Idenitfying triggers
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ok.
A lot of my shame is from being teased so harshly growing up by my family and my school mates and even teachers about my looks.
And having ethnic slurs said to me by my teachers (two of them) and classmates.
It goes deep. When I start having fears of being looked down upon I get so anxious and upset, then ocd behaviors kick in.
I don't know how to make it stop.
When you get hated and tormented daily for years it's hard to undo the damage.
A lot of my shame is from being teased so harshly growing up by my family and my school mates and even teachers about my looks.
And having ethnic slurs said to me by my teachers (two of them) and classmates.
It goes deep. When I start having fears of being looked down upon I get so anxious and upset, then ocd behaviors kick in.
I don't know how to make it stop.
When you get hated and tormented daily for years it's hard to undo the damage.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by sleepie 
Ok.
When you get hated and tormented daily for years it's hard to undo the damage.
When you get hated and tormented daily for years it's hard to undo the damage.
It took me getting into action and finding out causes and conditions- why it effected me. Then changing my attitude and outlook.
However, on the other hand, if I just kept talking about it, not doing anything about it, kept living there, nothing would have changed. I would still be stuck in self pity and the poor me's. Still be turning to the bottle. And them people wouldn't be bothered by it at all.
all I had to do is stop talking about it and get into action- take accountability for my past( find out the why's) and responsibility for my future.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sleepie
When you get hated and tormented daily for years it's hard to undo the damage.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Originally Posted by sleepie
How long before the impulses went away for you Sudz?
As lame as it is to have to say, you just have to stick together enough time away from it. Throw away those trigger thoughts with irreverence and get on with your day. Don't dwell, and don't look back. Get a sober friend to make you feel accountable for your actions each day and just don't give in. Just remember, toss those thoughts aside, don't feed into them.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Essex
Posts: 411
Yes, indeed damage can be hard to undo. But the thing for me came to be, when I drink, as an alcoholic, it is an act of self-sabotage, and self-hatred. A friend of mine, when I picked up a drink after a number of years, suggested to me then, I had actually attempted suicide, it was, she said, that serious, and she was right.
Like other posters have suggested, alcohol is not an option for me today, it is something over which I've lost the power of choice. And what strikes me about your post, is that again, as other posters have suggested, triggers are not really the point. If there were a trigger, it would be the fact that I was alive, didn't have the resources to function in the world, or handle my emotions in any eventuality or circumstance, and just could not face life on its own terms. I was horrified at the thought of alcohol no longer working, and very scared too. Now I've found, that depending on the circumstances, the fear can be there still; however, the difference is that I learned it is possible to live with those emotions, without attempting to manage them with alcohol or drugs. It is possible, and it is far preferable.
Have picked up from your posts that you have had to deal with a great deal of adversity in your life. That means you have courage and resourcefulness, both essential for long-term recovery in my experience. That adversity also has the power to transform your life, really it does. It is the choice between refusing to continue doing the damage that was done to you, only now doing it by your own hand, and using that courage of yours to live the life you deserve.
AA certainly helps with staying sober, but the damage part? That may be something you would choose to seek outside help with. I have found there is no other journey like this one. Really, it is not to be missed, but what it takes for me is the willingness to abide with, wait, keep faith. For me, alcohol took the form of an immediate salve for the current bug that was biting me, and oh, how it always felt like a sigh of relief. But the relief never lasted. What staying sober takes is the willingness to forgo the salve, even if it really, really itches because truly, the long-term gain of not taking that drink is freedom. Not short term relief, but real and lasting freedom. Now, who wouldn't want that?
Wish you well Sleepie, and never stop trying.
Like other posters have suggested, alcohol is not an option for me today, it is something over which I've lost the power of choice. And what strikes me about your post, is that again, as other posters have suggested, triggers are not really the point. If there were a trigger, it would be the fact that I was alive, didn't have the resources to function in the world, or handle my emotions in any eventuality or circumstance, and just could not face life on its own terms. I was horrified at the thought of alcohol no longer working, and very scared too. Now I've found, that depending on the circumstances, the fear can be there still; however, the difference is that I learned it is possible to live with those emotions, without attempting to manage them with alcohol or drugs. It is possible, and it is far preferable.
