About to say eff it
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Sounds like trouble to me.
I'm reminded of one of the lines in the AA book that reads:
People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin every*thing.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield
himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
To me, the best part of those couple paragraphs is the insistence that my sobriety is not contingent upon the actions of others nor my ability to hide from booze. Darn good thing because if it were, sooner or later someone will not live their live in accordance with the way I want them to - thankfully I can stay sober and happy regardless of what "they" do. Also, I didn't get sober to then spend the rest of my life running and hiding from alcohol. What, leave one live of fear for another life of fear........afraid that if I'm around alcohol I'll have no option but to get drunk?
The flip side is, of course, that my sobriety hinges on my ability to live a life of recovery. If I do that, alcohol and the "drink problem" no longer exist. I'm an alcoholic, not a problem drinker. Drinking wasn't the problem, alcoholism is the problem for a guy like me. Treat the alcoholism and alcohol become irrelevant....... doesn't matter if it's around, not around, I'm surrounded by it or not.
I'm reminded of one of the lines in the AA book that reads:
People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin every*thing.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield
himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
To me, the best part of those couple paragraphs is the insistence that my sobriety is not contingent upon the actions of others nor my ability to hide from booze. Darn good thing because if it were, sooner or later someone will not live their live in accordance with the way I want them to - thankfully I can stay sober and happy regardless of what "they" do. Also, I didn't get sober to then spend the rest of my life running and hiding from alcohol. What, leave one live of fear for another life of fear........afraid that if I'm around alcohol I'll have no option but to get drunk?
The flip side is, of course, that my sobriety hinges on my ability to live a life of recovery. If I do that, alcohol and the "drink problem" no longer exist. I'm an alcoholic, not a problem drinker. Drinking wasn't the problem, alcoholism is the problem for a guy like me. Treat the alcoholism and alcohol become irrelevant....... doesn't matter if it's around, not around, I'm surrounded by it or not.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
Hi sleepie;
I just woke up to this thread.
I do hope you didn't choose to drink.
Sobriety is work, especially at the beginning,
but really worth it.
We can't not drink for you, but we are all rooting that you make
the best choices for yourself.
Hugs
I just woke up to this thread.
I do hope you didn't choose to drink.
Sobriety is work, especially at the beginning,
but really worth it.
We can't not drink for you, but we are all rooting that you make
the best choices for yourself.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I have for two days played the tape. Into next year, next week,. I have been wavering all night especially and feel like if I'm gonna drink I should just quit posting and do it already.
I think your above statement is so spot on. but finish the statement.
I have for two days played the tape. Into next year, next week,. I have been wavering all night especially and feel like if I'm gonna drink I should just quit posting and do it already. /but i know where this will lead and it is a place i really dont want to be and i'm trying to be free from/
Its TORMENTING really when seen that way. Thats what I felt. when i sobered up the first half of hte statement was so true. The last part of the statement also true and its like NOW WHAT?
I had a contradiction in my head. It did not compute really. But I just kept moving forward and stayed sober. Eventualy the 2 sides to that statement seperated out into 2 entities. My AV and me the person who wants to be happy and healthy. Then those 2 could duke it out and I could maybe have a chance of winning the fight.
Hang in there. I really appreciate your posts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
I am just now seeing this thread, sleepie.
I hope that you made it through the night unscathed.
Stick with this, sleepie; it is not easy; it takes time and resolve and strength and perseverance and commitment - sometimes to succeed it takes all we have; but you have what it takes to stay sober and find recovery, sleepie. Recovery is worth the effort; sleepie is worth the effort.
I hope that you made it through the night unscathed.
Stick with this, sleepie; it is not easy; it takes time and resolve and strength and perseverance and commitment - sometimes to succeed it takes all we have; but you have what it takes to stay sober and find recovery, sleepie. Recovery is worth the effort; sleepie is worth the effort.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
they are friends of mine they would have no problem at all with me helping myself.
suddenly, the "helping myself" took on its original meaning.
you wouldn't be helping yourself at all.
hurting yourself.
suddenly, the "helping myself" took on its original meaning.
you wouldn't be helping yourself at all.
hurting yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I did it! I abstained. Last night was hellish, I got a scant few hours of interrupted sleep. I feel disgusting today. And I have no plans besides drinking about a gallon of iced decaf and walking out for some toothpaste.
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