Roxxxy

Hello all - first off I apologize in advance if anyone finds offense to this post, not my intentions.

Q: why are alcoholics in denial? Why do they "hate" being labeled as an alcoholic?

So.... In all do respect, when being called a alcoholic what does that mean to you? How does it affect you?

I'm not trying to start a debate in exchange of words on this topic. Nor am I looking for any reversed comments on how I would feel if being called a certain name. Alcoholism is a true disease and I'm just simply trying to understand.

I find it necessary in needing to understand because at the moment I have a friend who is battling possible alcoholism and depression. Yet, I believe he is an alcoholic already having 3DUIS. With that said, I also believe he's in denial with his heavy drinking. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

SoberAlky

Alcoholics resist that label because being called an addict has traditionally been viewed as society as a moral shortcoming or failing. In that sense, I don't think it's really all that different from calling someone "stupid," or "ignorant," because "ignorance" implies a failed attempt at education. And that judgment is alive and well. My father's remaining family has estranged themselves from me because they have chosen to label me an addict in the traditional sense. A screwup. And it hurts when people close to you choose to view you like that. But the longer I'm sober, the less it hurts because with clarity, I can see it's their failing to see addiction for what it really is. How do I feel when someone calls me an alcoholic now? Guilty as charged.

As for your friend, just from the limited amount of information you've provided, he does sound like he fits the traditional definition of an alcoholic - someone who can't control their drinking once they've started. But you also mention depression, which is probably what is driving his alcoholism - self medication. I drank heavily for years to alleviate crippling anxiety and panic. He really needs to be seen in a dual diagnosis facility, because I suspect, as was the case with me, the alcoholism is actually a symptom of a deeper, underlying problem. Once I found a good addiction psychiatrist who treated the underlying anxiety, it all of a sudden became a lot easier to stay sober. I have to get back to work, but I'll add more later if I think of anything.

thomas11

I think their is a social stigma attached to any addiction, and generally looked down upon by society. I don't think anybody desires to have that affiliation.

Regarding denial, there could be a multitude of reasons but for someone who is actively drinking, they deny there is a problem because they like it, and don't want to give it up. They like it, until they don't, and I believe often times that is when they are near their rock bottom.

Not knowing your friend, 3DUI's, its likely there is an issue there. Or it could be that he has terrible luck. I'm guessing the former.

I think alcoholics that are successful in their sobriety could care less what people call them. They know that they have achieved a sober life and its much better. I think its called self acceptance. Many embrace it. Lastly, I believe the one who has to come to terms with their drinking, is you friend. You can care and care and care, but if that friend isn't ready, nothing is likely to change. Good luck to you.

zjw

i dont mind being called an alcoholic by some. but many are ignorant of what it means to be an alcoholic. many looked down on me when i was an active drinker to have htem think of me as such now well i dont like it. It makes me wanna hang my head low and or kick them in the teeth. But it is what it is. I cannot expect them to ever understand it.

In good company however I wear it like a badge of honor like its somehow my super power. in many many ways over coming alcohol has been one of the single best things that has ever happened to me in life. its ranked up there with having a child or gettng married etc.. potentially higher just becuase the up sides to it bear even better fruit to a marriage or childred etc..

Soberwolf

I was in denial because i didnt want to stop or face up to having a problem with alcohol

im glad i faced up to it and accepted it and to this day continue to work on it

silentrun

I was in denial because it first damaged the cognitive part of my brain that figures those kinds of things out. It happened so gradually that I didn't realize what was going on. Plus people get used to certain things no matter how bad they are and it just seems normal. Selection bias played a role because I wanted to keep drinking so badly I would look for evidence that I didn't have a real problem and ignore evidence that I did. Once I realized how deep I was in I quit. It took a lot to break through that though. I am the only one that has ever called me an alcoholic and I was the only one who had to anyway.

Notimetoloose

It is not just alcoholics that are in denial, denial is for everyone. Everyday people are in denial about all sorts of things.
Denial works to protect us, as a defence mechanism. Denial also allows us to go about our business without addressing our issues.
I wasn't in denial, I knew I needed to stop, I just couldn't. I would last a few days, weeks even a few months....I kept trying all the time and it was exhausting.
I hated the word alcoholic, still do! I think that word doesn't help those that are in denial.
Some people can react better and open up to a problem if the word alcoholic isn't used!.

Boleo

A: Alcoholics resent anyone or anything that stands between them and their next drink. Today I call myself an alcoholic because it helps me see what true humility is;

1. The truth about myself

2. The truth about my weaknesses

3. The truth about my potential to change