Were you destined to become alcoholic?
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Were you destined to become alcoholic?
I think about this often. I realize there are many types. Those who have that suseptiblity at birth, and those that simply enjoy it, turn it to habit, have it too much, etc.
My dad was alcoholic. As was his Dad. Thats as long back as I know. Dads siblings were not. My siblings (6), Only 1 went through something (his wife shared) but he simply cut back. HE I hate to say it, moderates, but he never got out of control (like me). HE has a 2 drink limit, come hell or high water and has now for 20 years. But he is well aware he does have alcoholic in him, he doesnt want to get there. enough about him.
I had my 1st beer at 14. I was a dopey pretty immature 14. Went to HS and met some kids who said do you wanna come drinking Fri night. I was still going home playing barbie. But, peer pressure, not wanting to be a 'kid'. I went. They did it like this, stood outside a store and someone bought it for us. We each had 2 beers, I remember the brand even. I didn't like it, but I now had friends who were cool. So every friday we'd do this dance, sometimes a quart bottle at the golf course or by the beach. Never drank that much. Than around 16 I found boones farm, was I think like $1.50 a bottle? 2 of us split bottle. I LOVED the way it felt. We did this every friday.. Working up to a bottle each. (there were 4 of us girls) At about this time I also found I liked to work out at a gym. So I didn't like having the spins and tossing into my turntable lid the next a.m...so I stopped. I also realized, I like this more than 'them'. I really loved it. So I drank here and there in HS, we were able to go barhopping in 11th and 12th grade, fake id's. Had a ball.. But still thought I like this alot. Anyway, Graduation, go to grandmas for the summer, NO drinking at all, and no problem. Start college, rarely drank. But when I did, watch out. I"d drink anything. Beer, tequilla. Long Island tea, quicker drunk. Again, I was different that most. So I laid off. Anyway. I think from my 1st taste of that wine, I was sunk and I always knew some day I'd be facing addiction. anyone else? perhaps in a different way? maybe a family of alcys? Or just having it around so much? I'm curious if I"m alone in this feeling.
My dad was alcoholic. As was his Dad. Thats as long back as I know. Dads siblings were not. My siblings (6), Only 1 went through something (his wife shared) but he simply cut back. HE I hate to say it, moderates, but he never got out of control (like me). HE has a 2 drink limit, come hell or high water and has now for 20 years. But he is well aware he does have alcoholic in him, he doesnt want to get there. enough about him.
I had my 1st beer at 14. I was a dopey pretty immature 14. Went to HS and met some kids who said do you wanna come drinking Fri night. I was still going home playing barbie. But, peer pressure, not wanting to be a 'kid'. I went. They did it like this, stood outside a store and someone bought it for us. We each had 2 beers, I remember the brand even. I didn't like it, but I now had friends who were cool. So every friday we'd do this dance, sometimes a quart bottle at the golf course or by the beach. Never drank that much. Than around 16 I found boones farm, was I think like $1.50 a bottle? 2 of us split bottle. I LOVED the way it felt. We did this every friday.. Working up to a bottle each. (there were 4 of us girls) At about this time I also found I liked to work out at a gym. So I didn't like having the spins and tossing into my turntable lid the next a.m...so I stopped. I also realized, I like this more than 'them'. I really loved it. So I drank here and there in HS, we were able to go barhopping in 11th and 12th grade, fake id's. Had a ball.. But still thought I like this alot. Anyway, Graduation, go to grandmas for the summer, NO drinking at all, and no problem. Start college, rarely drank. But when I did, watch out. I"d drink anything. Beer, tequilla. Long Island tea, quicker drunk. Again, I was different that most. So I laid off. Anyway. I think from my 1st taste of that wine, I was sunk and I always knew some day I'd be facing addiction. anyone else? perhaps in a different way? maybe a family of alcys? Or just having it around so much? I'm curious if I"m alone in this feeling.
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Originally Posted by Coldfusion 
Is it destiny or a self-fulfilling prophecy?
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I grew up in an alcoholic household and swore that I'd never drink. Then I went off to university and discovered I *loved* to drink (and try the smörgåsbord of other fine substances). And there were so many other partyers to hang out with, too!
I wish to heaven that I could go back and do it over again, but this time without the booze. I'd be a far different person.
