did booze slow this up -- the maturing process
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
did booze slow this up -- the maturing process
63 years old and 6 years sober
and it seems that I'm just now maturing mentally and spiritually
did drinking all of my life slow the maturing process ??
kind of really just never growing up ??
sure seems that it did
guess that I could say better late than never
because if I was drinking today I would not have a clue
learning that I have to let go of some old ideas
there are plenty of them it seems
how messed up was my thinking while drinking ??
pretty messed up as I look back
Mountainman
and it seems that I'm just now maturing mentally and spiritually
did drinking all of my life slow the maturing process ??
kind of really just never growing up ??
sure seems that it did
guess that I could say better late than never
because if I was drinking today I would not have a clue
learning that I have to let go of some old ideas
there are plenty of them it seems
how messed up was my thinking while drinking ??
pretty messed up as I look back
Mountainman
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
This is exactly how I feel. We are Close to the same age and length of sobriety 58 /5.
I keep asking myself the same question. If I am not who I was then who the hell am I? This whole growing up thing is painful and rewarding at the same time.
Just babbling but I can relate
I keep asking myself the same question. If I am not who I was then who the hell am I? This whole growing up thing is painful and rewarding at the same time.
Just babbling but I can relate
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I see my character defects easier the longer I've been sober.
It's given me attitude of how important is it? That goes along with we wil cease fighting anyone or anything on page 84 of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous .
It's given me attitude of how important is it? That goes along with we wil cease fighting anyone or anything on page 84 of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous .
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Berwick
Posts: 128
There is medical / scientific evidence that suggests exactly this.
Alcohol slows the emotional maturity process.
Unfortunately for us alcoholic folk, we present physically as full grown, mature adults. So the normal societal default is to treat us as such.
There is a talk on the Xa speakers website by a guy called Wayne B.
He outlines the emotions and mental maturity state of the alcoholic personality beautifully.
His talk, helped me to recognise the type of thinking that I run on.
Very worth a listen.
Hard to swallow at first, the truth can be hard to swallow.
Alcohol slows the emotional maturity process.
Unfortunately for us alcoholic folk, we present physically as full grown, mature adults. So the normal societal default is to treat us as such.
There is a talk on the Xa speakers website by a guy called Wayne B.
He outlines the emotions and mental maturity state of the alcoholic personality beautifully.
His talk, helped me to recognise the type of thinking that I run on.
Very worth a listen.
Hard to swallow at first, the truth can be hard to swallow.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 
we wil cease fighting anyone or anything on page 84 of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous .
And was thinking to myself
That exact quote from the Big Book
The fight is over my brother
We have come in from the war
MM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Why would you ever wanna grow up? 
what got me about how messed up my thinking was back when i drank was even in my sober hours my thinking was borderline insane. Even when i thought i was of a sober clear mind i was not. I think thats something most people dont realize. people seem to think there only screwed with there thinking while drunk when they drink the reality is there pretty screwed up in there sober moments as well least I know i sure was.
I wanna say it was a month or 2 into sobriety that all the sudden i got hit with a flood of RATIONAL thoughts they came fast and furious it was as if my mind was cleaning up all the BS from the past drunken years. I started to get some clarity as that fog lifted.
I know what you mean about growing up if you wanna mature some good but just dont get old. Because you might mature or get wiser etc.. but your never to old for nothing!
how messed up was my thinking while drinking ??
pretty messed up as I look back
pretty messed up as I look back
I wanna say it was a month or 2 into sobriety that all the sudden i got hit with a flood of RATIONAL thoughts they came fast and furious it was as if my mind was cleaning up all the BS from the past drunken years. I started to get some clarity as that fog lifted.
I know what you mean about growing up if you wanna mature some good but just dont get old. Because you might mature or get wiser etc.. but your never to old for nothing!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I have come to find that I am less serious and more fun loving now that I am sober. Not to many things bother me anymore. I can just seem to go with the flow most of the time.
I vaguely remember being that way as a kid but once I got into the world and began drinking it always felt like I was under pressure. That I had to be grown up. That I had to be serious all the time. No playing and being silly just for the sake of it.
Now I feel like skipping, dancing, laughing and for no good reason. I feel younger now then I did at 30 but with some wisdom. Not a lot, but some.
Going through hell and escaping just made me see all the wonder of life rather then being cynical as I see so many others my age that never drank seem to carry around. They grumble and moan while I am smiling and fairly carefree.
I realize today that I do not have to take on any problems, issues or responsibilities that are not mine to own. That is a pretty wise and free attitude, at least it works for me.
I vaguely remember being that way as a kid but once I got into the world and began drinking it always felt like I was under pressure. That I had to be grown up. That I had to be serious all the time. No playing and being silly just for the sake of it.
Now I feel like skipping, dancing, laughing and for no good reason. I feel younger now then I did at 30 but with some wisdom. Not a lot, but some.
Going through hell and escaping just made me see all the wonder of life rather then being cynical as I see so many others my age that never drank seem to carry around. They grumble and moan while I am smiling and fairly carefree.
