DoubleDragons

My mother is still a very active alcoholic and my sister and I always remark how much she acts like a spoiled brat teenaged girl.

SoberCAH

For me, sobering up has been about growing up.

My emotional learning curve and general maturation process were, no doubt, suspended in times during the period in which I drank and used.

Mountainmanbob

Working on keeping my mouth shut more often. Seems that I would be better with this at my age. Never too late I guess. Much harder when I was drinking. More character defects being revealed.

Just for today -- let's spare others around me a few unnecessary words spoken.

Have I ever noticed how too many of those (unnecessary words) lead to gossip in time ??

MM

ESD907

I guess facts are facts. can't dispute them can you?

IOAA2

I can relate in some ways to this day regarding immaturity. At times, with no good reason I feel a sort of undisciplined wave come into my thinking and wonder where that came from. Sort of like mini burst of road rage. Fortunately it soon passes but it bothers me it’s still below the surface after a lot of sober time.

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob

did booze slow this up -- the maturing process ??

it didn't just slow it up
it tore it up

trying hard to learn things at the age of 63
that I think that I should have known before the age of 40
if I would not have been drinking so much

MM

Arbor

Absolutely. Always felt that drinking kept me stagnant. Was just existing getting through each day with no purpose. A terrible way to live your life.

Dee74

I think it did...but I also don't think it needs to be a permanent thing.

I was a 40 year old teenager, but it was a pretty quick and steep learning curve on 'being An Adult' after I sobered up.

I certainly don't feel any less mature than anyone else nowadays

D

Mountainmanbob

I agree with that statement Dee,
yet there is this battle inside of me.

Maybe at times I'm thinking that the long term booze and other things in which I did are still causing me problems. But, yet these things that I'm working on so as to change may just be common to man (and woman). As we keep changing for the better until the day in which we die. Kind of a filtering process. Or being refined such as one removes the slag from molten metal. Or some may call it a sanctification process.

That would be my goal. To be rid of the unwanted character flaws.

Good sober day wished for all,
Bob

iggy24

i heard of this theory in abused children...how did it get to substance abuse?..and what if you started abusing in your 30's? i think maybe like a time warp or lost time.

tomsteve

I remember early hearing an alcoholic stops growing mentally and emotionally when they take their first drink.
For me I would have to agree. Although 36 when I got sober, inside I felt 13 ish.
Not sure about the age thing that can make some days hard/ difficult.im 47, been sober since April 05 and I still have some days I feel out of place.mbut I'll take it. Better than days in a mental/emotional coma.
MM, had an experience with my sponsor about 5 years ago. Called him on my anniversary to say I made it anther year. He said,"good, but don't expect any kudos from me for doin something yu should have been doing all your life."
Yeah, he's a *****, but I love him.
It's a journey for me now. Ups and downs but I'll take it all over one drink.

anattaboy

Yes, the alcohol muddies social cues and coping strategies that most learned in early adulthood but like Dee said, once sober being an adult comes quickly. As for defects of character: If I have a defective phone, car or food product, I return it and get a refund from the company. If I got it from a friend or craigslist at a steal, I throw item away and call it a loss.

Mountainmanbob

That kind of reminds me of my Good Old Boy Sponsor tomsteve. I think that my Sponsor tries his best to not blow smoke up my tailpipe. Probably a good thing because MM likes to be stroked at times. As I sit here today wondering why ?

My Sponsor (yet another Bob) (Big Book Bob) has shared with me many times that "it is about what we do or don't do." Sounds so simple yet today it makes great uncommon sense. As you say there should be no credit given for the things in which we do right. Yet, I had better keep an eye on myself and not deceive myself into doing wrong.

No strokes needed -- just keep trying to do the right thing -- One Day At A Time

MM