I wish to heaven that I could go back and do it over again, but this time without the booze. I'd be a far different person.
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A family of alkies? How do you figure that? Your dad was the only one in his family, and you are the only one in yours. What about your grandma's family, or your mom's? Since you didn't mention them, I gather that there is no history of alcoholism there.
I doubt you are the only one who feels that they are genetically destined to have an addiction problem given a similar family history which appears to be almost free of addiction. I guess I don't see why you would come to this decision. More importantly, I am not sure how you might find this helpful.
One way or another, this issue is yours and yours alone. You are not sunk. Believing in yourself and your ability to make important life changes is essential.
I doubt you are the only one who feels that they are genetically destined to have an addiction problem given a similar family history which appears to be almost free of addiction. I guess I don't see why you would come to this decision. More importantly, I am not sure how you might find this helpful.
One way or another, this issue is yours and yours alone. You are not sunk. Believing in yourself and your ability to make important life changes is essential.
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Some say its in the genetic DNA makeup, I would highly agree. Then again it can be a learned behaviour as well. Who really knows, I dont dwell on the matter, all I know is right now I am a straight up alcoholic. I take a drink, stuff happens, and I drink more and more and more stuff happens.
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Originally Posted by freshstart57
A family of alkies? How do you figure that? Your dad was the only one in his family, and you are the only one in yours. What about your grandma's family, or your mom's? Since you didn't mention them, I gather that there is no history of alcoholism there.
I doubt you are the only one who feels that they are genetically destined to have an addiction problem given a similar family history which appears to be almost free of addiction. I guess I don't see why you would come to this decision. More importantly, I am not sure how you might find this helpful.
One way or another, this issue is yours and yours alone. You are not sunk. Believing in yourself and your ability to make important life changes is essential.
I doubt you are the only one who feels that they are genetically destined to have an addiction problem given a similar family history which appears to be almost free of addiction. I guess I don't see why you would come to this decision. More importantly, I am not sure how you might find this helpful.
One way or another, this issue is yours and yours alone. You are not sunk. Believing in yourself and your ability to make important life changes is essential.
That's not what I said. Perhaps it wasn't clear to you. That was toward the end. The question was posed to others. I stated I only knew of 2
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I don't believe in destiny, predeterminism or determinism. Do I have the genetic and environmental amalgamation necessary to induce alcoholism. Probably so. There's also freedom of choice, will and desire to be sober.
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Brilliant topic !!!
I have always said you cannot be born alcoholic its a social conditioning thing
That being said I had a conversation with 1 of my sisters who I still speak to and she kinda said its like if a heroin addict is shooting up during pregnancy when the baby is born and this is quite common now the new born goes through withdrawl
My mum drank through 3 of her pregnancies I was one of the 3 so in that perspective of course you can be born alcoholic
If a sober alcoholic has a child does that child run a risk of alcoholism ? YES of course
Social conditioning plays a part but I mean all my uncles all my aunties my grandparents have this
At least 7 have died because of this
I have always said you cannot be born alcoholic its a social conditioning thing
That being said I had a conversation with 1 of my sisters who I still speak to and she kinda said its like if a heroin addict is shooting up during pregnancy when the baby is born and this is quite common now the new born goes through withdrawl
My mum drank through 3 of her pregnancies I was one of the 3 so in that perspective of course you can be born alcoholic
If a sober alcoholic has a child does that child run a risk of alcoholism ? YES of course
Social conditioning plays a part but I mean all my uncles all my aunties my grandparents have this
At least 7 have died because of this
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Interesting topic.
I could quite easily argue both ways. I'm from a family with no drug problems at all that I know of, everyone seems to be able to take it or leave it, except me!
The way I drank though was always different to everyone else. I never just had a social 'drink' with friends or family, there was always an agenda to my drinking, be it helping me to sleep (how I started), or lessening my anxiety or more recently just out of boredom.
My problem was always that it was never enough, I always wanted more...
I still remember swigging out of my parents spirits if I couldn't sleep when I was about 15 or so. Even at that age I really struggled with limits. Looking back now that was a huge alarm bell. When I finally got to legal drinking age all bets were off.
