TrapezeFreak

With my drinking it has always been a habit and a routine. Get off work and start drinking till bed. I never have really had any physical withdrawals except after really massive weekend binges but man my brain right now is really fighting me. By now I'd normally be a few drinks in and my brain is like dude we're behind here what are we doing? I'm only on day 2 and the longest I've ever gone in the last I don't know how many years is 5 days before I slip. My wife is not home right now and I am really fighting off my AV. Anyone suffer from the more mental side vs the physical? I've never had DT's or anything that extreme just anxiety and depression which are things I had before I discovered the bottle. Granted I have made those worse due to my drinking but man I can't stop my brain right now. The other problem is that every damn thing I do is associated with the drink. Going to be a long night and this weekend has me really worried but I know I don't want to go to work on Monday with that usual feeling of wanting to never feel like that again. However right at this moment I can't see that. UGH! Makes me so frustrated.

Thanks for reading. It's appreciated.

Dee74

I think a lot of us have had experience with fighting the mental side of things.

My advice is to mix your routine up a bit - try to keep busy - sitting there is probably not going to make you think of drinking any less, y'know?

There are some fine cravings tips here too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

whenever you need support - reach out here...there's always someone around

D

Tally809

Yes! ^^^ I'm spending my energy keeping distracted. I love movies, reading and food! So I've been enjoying myself and not watching the clock

usedtobepretty

Today is day 2 for me and what's getting to me is BOREDOM... I'm like you, I fill the time with drinking... I took others advice and stuffed myself with yummy food/pop/sugary snacks (which seems unhealthy, but really made the cravings subside). Tomorrow I will try to stay out of the house so I can stay sober, or have a good solid workout to tire myself out. I think we get ourselves into a "comfy" routine of drinking... it's hard to step outside of that comfort and face sobriety --- I hear it can be SO rewarding, and that you WILL feel better... stay strong!

TrapezeFreak

Yes stepping outside of the comfort is hard. I am usually busy at work and rarely even think of that first drink but as soon as I get home I am pulling the glass out of the cupboard. I stay busy at home usually too but it's never without a drink nearby. Going to do a yoga session in a little bit and try to keep fighting. Tomorrow I had to turn down a get together with a friend because we'd be at a bar and tomorrow night is a party for a family member where all will be drinking. I am absolutely dreading that. Hell usually at an event like that I'd show up half crocked. Now I need to stay dry before during and after. But like you said usedtobepretty I hear it can be so rewarding and I believe that it is. I just need to start breaking down the walls. Thanks all.

zjw

the mental side for me was mainly about rewriting my triggers / patterns. each day that went by as I defeated more and more triggers to make me drink and reinforced new behaivior that did not involve drinking it started to get easier. the new mental me became one that didn't drink slowly but surely. But then with stuff like anxiety and such I just wanted relief I feel that was more chemical and my body wanted the booze to calm my nerves. In time that eases up too. The crappy thing is if you drink you get to start this game all over again and with day 1 being as difficult as it can be who wants to start that again?

its actually easier to just keep moving forward and staying sober then to back pedal go figure. It might not appear this way but believe me it is.

Gottalife

It was never outside circumstances that made me drink. It was my reaction to life. The problem centres mainly in my mind. And had to find a way to radically and permanently change my reaction to life.

leviathan

got netflix? -not necessarily productive, but works for me when having the boredom when also dont really want to do an activity.

sugarbear1

I've had the same experience.

Being more and more sober was not fun, on day 5 I went to AA and on day 12 I met a woman who guided me through those steps with amazing results.

gaffo

Whatever "torture" sobriety throws at me pales in comparison to the chamber of horrors that I was living in with drinking. Just keep on not drinking and things will get easier. Have faith.

Fluffer

One big thing to remember is that drinking does not make your problems or anxiety go away. It just time shifts them forward one day with compound interest. In fact, alcohol is often the main source of the anxiety itself. Just try to face the situations that you dread and deal with them. And you know what - that is how you make them disappear. The longer you put them off the larger they grow in your head.