I realize today that I do not have to take on any problems, issues or responsibilities that are not mine to own. That is a pretty wise and free attitude, at least it works for me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
guess that we didn't really care or didn't really know all of the effects
Alcohol and the Developing Brain
Alcohol can cause alterations in the structure and function of the developing brain, which continues to mature into a person’s mid 20s, and it may have consequences reaching far beyond adolescence.
In adolescence, brain development is characterized by dramatic changes to the brain’s structure, neuron connectivity (i.e., “wiring”), and physiology. These changes in the brain affect everything from emerging sexuality to emotionality and judgment.
Not all parts of the adolescent brain mature at the same time, which may put an adolescent at a disadvantage in certain situations. For example, the limbic areas of the brain mature earlier than the frontal lobes. The limbic areas regulate emotions and are associated with an adolescent’s lowered sensitivity to risk. The frontal lobes are responsible for self-regulation, judgment, reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control. Differences in maturation among parts of the brain can result in impulsive decisions or actions and a disregard for consequences.
How Alcohol Affects the Brain
Alcohol affects an adolescent’s brain development in many ways. The effects of underage drinking on specific brain activities are explained below.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. Alcohol can appear to be a stimulant because, initially, it depresses the part of the brain that controls inhibitions.
CEREBRAL CORTEX—Alcohol slows down the cerebral cortex as it works with information from a person’s senses.
CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM—When a person thinks of something he wants his body to do, the central nervous system—the brain and the spinal cord—sends a signal to that part of the body. Alcohol slows down the central nervous system, making the person think, speak, and move slower.
FRONTAL LOBES—The brain’s frontal lobes are important for planning, forming ideas, making decisions, and using self-control.
When alcohol affects the frontal lobes of the brain, a person may find it hard to control his or her emotions and urges. The person may act without thinking or may even become violent.
Drinking alcohol over a long period of time can damage the frontal lobes forever.
HIPPOCAMPUS—The hippocampus is the part of the brain where memories are made.
When alcohol reaches the hippocampus, a person may have trouble remembering something he or she just learned, such as a name or a phone number. This can happen after just one or two drinks.
Drinking a lot of alcohol quickly can cause a blackout—not being able to remember entire events, such as what he or she did last night.
If alcohol damages the hippocampus, a person may find it hard to learn and to hold on to knowledge.
CEREBELLUM—The cerebellum is important for coordination, thoughts, and awareness. A person may have trouble with these skills when alcohol enters the cerebellum. After drinking alcohol, a person’s hands may be so shaky that they can’t touch or grab things normally, and they may lose their balance and fall.
HYPOTHALAMUS—The hypothalamus is a small part of the brain that does an amazing number of the body’s housekeeping chores. Alcohol upsets the work of the hypothalamus. After a person drinks alcohol, blood pressure, hunger, thirst, and the urge to urinate increase while body temperature and heart rate decrease.
MEDULLA—The medulla controls the body’s automatic actions, such as a person’s heartbeat. It also keeps the body at the right temperature. Alcohol actually chills the body. Drinking a lot of alcohol outdoors in cold weather can cause a person’s body temperature to fall below normal. This dangerous condition is called hypothermia.
Sources
Office of the Surgeon General. (2007). The Surgeon General’s Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking (PDF 1.41MB) Rockville, MD: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Office of the Surgeon General. (2007). The Surgeon General’s Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking: A Guide for Families (PDF 900KB) Rockville, MD: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Reach Out Now Teach-In Lesson Plan.
Alcohol can cause alterations in the structure and function of the developing brain, which continues to mature into a person’s mid 20s, and it may have consequences reaching far beyond adolescence.
In adolescence, brain development is characterized by dramatic changes to the brain’s structure, neuron connectivity (i.e., “wiring”), and physiology. These changes in the brain affect everything from emerging sexuality to emotionality and judgment.
Not all parts of the adolescent brain mature at the same time, which may put an adolescent at a disadvantage in certain situations. For example, the limbic areas of the brain mature earlier than the frontal lobes. The limbic areas regulate emotions and are associated with an adolescent’s lowered sensitivity to risk. The frontal lobes are responsible for self-regulation, judgment, reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control. Differences in maturation among parts of the brain can result in impulsive decisions or actions and a disregard for consequences.
How Alcohol Affects the Brain
Alcohol affects an adolescent’s brain development in many ways. The effects of underage drinking on specific brain activities are explained below.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. Alcohol can appear to be a stimulant because, initially, it depresses the part of the brain that controls inhibitions.
CEREBRAL CORTEX—Alcohol slows down the cerebral cortex as it works with information from a person’s senses.
CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM—When a person thinks of something he wants his body to do, the central nervous system—the brain and the spinal cord—sends a signal to that part of the body. Alcohol slows down the central nervous system, making the person think, speak, and move slower.
FRONTAL LOBES—The brain’s frontal lobes are important for planning, forming ideas, making decisions, and using self-control.