Have picked up from your posts that you have had to deal with a great deal of adversity in your life. That means you have courage and resourcefulness, both essential for long-term recovery in my experience. That adversity also has the power to transform your life, really it does. It is the choice between refusing to continue doing the damage that was done to you, only now doing it by your own hand, and using that courage of yours to live the life you deserve.
AA certainly helps with staying sober, but the damage part? That may be something you would choose to seek outside help with. I have found there is no other journey like this one. Really, it is not to be missed, but what it takes for me is the willingness to abide with, wait, keep faith. For me, alcohol took the form of an immediate salve for the current bug that was biting me, and oh, how it always felt like a sigh of relief. But the relief never lasted. What staying sober takes is the willingness to forgo the salve, even if it really, really itches because truly, the long-term gain of not taking that drink is freedom. Not short term relief, but real and lasting freedom. Now, who wouldn't want that?
Wish you well Sleepie, and never stop trying.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I had a lifetime of triggers Sleepie.
Everything became a reason for drinking - and I'm not being flippant.
I had to accept that drinking didn't help...it made me into someone I didn't want to be, and eventually it would kill me.
I had to take it off the table as a viable option.
I had to look for other help for my various problems and stresses, some of which were valid, some were not.
I got some counselling help. I also found help here and I posted everytime I felt like drinking - even when posting here seemed like the hardest thing to do ever.
But the biggest help was simply staying sober - the longer I stayed sober and the more I dealt with my life sober the better I felt - truly
Facing that fear of what life might be like sober was the best thing I ever did - it was still hard going for a while, but it was easier than drinking.
D
Everything became a reason for drinking - and I'm not being flippant.
I had to accept that drinking didn't help...it made me into someone I didn't want to be, and eventually it would kill me.
I had to take it off the table as a viable option.
I had to look for other help for my various problems and stresses, some of which were valid, some were not.
I got some counselling help. I also found help here and I posted everytime I felt like drinking - even when posting here seemed like the hardest thing to do ever.
But the biggest help was simply staying sober - the longer I stayed sober and the more I dealt with my life sober the better I felt - truly
Facing that fear of what life might be like sober was the best thing I ever did - it was still hard going for a while, but it was easier than drinking.
D
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Originally Posted by Gottalife
One fellow I knew said his major trigger was going to the toilet. That's one trigger that cant be removed lol. It made me think, the idea of a trigger is based in the idea that something external is making me drink. But when I look at all the triggers I find that all the opposites make me drink too. Drinking was caused by me being:
Stressed - relaxed
Too hot - too cold
Sunny day - rainy day
Happy - unhappy
Optimistic - pessimistic
Feeling fine - feeling unwell
Anxious - confident
Someone died - someone survived
Got a job - got fired
I could go on and on. I dont think the cause of my drinking can be found in triggers. It is internal, much more about how I react and how I see the world. That is what had to change. I could never beat the game by elliminating triggers.
Stressed - relaxed
Too hot - too cold
Sunny day - rainy day
Happy - unhappy
Optimistic - pessimistic
Feeling fine - feeling unwell
Anxious - confident
Someone died - someone survived
Got a job - got fired
I could go on and on. I dont think the cause of my drinking can be found in triggers. It is internal, much more about how I react and how I see the world. That is what had to change. I could never beat the game by elliminating triggers.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Gottalife
One fellow I knew said his major trigger was going to the toilet. That's one trigger that cant be removed lol. It made me think, the idea of a trigger is based in the idea that something external is making me drink. But when I look at all the triggers I find that all the opposites make me drink too.
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
or Thursday
The simple truth was that I had to treat my alcoholism with something. I used to use alcohol to treat my alcoholism. Now I use spiritual principles to treat my alcoholism.
Triggers only exist when I have untreated alcoholism.
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