About to say eff it
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
And I'm thinking one or two in two weeks is great for me so no big deal. Yes I know it's
Messed up but I need to say what's on my mind right now.
And I am in a mood where everything irritates me and nothing interests me, I have been blankly staring at films for hours, they don't register. Then I try to read and I have to go over the same page ten times cause I cannot pay attention. I need someone to talk to, or visit. I am so lonely. And boyfriend is not a talker. He is not even here anyway.
Messed up but I need to say what's on my mind right now.
And I am in a mood where everything irritates me and nothing interests me, I have been blankly staring at films for hours, they don't register. Then I try to read and I have to go over the same page ten times cause I cannot pay attention. I need someone to talk to, or visit. I am so lonely. And boyfriend is not a talker. He is not even here anyway.
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by sleepie 
I have for two days played the tape. Into next year, next week,. I have been wavering all night especially and feel like if I'm gonna drink I should just quit posting and do it already.
I made a thread just before this one because I've got the same issue going on. Bar right next to me, always open, and I want to drink---
But I'm not going to do it, and I'm not doing it because I believe in sobriety and recognize that my drinking is not something I can just "do." I've seen your posts and know it's the same for you also; to drink "just for tonight" isn't how it works for us. It messes everything up about going for sobriety, and I know it and you know it.
I'm going for a walk right now. I've got a big bottle of water and I'm going to drink that and walk. I'd really suggest doing the same. Just take a walk around the neighborhood where you're dog-sitting, drink water or coffee and come back and check on the dog, and just keep doing it over and over if you have to.
You don't have to drink. You make a choice to. And you know you can make the right one like you have for the past two weeks.
Don't cut yourself short. You can do this.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
SfromWI they are friends of mine they would have no problem at all with me helping myself. I wish I had a big iced tea but everything is closed. I drank so d*** much water I pee clear! sorry to be crass.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Sleepie,
How well do you sleep at night when you drink? On the nights when I drink, I have lousy sleep, get really hot, change rooms often because I get agitated, and have anxious, paranoid thoughts. This is enough for me to refrain from drinking, as it is absolute hell for me.
How well do you sleep at night when you drink? On the nights when I drink, I have lousy sleep, get really hot, change rooms often because I get agitated, and have anxious, paranoid thoughts. This is enough for me to refrain from drinking, as it is absolute hell for me.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hey sleepie,
You definitely have to play the tape forward tonight. Go easy on yourself. You are doing a benzo taper and have been working so hard to get to a good place. You are bringing yourself there!
If there is a nurse hotline for your doc's office, maybe you could give it a call - the irritation could definitely be from the taper and I'm sure they would talk you through the rough patch. Don't drink. Tomorrow is a new day.
You definitely have to play the tape forward tonight. Go easy on yourself. You are doing a benzo taper and have been working so hard to get to a good place. You are bringing yourself there!
If there is a nurse hotline for your doc's office, maybe you could give it a call - the irritation could definitely be from the taper and I'm sure they would talk you through the rough patch. Don't drink. Tomorrow is a new day.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Sleepie. Do you want to be sober? It takes work. It comes down to making that decision. No excuses shuffled off as "reasons". Take responsibility and command for your life. It gets much easier the longer you stay sober.
It's your call. I advise you to not drink, don't take the extra benzo and see about getting a sobriety plan in the morning.
Love from Lenina
It's your call. I advise you to not drink, don't take the extra benzo and see about getting a sobriety plan in the morning.
Love from Lenina
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ugh that means another sleepless night... And I have to get lost tomorrow cause an assistant for the guy who lives here is going to be here and she always harps me out of the house. The dog is snoring and it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. He also always wets inside even after I walk him. I am beyond irritated.
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