When alcohol affects the frontal lobes of the brain, a person may find it hard to control his or her emotions and urges. The person may act without thinking or may even become violent.
Drinking alcohol over a long period of time can damage the frontal lobes forever.
HIPPOCAMPUS—The hippocampus is the part of the brain where memories are made.
When alcohol reaches the hippocampus, a person may have trouble remembering something he or she just learned, such as a name or a phone number. This can happen after just one or two drinks.
Drinking a lot of alcohol quickly can cause a blackout—not being able to remember entire events, such as what he or she did last night.
If alcohol damages the hippocampus, a person may find it hard to learn and to hold on to knowledge.
CEREBELLUM—The cerebellum is important for coordination, thoughts, and awareness. A person may have trouble with these skills when alcohol enters the cerebellum. After drinking alcohol, a person’s hands may be so shaky that they can’t touch or grab things normally, and they may lose their balance and fall.
HYPOTHALAMUS—The hypothalamus is a small part of the brain that does an amazing number of the body’s housekeeping chores. Alcohol upsets the work of the hypothalamus. After a person drinks alcohol, blood pressure, hunger, thirst, and the urge to urinate increase while body temperature and heart rate decrease.
MEDULLA—The medulla controls the body’s automatic actions, such as a person’s heartbeat. It also keeps the body at the right temperature. Alcohol actually chills the body. Drinking a lot of alcohol outdoors in cold weather can cause a person’s body temperature to fall below normal. This dangerous condition is called hypothermia.
Sources
Office of the Surgeon General. (2007). The Surgeon General’s Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking (PDF 1.41MB) Rockville, MD: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Office of the Surgeon General. (2007). The Surgeon General’s Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking: A Guide for Families (PDF 900KB) Rockville, MD: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Reach Out Now Teach-In Lesson Plan.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
No, my most significant growth, as a Human Being (whatever anyone would like to call it: maturity? spirituality? ... I just call it growth as a Human Being) occurred in my early 40s. In fact, I would credit that growth as playing a major role in the ease of becoming a non drinker, at age 51.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 780
I drank heavily (all waking hours....over a case of beer a day...and this from a 5'3" female) from age 16 to age 25, when I almost died and quit for a while. I was VERY behind in maturity. I remember feeling exactly that way....that I was left behind in the maturity department....as if I'd been in a time warp for 10 years.
I picked up the drink again (not at the same level, but still too much), and I think that stunted my growth even more.
I picked up the drink again (not at the same level, but still too much), and I think that stunted my growth even more.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 314
I'm relatively new to this sobriety thing (almost 11 months) and I have been pondering this very topic.
Its not so much that I see myself lacking maturity (tho perhaps I do), but rather I'm seeing how messed up certain parts of my thinking had become. Not just in regards to drinking, but in a much broader way.
I really didn't understand this pattern until I was sober for a while. I was so burdened with these crazy stories about myself, and others. As I work on these stories I am beginning to feel free, and much more stable. Now that I write that maybe it's maturity after all...
Its not so much that I see myself lacking maturity (tho perhaps I do), but rather I'm seeing how messed up certain parts of my thinking had become. Not just in regards to drinking, but in a much broader way.
I really didn't understand this pattern until I was sober for a while. I was so burdened with these crazy stories about myself, and others. As I work on these stories I am beginning to feel free, and much more stable. Now that I write that maybe it's maturity after all...
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Mental emotional and spiritual cripple is what my drinking made me. I heard on the radio the other day that the action of alcohol on teenage brains is very detrimental. Less gray matter, more white matter but actually maturity is advanced.
I don't think they meant maturity in the emotional sense, more in the sense of increased sexual activity and perhaps a desire to mix with elders instead of peers. This fits quite well with my experience.
However, when I stopped drinking and began experiencing actual feelings, I had a lot of growing to do.
I don't think they meant maturity in the emotional sense, more in the sense of increased sexual activity and perhaps a desire to mix with elders instead of peers. This fits quite well with my experience.
However, when I stopped drinking and began experiencing actual feelings, I had a lot of growing to do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 29
I'm 51 now, drinking for ages and I think my brain stopped developing in the teen years. Honestly, I relate to my kids quite easily. Not sure I can even be an adult - far more comfortable as a teen. A bit scary, that is.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by SonomaGal
I'm seeing how messed up certain parts of my thinking had become
My sponsor over and over again over the years has stressed the point to me that "we had to let go of some old ideas."
Mountainman
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 174
for me this is 100% accurate. I am 11 months sober and this has been my most productive year in my short 33 years on this planet. I have started 2 new online businesses along with my regular day job. Have more money in my saving than any other point in my life. I am doing the things adults are suppose to do and with tons of vigor and energy. My days are full from early morning till night. Drinking saps the life out of you and destroys all motivation to be a productive person. I have matured light years in the past 11 months, so glad i made this decision early in my life because i was beginning to think i was just a lazy worthless person but in reality it was the alcohol that was doing it to me. Here's to my new life!! Getting up in the morning has never been so enjoyable.
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