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03-16-2015, 05:13 PM

# 21 (permalink)

Gottalife

12 Step Recovered Alcoholic

Join Date: Apr 2012

Location: New Zealand

Posts: 6,613

Quote:

Originally Posted by zenchaser

but as time when on I started feeling worse and worse and so tense sometimes. I was losing interest in everything and not answering the phone when it rang, not even calling people back or responding to texts. I just didn't care. I had zero fcuks to give. But winter is almost over and that was a big factor..... now that the sun is back maybe I won't go to such a dark place again.

I just don't know. I'm sober today and as long as most days are that way then at least there's a bunch of harm reduction.

This was the bit I couldn't fix and it always lead me back to a drink. Some call it the internal spiritual malady, some call it untreated alcoholism. I found the solution in the AA program... Not the meetings. The program treated the malady, life became enjoyable, hence the need to drink was removed.

03-16-2015, 05:24 PM

# 22 (permalink)

silentrun

voices ca**y

Join Date: Mar 2013

Location: St. Paul Minnesota

Posts: 4,360

Zen, whatever you do please stay with us. A word on those antidepressants, you don't have to be on them forever. I went on Celexa for a few months and the way it leveled me out was such a relief. I had been sober over a year at that point and I started to get the best sleep ever once I started taking it. It did put weight on me and it did screw with my libido and it was totally worth it to be calm for awhile. I went off it for a few months and decided I wanted to get some help again. So I went on Effexor for a couple months. I am not using anything currently but I am over 2 years so the worst in terms of mood swings is behind me as long as I stay away from sugar. Just saying don't count it out to get you through your first year or two. Absolutely keeping a strict diet and exercise may get you through it but be honest how likely that is to happen.
My ahedonia was really bad for 2 full months and I can't say it was all the way gone until almost a year. Extreme irritability was actually a sign that my brain was rewiring. It sucked but I knew there was something good waiting for me on the other side of it.