SoberLife2014

I have a few thoughts...

First of all, I understand that you're trying to help other people, but I think this thread would have been taken a lot better if you would have said something more to the effect of "I drank. It wasn't worth it. I've made the decision not to drink again. You guys aren't missing much" But you didn't... you hinted that you actually enjoyed some of it. Sorry to analyze your post but it's there. You did it. Not only that but you're planning on drinking AGAIN. mpr, whether you meant to or not you're coming off as rubbing it in everyone else's face that you 'think' you moderated successfully and while we're not missing much, well... since you're so different you will go on to enjoy the pleasures of moderate drinking. It's like going on the eating disorders page and telling people you ate a donut... but it wasn't great... "may I have another please?". Perhaps the 7 years of sobriety, or the fact that you supposedly up and quit on your own, made you insensitive to the fact that there are people on here who are barely clinging to their sobriety. Some of them drank yesterday and they KNOW what it's like to drink. Yet here you are.... "I can take it or leave it".... congratulations.

Secondly, this whole thing is ridiculous. It's JUST alcohol. I don't understand why it's so important to you to have a drink when you could easily go without it. You're playing with fire over something so trivial. I know you think you're different from everyone else because of this and that and the other but at the end of the day it's silliness. I'm just not sure what part of you feels the need to incorporate something so potentially dangerous into your life (whether you see it or not). If you EVER had a problem with alcohol, I say put it down and walk away. There is absolutely no point whatsoever to ever going near the stuff again. You can live a very good life without it! A lot of people do!

It's your life though, and no one can tell you differently. You've made that abundantly clear. I'm sorry to be so harsh and I rarely post harsh things, but these are things that really stand out to me. Perhaps bouncing these things off of you are just helping me. Hopefully, it's helping other people. mpr I wish the best for you. I truly do. I was really hoping that you would drink and see that it really isn't worth it, but since you've decided to continue on with it, well... I hope everything goes well for you. You've chosen not to heed anyone's advice. Many people on here have stated that it all starts out just the way you're describing, but you're completely ignoring it. Good luck.

RobbyRobot

We don't shoot are wounded, and this practical philosophy allows for you to share your drinking experiences, mpr. You have shared you quit for 7 years. Now you've drank a few. You've shared you're meh about it. Didn't really like, you don't advocate it, and you nonetheless share you'll likely drink again. Are you a kind of guy who offers a "do what you say and not what you do" kind of thing?

Reading your shares, and your responses to others, it's not surprising you've had a few, mpr. Your efforts to make it as if you just casually had a few and it wasn't to your liking are lost on me anyways.

It also won't be surprising when you have a few more. Who quits for 7 years and then just causally picks up? Alcoholics do, yeah?

Its interesting how people wish you luck in your drinking, as if you're being smarter now than you were when you quit for 7 years. I don't wish people luck when I know they've already run out of luck chasing down that next drink, you know?

I do however wish you an early return to sobriety, and hopefully to a sobriety that is worth staying sober for too.

Your having a few and or drinking doesn't offend me, your ambivalent postings don't either. There are plenty of posters who are confused about their own drinking, its just as obvious in their shares as they justify themselves. To my way of thinking, you're no different as a drinker in your own personal reasons, except you obviously don't share you're in dire straits with your recently having a few, like you did in your original 7 year thread. You now claim you're of a sound mind and without angst for your present actions.

Nonetheless, I do understand and strongly support those who are offended by your (in my opinion) disingenuous postings. I mean, your being supported by SR, and so they some how shouldn't be as well supported simply because they are offended? On a sober recovery site no less? Since you're sharing your drinking experiences, I'm sure others can share their opinions, and do so without feeling they are raining on your experiences, yeah?

anattaboy

Great! Do it for a month and you are a successful moderator. There is a site devoted to this. They're big on having a plan as well. Me? I'm happy for anyone who can wrangle addiction at whatever stage and any way they can. I'm pro-moderation for those that can do it--it's just not for me.

ru12

Me too. Moderation works for lots of people... I'm just not one of those. I'm just fortunate that I don't feel the need to dance with alcohol again. Too much dMn work for peanuts.

dwtbd

You spend time posting about contemplating drinking on a sobriety forum. You state you went out and bought twice as much alcohol than you used to consume in one sitting. About twenty or more times needed to make even a large batch of bbq sauce. Report you had nothing other than mild negative effects from drinking what you consider a moderate amount, but see no reason to not drink in the future , plan to drink in the future for "enjoyment" , people point this out and you see it as bashing. Did I miss something?

Low

Moderating successfully one time and feeling "meh" about it means nothing. It's just a trap our alcoholic mind plays on us...."see, I did it and I'm fine, no big deal and I didn't even like it " ! Oh boy, are you in for quite a ride.

Soberpotamus

My only thought after reading through the thread, question for the OP: Why exactly do you think you want to drink again at some point?

