People who tell just to stop...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ascot
Posts: 73
People who tell just to stop...
How do you deal with—albeit concerned—family members who just tell you to stop and sort it out?
I know that makes sense logically, but to the addict, it's tough.
I know that makes sense logically, but to the addict, it's tough.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
It sounds like you are suffering from the classic ambivalence felt by the person just beginning to accept that life is not ok while drinking. Yet the idea of stopping is so frightening that it creates mental tug of war which goes on and on.
The bad news is that continuing to drink does not improve the situation. Things just get worse. Stopping is difficult and coping without alcohol can be quite challenging in the beginning.
Now the good news. An honest admission to your physician about the extent of your drinking might make detoxing much easier (provided you strictly follow their advice). AA can also provide much support from people who have been through what you are now facing.
The best news of all is that things get much better when you start to accumulate some time away alcohol. Life does continue to have its challenges, but it becomes easier to deal with them than it was when you were drinking.
Come join us.
The bad news is that continuing to drink does not improve the situation. Things just get worse. Stopping is difficult and coping without alcohol can be quite challenging in the beginning.
Now the good news. An honest admission to your physician about the extent of your drinking might make detoxing much easier (provided you strictly follow their advice). AA can also provide much support from people who have been through what you are now facing.
The best news of all is that things get much better when you start to accumulate some time away alcohol. Life does continue to have its challenges, but it becomes easier to deal with them than it was when you were drinking.
Come join us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Family used to tell me that all the time, and because I didn't want to stop I never listened.
They do care though, and they are expressing concern the only way they know how too.
In hindsight I now realise they were right, and if a family member is saying something or has noticed your drinking, then maybe it might be time to stop and examine things Sarah!!
They do care though, and they are expressing concern the only way they know how too.
In hindsight I now realise they were right, and if a family member is saying something or has noticed your drinking, then maybe it might be time to stop and examine things Sarah!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I hated when people said "just quit drinking." I always wanted to shout at them. "Don't you understand that it isn't that easy?"
In retrospect, it actually IS that easy. What is much harder by far is what awuh1 commented about the ambivalence felt by the person just beginning to accept that life is not ok while drinking. I tried every which way possible to find any way to control my drinking. To deny that I had a problem. However, once I accepted that life isn't ok while drinking, and that I did have a very serious problem, I quit.
If you quit, you will never hear anyone tell you to just quit.
In retrospect, it actually IS that easy. What is much harder by far is what awuh1 commented about the ambivalence felt by the person just beginning to accept that life is not ok while drinking. I tried every which way possible to find any way to control my drinking. To deny that I had a problem. However, once I accepted that life isn't ok while drinking, and that I did have a very serious problem, I quit.
If you quit, you will never hear anyone tell you to just quit.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
My family told me that my addiction
and a need for continued recovery was
a crutch and it was all in my head and
was a reason I was looking for attention.
I learned that I couldn't and cant control
other people, no matter what they say or
think and accept them for what they are.
For me to live a healthy happy honest life
in recovery I had to move away, divorce
myself, distance myself from all of those
that didn't and don't understand addiction.
I guess I got sick and tired of trying to
make them understand who and what
I was that I finally Let Go and turned
those folks over to a Power Greater than
I.
A program of recovery help me see what
I needed to do. A healthier solution for all
my questionable situations.
and a need for continued recovery was
a crutch and it was all in my head and
was a reason I was looking for attention.
I learned that I couldn't and cant control
other people, no matter what they say or
think and accept them for what they are.
For me to live a healthy happy honest life
in recovery I had to move away, divorce
myself, distance myself from all of those
that didn't and don't understand addiction.
I guess I got sick and tired of trying to
make them understand who and what
I was that I finally Let Go and turned
those folks over to a Power Greater than
I.
A program of recovery help me see what
I needed to do. A healthier solution for all
my questionable situations.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
It used to annoy me too...but I'm going to go with your family Sarah:
from this side of the fence, that's EXACTLY what I needed to do.
What makes stopping drinking so hard, and I think makes it look so immense, is the need most of us have to change our lives.
That was the real sticking point for me...my life was sodden in alcohol.
That needed to change, and my life with it.
Eventually tho I got to the point where I was willing to do anything to get out of the cycle.
I'm glad I did, cos the life I have now is so much better in every way - but you need to get past the fear of change first.
You have the chance to be way smarter than me and accept the need for change now Sarah , not later
from this side of the fence, that's EXACTLY what I needed to do.
What makes stopping drinking so hard, and I think makes it look so immense, is the need most of us have to change our lives.
That was the real sticking point for me...my life was sodden in alcohol.
That needed to change, and my life with it.
Eventually tho I got to the point where I was willing to do anything to get out of the cycle.
I'm glad I did, cos the life I have now is so much better in every way - but you need to get past the fear of change first.
You have the chance to be way smarter than me and accept the need for change now Sarah , not later
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by sarahlou87 
How do you deal with—albeit concerned—family members who just tell you to stop and sort it out?
I know that makes sense logically, but to the addict, it's tough.
I know that makes sense logically, but to the addict, it's tough.
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