i'm like UGG SCREW ME I DONT WANNA DO THIS I WANNA LAY DOWN AND DIE. But i'll tell myself something like "even if i dog this at least i can slowly slug my way up this hill and thats better then laying down and dieing or running the other way or trying to blaze up the hill and panicing about it"

I think everyone sobers of differently. Some abruptly quit ::raises hand:: others I think kinda teeter totter back and forth gradualy leaning more nad more towards the sober world. But both cases probably are better off with there progress then they where when they where daily drinkers etc.. so its good progress either way.

sleepie

Ok thanks people, I would love to hear more. I will print this out and keep it on me.

happybeingme

While I never had triggers per se' I did have to learn about who I am and honor those things. I have depression. I always will. I take medication and use CBT for it. Those things don't prevent all of my depression but they lessen the frequency and intensity of my episodes.

I am also extremely introverted. So I have read up on this and work on my weaknesses and respect my limitations.

I allow myself screw it days where I just do nothing. I also plan things as best I can making sure to build in breaks to recharge.

I also remind myself of my favorite quote:
" The reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once" -Einstein

sleepie

I need this SO badly.
I have always, always been this way.
Lately though, for weeks it's been nonstop work and everything, and working on my days off or other obligations, for about 6 weeks or so.

zjw

Learning to embrace the ups and the downs is good and bad. Running sorta teaches me this. If i run a flat surface it might always seem hard or I might get lazy and bore. But if I run a surface with some ups and some downs and some flat spots. I find when I hit the flat spots i feel stronger when I hit the downhill I enjoy the relief and when i hit the uphill I try and embrace it because I know it'll make me stronger for the flats and I'll enjoy the downhill that much more.

You almost need the rythym and tempo in life to keep you going.

zjw

aaaaa yeah learning how to shut off?

I struggle with the whole trying to unwind trying to let go and just let things lie so i can rest.

thats a tough one! we can get wrapped up in our busy busy busy stuff all the time I have to ask myself why tho? what for? why? what does it matter? that helps me calm down and say meh it doesnt matter.

happybeingme

I think another thing is learning to accept things happen. Sometimes we cant plan in advance. For me, sometimes that means I just have to cry. And that's ok.

sleepie

Judgement is a huge, huge trigger for me too. And there was a bit of that yesterday- I was told I was right by my boyfriend too, about this person.
That was a heavy thing growing up, being half minority where I lived was punishable. So it goes deep. I'm not sure how to handle it.

happybeingme

What country do you live in?

Look. While it may have been true in the past it isn't anymore. You don't need to be a prisoner to the past.

sleepie

LOl yes, racism still exists.
I am in the USA.
we rather love our racism here...
My city in particular has a rather ferocious history of riots and segregation, despite being very diverse.

happybeingme

Ok. Now I understand a bit better. But as you said. It is history. You needn't feel as if you are still being punished. Unfortunately some people will always be prejudice. Try not to let the meanness of others dictate how you feel about yourself

Sudz No More

I remember someone here telling once when I was still struggling to get sober that nail biting would never get me anywhere and they were right. When I finally made the decision I had truly had enough it just became easier because I discarded those impulses that would bring on nail biting. All this mental maintenance in the early days goes away if you let it. Just try not to obsess over those triggers in the first few weeks. The key is and will always be time enough away from the habit to get beyond the impulses. You just have to manage to string together enough sober time to get there.

sleepie

How long before the impulses went away for you Sudz?

QuietToday

I'm doing great with sobriety these days, especially now that I've quit smoking too. Specifically with cigarettes I really learned about triggers, and the way I dealt with them I learned from Dee here on SR. I don't think there's much you can do about identifying triggers until you experience it and get past it, but as for how I get past that trigger I've a tactic---

I wish I kept the link, but what Dee linked me to was this very easy to build Plan for sobriety. I didn't follow it much at all, to be honest :P But I took the first and second portion of the plan, the first being daily and positive, and the second being about triggers, and applied what I read.

Basically, I built a new journal, and the first 8 or so pages are inked rather than penciled, and they go over certain things that I need to read each time I open it during my recovery era. Particularly toward triggers, I have one page which has a big list of "Trigger Remedies," which are just things I can do whenever a trigger comes. These are very different from my "Daily Actions" in that during a trigger it's very hard to "accomplish" much, and the goal instead is to push through the trigger.

It worked like this for me. I accepted that whenever I get hit with a trigger that everything except for drinking or smoking a cigarette seems like it sucks. That's just how it goes. The point is, no matter what I try to do once I'm hit with a trigger I know it isn't going to feel rewarding--- but I do know that I absolutely HAVE to do something so to push through the trigger and beat back addiction.

Very simple; once I'm hit with a trigger I find my journal, scroll through that list of things I know I can do when I'm all worked up, and I either choose one immediately or, if I can't choose, I close my eyes, scroll my finger, and go do immediately whatever action I've landed on.

These are all easy actions: Ride bike around the neighborhood, Take a shower, Snack. Again, the point is to keep occupied, regardless of how idle the activity is, until the trigger passes (which it always does, remember!). Then I can get back to more thorough and creative activities.

Again, it sucks to do anything with a trigger. I'm sure most here on SR know this. But you can't not do anything--- that' how you F up and get overrun with AV. You've gotta do something, anything, to push through.

So that's what I do

FLCamper

Today is 4 months for me. I've been surprised by how infrequently I've thought about having a drink because of a "trigger" and every time it has been due to being frustrated about something. (Non triggers are being out at a restaurant or party where others are imbibing - alcohol is present and of course, the thought of having a drink crosses my mind)

To answer your questions, Sleepie, I just think "nope, can't" and don't. Fortunately, there hasn't been an occasion when I've had a real longing for a drink. Hopefully, I can talk myself out of it.

You only had on weak beer? Someone watered it down?
Hang in there, put your thoughts about not drinking into action and you'll string together a long streak for yourself.

Gottalife

One fellow I knew said his major trigger was going to the toilet. That's one trigger that cant be removed lol. It made me think, the idea of a trigger is based in the idea that something external is making me drink. But when I look at all the triggers I find that all the opposites make me drink too. Drinking was caused by me being:

Stressed - relaxed
Too hot - too cold
Sunny day - rainy day
Happy - unhappy
Optimistic - pessimistic
Feeling fine - feeling unwell
Anxious - confident
Someone died - someone survived
Got a job - got fired
I could go on and on. I dont think the cause of my drinking can be found in triggers. It is internal, much more about how I react and how I see the world. That is what had to change. I could never beat the game by elliminating triggers.