2muchpain

No, I think you got it right!!!! Personally, I think there's more going on here with mpr than he is sharing. Nobody, and I mean nobody with any long-term sobriety would buy this story, not even mpr.
These are the kind of posts that someone fairly new to sobriety would post, IMHO. Something is missing. It couldn't be more obvious, even to someone like me that has no where near 7 years sobriety. John

dwtbd

If you feel you can be or are a " normal, moderate, non problematic drinker", a person with whom the positive aspects of drinking outweigh any , if at all, negative aspects , well I suppose I would be "happy for you"(?), certainly would not wish you ill will because of it.
But at the same time I do not see why you would be surprised at the reactions of the members of this forum toward your posts.
The amount of time and mental energy you seem to exert on the question of alcohol use just seems to be not in line with what I think is a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol use.
If you are "fine with the whole thing" , great, but I would question your motivation for participation on this and similar forums, if that were truly the case.
Leave the bourbon, take the movie ticket

RecklessEric

I suppose I'm somewhere in the middle on this.
I've tried moderation and ended up in bad shape.
I don't intend to try it again.
Maybe if I tried 20 times, I'd manage to figure out.
But within those 20 times, I'd lose my family.

But if someone can do it, good luck to them.
I wouldn't say it can't work.

As for the wisdom in postingabout it here, I'm not sure.
The idea, as I understand it, of this site is mutual support.
And I support mpr in trying something out if s/he feels they will benefit from it.
I in no way am absolutist when it comes to advocating abstinence.
But I think there has to be some awareness of the fact that there are people who could read the op and try having three drinks and end up in all sorts of trouble.

And reading back over mpr's posts, I get the impression that s/he was not struggling with sobriety but almost complacent about it.

On balance, I think the wellbeing of all members should be a consideration when we post and I think the risk of somebody who is vulnerable and teetering between drinking and not drinking being influenced to do something they shouldn't would lead to me think the op is inappropriate for a sobriety site. I don't mean a post in general about trying moderation but specifically the op here.

courage2

I haven't read through all this thread -- just the first page, the OP, some random responses.

I currently have no interest in moderation. It's not the drink that will get to me first, it's the thinking. I might be able to control the drinking for a while or not -- I was a maintenance drinker for a long, long time before I spun out of control for the last time. But I know the thinking is pure poison to my life.

The only things I'd ask mpr: how much are you thinking about drinking now? And is it making you happier to have that kind of thinking back in your life?

Ionray

This is all I needed to see. Normal drinkers don't plan and set rules and limits to their intake. Nor do they go on alcoholism recovery forums posting about it in such great detail. All the rest is just classic AV nonsense.

countrygirl2014

You put my relapse into words here. This is exactly true, then whammo!!!! On your ass drunk before you can blink an eye.

countrygirl2014

I don't know much about sobriety, I am new yet. But why would you toss away something you worked so hard at? I am tried desperately to get 7 days, and you don't want your 7 years anymore? If your body doesn't need it to survive, why bother risking it? Can't you enjoy some tea at home or something? You are putting your head in the mousetrap again and it's only a matter of time before it snaps. I need to remember you because I want to see what happens to "moderation" of an addictive substance one or two years down the pike when you have already had an issue before. I am not at all trying to sound rude, I just...well...I would give my right arm for 7 years of my life back.

Low

Alcoholism is a disease of the mind, coupled with a allergy of the body. It is not unusual for us to pick up a drink after 7 weeks, 7 months or 7 years if we aren't paying attention. The subtle thoughts start that after all this time, it would probably be ok if we took a drink. That one thought opens many doors, if one allows it blossom and lets the alcoholic thinking back in, one doesn't stand a chance. And in this case which is also very common, the first few times one drinks is usually a "success".. again, I view it a trap, the alcohol wants you back, it will gain your trust, throw you into denial, and before you know it, back to the living hell....One must always stay vigilant, even after the obsession is lifted.

Fly N Buy

I commend honesty in posts that are not self seeking nor simply trying to garner attention. This a recovery website and even / maybe especially the dark places should be openly discussed with ESH mentality. I don't agree with da booze at this point in my life, or I should say, it doesn't agree with me - but understand the warning you are attempting to communicate, sort of.

Me -
So let's invert the words sober and drink. Let's play they mean the opposite in this post;

I decided after awhile drunk it would be ok to have a few sobers. I stopped and got a bottle of my favorite sober fluid and would stop at 3-4 sobers for sure. That night, I had few sobers, and really didn't care for them that much. Made me feel weird and I knew if I had more I'd feel (un)great!

Hmmmm, maybe another time I will have a few more sobers, I have some at the house right now. It's my choice, right? But, for today I am drunk. Tomorrow we'll see....but no sobers for Fly tonight - take it from me, it doesn't feel good.


For me alcohol always turns things upside down, I agree with you!
peace

WritingFromLife

I don't know if this will make any sense at all, and I am certainly not trying to bash anyone--I remember a SR member years ago substituting "broccoli" for "alcohol" in his posts, when he contemplated drinking again. It sheds light on the obsession (in my case, anyway!) MPR I DO believe you had good intentions posting--to me it was as if you were saying "What I said before? Don't do it. It isn't worth it." I also understand why others are saying if that's true, why not just take alcohol off the table? Cunning sucker that it is. I wish you the VERY best!!!

ScottFromWI

So basically you are saying that you aren't an alcoholic then, correct?

mpr

Not saying that, who knows what label I am, alcoholic, problem drinker etc doesn't matter really.

I have to refrain from saying some things as this is not the correct venue to do so. I said what I intended to say in this thread already.

aborkie

In hindsight I can honestly say I never enjoyed drinks 4-10, but I always enjoyed the first few.