Hitting bottom
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Hitting bottom
Now I know what that means. I am fortunate enough that my employer wants to help instead of kicking me out the door.
Going to rehab Monday. Wish me luck, please, and send as many prayers as you can my way.
Shaking like a leaf but I don;'t know if it's out of fear or because its cold as sh!t here!
Going to rehab Monday. Wish me luck, please, and send as many prayers as you can my way.
Shaking like a leaf but I don;'t know if it's out of fear or because its cold as sh!t here!
Freethinker
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 32
Rehabs are a big part of my story, for better or worse. For me, they were difficult but ultimately incredibly positive experiences. It should be an excellent opportunity to face your fear in a supportive environment, but keep in (the front of your) mind...
It is what you do after that counts!
It is what you do after that counts!
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by stephendu 
Hope your place is better than the one I went to. It was the worst experience of my life. I'll be thinking of you.
Oh, I don't like hearing that. I want to live!
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by SarahB60
Best of luck! You're very fortunate to have a supportive employer.
It is only because I have done a good job and they like me. I will toot my own horn and say I am a very likeable person. I like to laugh. I love to joke around. I make people smile.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by GetMeOut
Now I know what that means. I am fortunate enough that my employer wants to help instead of kicking me out the door.
Going to rehab Monday. Wish me luck, please, and send as many prayers as you can my way.
Shaking like a leaf but I don;'t know if it's out of fear or because its cold as sh!t here!
Going to rehab Monday. Wish me luck, please, and send as many prayers as you can my way.
Shaking like a leaf but I don;'t know if it's out of fear or because its cold as sh!t here!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
Well, everyones got to hit a bottom.
If that means death, so be it.
Its good that people stand by you, but if we keep falling down, they lose faith!
Can only say "I am sorry" so many times.
Got to say "I was wrong", then change the actions.
If that means death, so be it.
Its good that people stand by you, but if we keep falling down, they lose faith!
Can only say "I am sorry" so many times.
Got to say "I was wrong", then change the actions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Good luck! You have a great employer and must be a great employee to be given such a chance. I too stressed out before I went to rehab. It's not as rough as you think it is. Just go with the flow and try to stay positive. Just remember, the only thing that's going to fix you is you.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Time for an update on all this. The place I went for detox and rehab was on the other side of the country from me, in CA. I had gone through this service that supposedly finds the best deals and they promised the moon and the stars. Insurance would cover it all, they'd pay for the flight, yada yada yada.
So, I completed detox and while on the way to the rehab center, I was on the phone with my HR Rep. She informed me that the facilities were out of network and only covered at 50%, plus I had a $3K copay! Yikes! So she and I both agreed it would probably be best to come back home and find something more local, possibly on an outpatient basis.
I came back with a list of outpatient rehab centers in my area and she said she would start checking them out. Next day, she insists I check them out and they all want to meet with me that afternoon.
In the meantime, I met with a local outpatient rehab facility and they informed me that, since I was going on 10 days sober (which is where I am now), I would find it very difficult to get into an inpatient facility and I would find it even more difficult to get insurance to cover anything because I've already gone through detox and am showing I can stay sober.
Well, at the meeting with my employer, they really gang up on me. The have a new memorandum stating that since I left before completing the program, that was grounds for termination but they were giving me one last chance to find an inpatient facility. I looked at the HR Rep and said, "You agreed that I should come back and look for a local outpatient facility." She just gave a condescending smile and said, "Yeeeaaaah, looks like that's not an option now."
I left the meeting and got right to work looking for inpatient facilities in my area. I called one and they verified that I'd likely not get help from insurance since I was already sober. (It's like I'm being penalized for being sober!) They wouldn't have a room available for another week and I'd have to pay $12K upfront! That's just a smidge out of my budget. In fact, all of this is. (Forgot to mention that my flight to CA was not covered and I ended up paying over $1K in plane tickets alone.) They mentioned another place in a more rural area that didn't deal with insurance at all. I'd have to pay $3500 and that's the total cost of the rehab. That's still gonna put me in the hole but it's the best option I could find. Going there, possibly this weekend, but Monday at the latest. It's a 28-day thing. The one in CA was going to be 45 days, which I felt was excessive, especially considering only 50% coverage.
Spoke to my employer again this morning. They are fine with my choice and I am ready to get started. I know I could fall a lot further than I did, but I don't ever wanna get anywhere near that low again. I was finally having blackout periods. I could not remember things I'd done or said. I'd have vague recollections but there were gaps everywhere.
Another sad part of this story is that my ex-wife will only allow supervised visits with the kids for a while. I was being terribly irresponsible with them, too.... driving drunk, passing out, etc. I took them to a movie and slept through the whole thing and then on the way home, clipped a curb with one of my wheels and burst one of my tires. I've been a bad boy.
I may still end up having to sell the house just to be able to pay back all the debt I'm incurring and it's all because of that damned bottle! Alcohol will ruin you!
So, I completed detox and while on the way to the rehab center, I was on the phone with my HR Rep. She informed me that the facilities were out of network and only covered at 50%, plus I had a $3K copay! Yikes! So she and I both agreed it would probably be best to come back home and find something more local, possibly on an outpatient basis.
I came back with a list of outpatient rehab centers in my area and she said she would start checking them out. Next day, she insists I check them out and they all want to meet with me that afternoon.
In the meantime, I met with a local outpatient rehab facility and they informed me that, since I was going on 10 days sober (which is where I am now), I would find it very difficult to get into an inpatient facility and I would find it even more difficult to get insurance to cover anything because I've already gone through detox and am showing I can stay sober.Well, at the meeting with my employer, they really gang up on me. The have a new memorandum stating that since I left before completing the program, that was grounds for termination but they were giving me one last chance to find an inpatient facility. I looked at the HR Rep and said, "You agreed that I should come back and look for a local outpatient facility." She just gave a condescending smile and said, "Yeeeaaaah, looks like that's not an option now."
I left the meeting and got right to work looking for inpatient facilities in my area. I called one and they verified that I'd likely not get help from insurance since I was already sober. (It's like I'm being penalized for being sober!) They wouldn't have a room available for another week and I'd have to pay $12K upfront! That's just a smidge out of my budget. In fact, all of this is. (Forgot to mention that my flight to CA was not covered and I ended up paying over $1K in plane tickets alone.) They mentioned another place in a more rural area that didn't deal with insurance at all. I'd have to pay $3500 and that's the total cost of the rehab. That's still gonna put me in the hole but it's the best option I could find. Going there, possibly this weekend, but Monday at the latest. It's a 28-day thing. The one in CA was going to be 45 days, which I felt was excessive, especially considering only 50% coverage.
Spoke to my employer again this morning. They are fine with my choice and I am ready to get started. I know I could fall a lot further than I did, but I don't ever wanna get anywhere near that low again. I was finally having blackout periods. I could not remember things I'd done or said. I'd have vague recollections but there were gaps everywhere.
Another sad part of this story is that my ex-wife will only allow supervised visits with the kids for a while. I was being terribly irresponsible with them, too.... driving drunk, passing out, etc. I took them to a movie and slept through the whole thing and then on the way home, clipped a curb with one of my wheels and burst one of my tires. I've been a bad boy.
I may still end up having to sell the house just to be able to pay back all the debt I'm incurring and it's all because of that damned bottle! Alcohol will ruin you!
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