KChance

That is what I have read in other places, that line that gets crossed. Part of me is hoping that I have not gotten to that line yet and I want to turn things around before I do get there.

MelindaFlowers

Oh heavens I tried that many, many times and failed every time. My only goal was to get really really buzzed or drunk and it took 10 to 12 to do that. Why would of I drank less than 10? I wouldn't of gotten drunk.

MelindaFlowers

Kchance, The problem is that we drink for the buzz in the good feelings. It's just a natural and inevitable thing that our tolerance will go up so the quantity will go up. If the quantity did not go up then we would not reach what we were seeking in drinking which is a buzz. So I see that increase in quantity as pretty much inevitable. And then of course with the increase in quantity there is an increase in hangovers. Ah, we all know where that heads!

Taking5

Normal drinkers don't join recovery websites nor do they post questions asking if moderation is possible. They just moderate because they want to.

That invisible line that Dee mentioned was crossed by you a long time ago. The fact that you are here and asking questions in this vein are a testament to this. It is time to accept that you are an abnormal drinker and do something about it.....or not. JMHO.

Taking5

Normal drinkers don't join recovery websites nor do they post questions asking if moderation is possible. They just moderate because they want to.

That invisible line that Dee mentioned was crossed by you a long time ago. The fact that you are here and asking questions in this vein are a testament to this. It is time to accept that you are an abnormal drinker and do something about it.....or not. JMHO.

MelindaFlowers

When I joined here in 2010 I really just wanted to take a break from drinking or learn how to moderate. I thought that having some accountability on this website would make me drink less. It didn't and then I took a four-year break so I continue drinking and then my life became unmanageable and horrible.

It is so much better in every way to not drink at all.

KChance

I appreciate the thoughts and encouragement. Some are saying that giving it up completely is the only way while others say it is atleast worth it to try moderation. I think I owe it to myself to atleast try getting back to moderation. Now I just have to figure out a plan to do that. I need something else that suppresses the emotions.

DarkDays

Moderating is like death by a 1000 cuts, well for someone with drink issues it is. Obsessing/planning and the worst symptom never ever feeling satisfied , yuk,

Stop completely , forever.

It is so liberating, the freedom can be exhilarating .

And cool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uecxaJSnE_4

fini

I need something else that suppresses the emotions.

KC,
interesting observation.
so that's what your drinking is "for"?

what are your thoughts on learning to be with the emotions, letting them be, or learning to redirect them instead of supressing?

doggonecarl

Owe it to yourself? Or your addiction? The fact that you cling to drinking should tell you something.

Unfortunately, it's not telling you it's time to stop.

MiniBK

I can't drink less, it's all or nothing. Right now nothing is so much better. With nothing I have everything!!

ru12

If you want to moderate then try. Look up what "healthy" drinking is and follow the limits. You will know very fast if you can do so. Even if you can, are you happy drinking that way? I find sobriety liberating. It is just easier than all the fuss with counting drinks...

PurpleKnight

I tried and failed for over a year, things would spiral as bad as ever eventually!!

The solution for myself was parting ways with alcohol on a permanent basis!!

least

I tried so many times to drink "normally" but always failed. Now I find it's easier to just not drink at all. And I'm a lot happier and better off living sober.

biminiblue

That thing about "managing emotions"?

Yeah. Well, what do you suppose people do about that when they don't drink?

The unspoken paradox is that I could not manage my emotions until I quit. The drink may have stuffed them down for a couple hours a day, but then they came back a thousand fold.

There are other ways to deal with the past and the future. Fear is no way to live.

barefootjunker

lol, moderation.... what the heck is that... I have always drank to get drunk, in my alcoholic mind it is the only point in drinking. I can't even think of one time I tried to moderate unless i was out of money to buy more, that don't work either as ya gotta pound them fast to get a buzz if you don't have enough to do the job right.

Myself to even think about the act of moderation is a death sentence. I know I won't stop till I am face down wherever my blacked out mind took me when drinking. Last time it was in a jail cell for hitting my girlfriend which even now 32 days later I can't recall at all. That is not who i am, or anything like who i want to be. But to entertain thoughts of moderation will only lead me back to that dark place where my actions are not me.

So can you moderate your drinking? Not a soul here can answer that question for you, those that are here with some decent sober time know they cannot as long as the alcoholism isn't talking. Cunning, baffling, and powerful is what it is.

andyroo72

For me, moderation doesn't make any kind of sense. Why would I want to moderate? The whole point of drinking is to get as high as possible in as short a time as possible, pretty much. I guess if you're happy with the buzz you get off a single drink, then fine. But I'm not like that, I'm only truly satisfied with the buzz of oblivion.

I guess that's why I don't drink at all :=] Seriously, I just wonder if moderation was what you wanted, wouldn't you be doing it without thinking about it? It would just sortof happen, like it seems to for some people. Sorry, if I'm jumping the gun there. Take care.

KChance

Yesterday was better, only had 1 drink all day. This was partly made possibly since I spent most of the day out of the house. The hardest days are when I am home all day lately, like today.

Dee74

I was scared of emotions. Terrified.

But I found a real freedom in being able to face them, and experience them, without trying to damp them down and numb them out with alcohol.

It helped me grow and become a real person again.

it was uncomfortable in the beginning, sure but the fear of facing my feelings was much greater than the experience itself.

D

FeenixxRising

I've tried to moderate far too many times. I was unable to do so for any period of time. Like Dee mentioned earlier, there seems to be a line that once crossed disables one's ability to moderate.

I'm not fond of cliches, but there's one that's often repeated around recovery groups: once you become a pickle, you can't go back to be a cucumber.