Grungehead

Early days are tough. I spent a lot of time on these boards, going to AA meetings, taking brisk walks and catching up (bingeing?) on TV series. Things WILL start gradually improving day by day so don't give in to the AV. For me the mental obsession was much more difficult to overcome than the physical withdrawal. That's where getting to the root of why I drank was so important as that is when I was able to make changes to shut down the AV in its tracks.

markz

Mental Craving = Obsession = Thoughts

Physical Craving = You drank, now you have the phenomenon of craving, the allergic reaction to drinking booze is just that phenomenon of craving. The normal reaction for me is a) handcuffs b) spots like Miami, LA, Paris (Black out and end up miles away) Normal reaction for an allergy to strawberries is a rash, hard of breathing etc.

You can deal with thoughts.
Cant deal with it once you take the drink. You are F'd as they say, go along for the ride, sober up and get back on the water wagon!

Cravings - You crave more and more with each drink. There is a thirst for more. We do not sit down and drink gallons of ice cold water in an evening. But booze we sure can. That is the craving aspect.

ubntubnt

I drank for 27 years. Longest dry period in the past 15 years was 2 or 3 days. I can't remember any 3 day stretches but there must have been one or two. I am 10 weeks dry now. I didn't suffer from DTs.

For me it was about breaking habits and keeping myself busy. I attend AA meetings, read SR a lot and read about alcoholism in general including AVRT. I also eat earlier than I used to so that I am full of food at witching hour at therefore less likely to want to drink. I also make arrangements where I can that eat in the 6pm-9pm time slot during the week. If I have not drank by 9pm I am much less likely to. The house is an alcohol free zone. I watch netflix a lot on business trips. I keep lots of unhealthy snacks around like ice cream and chocolate so I can eat them if I am craving or feeling sorry for myself.

TrapezeFreak

Thanks for all the responses. Today is unfortunately Day 1 again. I slipped over the weekend and the result was of course a terrible weekend of shame and hiding. Why? I "made it" it until 10:30 Friday night then had a disagreement with my wife and I chose to go drink and then drank until late afternoon yesterday. I started to drink a ton of water, read a ton of posts on SR, and went to bed. I feel "fine" today and want today to be a new beginning. I simply can't keep doing this to myself. It has made me into a person I don't want to be and it scares me.

My wife is a very positive happy person in general. I tend to be more negative although I always contend I am a realist, not negative. She wants me to be happy more than anything in the world. Being happy is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. Anyone have any affirmations that help them start each day and stay on track? I am so sick of falling down time and time again. My life is passing me by. Fed up. Everything is a trigger. How do you deal with just about everything being a trigger???

GabrielleSolis1

I know what you mean. I'm no expert on staying sober- I'm currently on Day 8 and I'm just dealing with each day. I guess we have to look at it in an opposite perspective- what is the trigger to stay sober? And then focus on that...

MelindaFlowers

I used to worry whether it was physical or mental addiction. It's both. I'd say 90% psychological/emotional dependence.

But does it really matter? I stopped thinking about this stuff the day I stopped drinking.

Just have to cut the cord, starve the beast, do anything other than drink.

Hawks

There is no physical addiction to alcohol after 72 hours (approximately)

After that, it's all mental.

As Gottalife said, the problem centres in our ninds

TrapezeFreak

Thanks again. In all my time reading here before posting I can't say I remember seeing that 72 hour note Hawks. That in and of itself is a motivation to get to day 3 and then to keep going. Being in my own head is a huge problem for me and one of the reasons I drink; so I can get out of my head. I've known for a long time I need to find better ways to deal with my stressors and problems that run through my mind at all times. Trying to focus on that and not run and hide has always been and will remain a challenge for me.

SoberAndy94

I think the mental side of things is way worse than the physical. I heard that a lot of alcoholics relapse because of boredom. We were so used to doing everything when we had a drink in our hands. Now that we've quit, everything feels a bit weird without a drink so I totally understand where you're coming from. I try and keep occupied, not just by watching tv or playing games but I try and occupy myself with useful things like education, reading, exercise etc. Good luck