Katie88

Hi Everyone,

I think one of my good friends went to rehab but is too afraid to tell people. She told me she was going away for a bit, didn't know how long, had to hand over email access to her boss, etc. This is someone that usually tells me everything, I know she has a drinking problem, and I know she has always been in denial about it.

I am so worried about whats become of me that I have text her a few times - no response. She ALWAYS responds to me. I am wondering if she is in rehab...maybe she doesn't have cell access or her doctors have told her to not have contact with the outside world? Do they do that in rehab?

I am not asking for advice on how to approach this relationship, so I don't need to hear comments like "she will get back to you when the time is right." I know this. I am just curious if the environment of inpatient rehabs prohibits the use of cell phones and/or other communication from the outside world. If anyone has insight into this I would appreciate it.

Thank you!

least

When I was in rehab we weren't allowed to have our cell phones with us. Had to store them. Phone calls were strictly limited too. I wouldn't worry. She's probably not allowed her cell.

Katie88

thanks least. yeah, i figured this. But do you know the reason behind this?

least

Where I was, they wanted us to focus totally on our recovery with no outside influences. Not to mention, some of the people tried to have friends bring them "things" they weren't supposed to have.

Katie88

thanks Least. I hope i hear from her again.

Impurrfect

Katie - I was never in rehab, but I know of people who have been and outside contact is often very limited.

My best guess is that rehab is a place for the addict/alcoholic (A) to focus on themselves, where they are in life, and learn how to live a life without substances.

Concentration is often hard to come by in early recovery. Though you mean well, can you imagine if she IS in rehab and people are texting her about going out and partying?

I was locked up, for a while, in a diversion center (in custody, had a job and paid rent to be in custody). No cell phones were allowed, we could use pay phones only at certain times.

I needed that structure. I was forced to focus on what had gotten me to where I was, how much I hated it, and what I could do to get myself in a better position.

I hope your friend is okay and she is doing what she needs to do to get better.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Soberwolf

My sister is currently in rehab she wasnt allowed her phone at first and i dont call untill after 4pm but i can phone her now

Katie88

thanks guys. impurrfect, I do not drink and i am not texting her about partying. she knows this. i just love her and am worried about her since she dropped off the face of the earth without explanation.

stephendu

Yes. This may be true. Rehabs are quite weird. The one I went to did not allow cell phones.

Boleo

YEP! That's one of the covert operations that I saw going on in rehab.

Sasha4

I understand how you must feel.
I worry when I don't hear from someone I love.

I would have thought if something bad happened to her you would know.

I know in my line of work, when a person is suffering stress or 'psychological' illnesses, my employers often step in and disable any contact they have with work.
Email is disabled, phones are suspended (we work from home) so that person is not open to any of the everyday stresses and strains work can bring and they 100% focus on getting better.

Hope you hear from her soon and she does well wherever she is xx

Katie88

thanks Sasha. Yeah, i am pretty sure her employer intervened and she went to rehab. She told me she didnt know how long she would be gone, she couldnt talk about it, but she would be in touch and she didnt want me to worry.

I hope i am not someone who causes her stress or a bad influence, as i love her and only want the best for her. i have told her more than once i wanted her to stop drinking - so i support this, if thats what is going on.

its the not knowing that is killing me

Carlotta

Walking out of a facility is when people are the most vulnerable. They were sheltered for 28+ days and are a bit lost back in the big world. It s often when their AV tells them it s ok to have just one.

I see you are also in recovery. Having a good friend out there who is also in recovery could make a big difference for her.
Maybe send one last text saying you d love to pick her up once she leaves rehab (if you are in AA take her to a meeting) and offer to bring her home and help her clean up her apartment of any empties she might have.
She'll see the txt when she gets her phone back and know that she has support

Sasha4

I don't think you would be a cause of stress to her.
If you were, I am sure she would have told you somewhere along the line, especially if she drank a lot and talked when she did!
Maybe you could ring her at work, try leave a message and they might say 'she won't be back until...' and that might give you an idea?

Maybe she wants to surprise you and turn up looking happy and healthy?
That would be nice for both of you.

Impurrfect

Katie - I didn't mean to imply that YOU were texting her about partying, just that others may be.

I know that when I relapsed, I had a ton of calls and messages that I didn't listen to until I was in recovery. The ones that meant the most to me were the ones that encouraged me.

I'm keeping you and your friend in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Katie88

Sasha and Carlotta - thanks, great advice

The thing is Carlotta, she didnt tell me she was going to rehab, just that she was going away for a while. I think she is very ashamed. She knows i stopped drinking because of the problems it was causing me. I also told her at one point that i was worried about her drinking, with the idea that my explaining my own struggles with it would help her open up to me about it.

So texting or calling saying i think is in rehab, when she hasnt told me she is, may be a bit intrusive. In this situation i think i just need to wait for her to reach out. I was just wondering in general about how the communication in inpatient facilities. I never went to one.

Katie88

thanks impurrfect. i see what you are saying.

TigerLili

The rehabs here have levels of permission. You have to be in for a while, going to meetings and generally participating well in your own recovery before you get things like phone and visitor privileges. It's not like a set thing, like you get your phone back after two weeks. It's an individual thing.

KAD

Yeah, I concur with what others have said. When I was in detox and rehab, my cell phone was confiscated, along with my tablet. They did allow me to hold onto my Kindle, as long as I didn't try to download anything, which would have been pretty much impossible since you had to have a password to get on the WiFi. My work is in IT, so not having access to the internet or even email was very distracting for me. Not sure if it was so much for my own good or just to give the staff peace of mind.

LBrain

heck, we weren't allowed to have more than 5 bucks cash...
besides focusing on why you are there, no cell phones is to protect the client and others,
people are constantly trying to sneak 'stuff' in. Rehabs are a mixed group of people.
The alcoholic stepford wife is sitting right next to someone who spent weeks crashed at a crack house.
Many attempt to deal drugs in rehabs. I've seen it happen.

You friend is not ignoring you. She is in somewhat of an isolated existence at the moment.