The truth is that at the end of the day I have always liked getting drunk that bit too much. Whether it was destiny or not, I'm not sure. If I'd started drinking under different circumstances I would be interested to know if the same outcome would have occurred...
I could quite easily argue both ways. I'm from a family with no drug problems at all that I know of, everyone seems to be able to take it or leave it, except me!
The way I drank though was always different to everyone else. I never just had a social 'drink' with friends or family, there was always an agenda to my drinking, be it helping me to sleep (how I started), or lessening my anxiety or more recently just out of boredom.
My problem was always that it was never enough, I always wanted more...
I still remember swigging out of my parents spirits if I couldn't sleep when I was about 15 or so. Even at that age I really struggled with limits. Looking back now that was a huge alarm bell. When I finally got to legal drinking age all bets were off.
The truth is that at the end of the day I have always liked getting drunk that bit too much. Whether it was destiny or not, I'm not sure. If I'd started drinking under different circumstances I would be interested to know if the same outcome would have occurred...
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I tend to subscribe to the disease model, but alcoholism (like any drug addiction) is indeed a complex mixture of thinking or attitudes, behaviors and biological factors. Humans are so wonderfully diverse inside that it isn't going to be the same mix for everyone. Some struggle with the physical addiction much more than others. Some have more will power than others. But all are addicted until we can find a way to bring it all together and live sober in all the ways the drug has affected our lives - mind, body and spirit. For me that started when I went into AA and said "Help!"
I too didn't start drinking until college, but when I did alcohol immediately became something incredibly important to me... if I didn't have that first drink I would still be an alcoholic I believe, but I would have been spared a lot of misery because I wouldn't have introduced the drug into my system and kicked off the heavy use.
Of course, that misery has been very beneficial to me! It has spurred a lot of personal growth (albeit through a lot of pain) in my life, but I wouldn't want it any other way now that I'm sober. I'm happy, joyous and free today and grateful every day for my sobriety. I still tell people I am "in recovery" in the present tense, because while I haven't had a drink in quite a while, I believe it's possible for some aspects of my sobriety to change, and I don't want to forget that this is a lifetime deal - I am an alcoholic whether I'm drinking or not.
I too didn't start drinking until college, but when I did alcohol immediately became something incredibly important to me... if I didn't have that first drink I would still be an alcoholic I believe, but I would have been spared a lot of misery because I wouldn't have introduced the drug into my system and kicked off the heavy use.
Of course, that misery has been very beneficial to me! It has spurred a lot of personal growth (albeit through a lot of pain) in my life, but I wouldn't want it any other way now that I'm sober. I'm happy, joyous and free today and grateful every day for my sobriety. I still tell people I am "in recovery" in the present tense, because while I haven't had a drink in quite a while, I believe it's possible for some aspects of my sobriety to change, and I don't want to forget that this is a lifetime deal - I am an alcoholic whether I'm drinking or not.
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I'm not a great believer in things being pre defined!!
Also my childhood contains 1 alcoholic parent and 1 parent who has been teetotal for life, my parents had 2 children, I had a problem with alcohol, my sibling is a normal drinker, so there's no real pattern to draw conclusions from!!
Environmental factors are then up for debate, as it was all a matter of luck as to what environmental factors I was subjected to in my first 25 years of growing up until I developed a drinking problem, a different environment could have created different results, there are too many variables for anything to be pre defined!!
Having pondered this question over many years, I still have very few answers about how I got to where I got to.
Thankfully I dealt with the issue and am moving forward, that's the main thing!!
Also my childhood contains 1 alcoholic parent and 1 parent who has been teetotal for life, my parents had 2 children, I had a problem with alcohol, my sibling is a normal drinker, so there's no real pattern to draw conclusions from!!
Environmental factors are then up for debate, as it was all a matter of luck as to what environmental factors I was subjected to in my first 25 years of growing up until I developed a drinking problem, a different environment could have created different results, there are too many variables for anything to be pre defined!!
Having pondered this question over many years, I still have very few answers about how I got to where I got to.
Thankfully I dealt with the issue and am moving forward, that's the main thing!!
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I think it is genetics and environment, maybe some other stuff thrown in for good measure ie. depression, trauma etc. Kind of the perfect storm for addiction. But our addiction is ours and ours alone. We just need to treat it and continue living in the now. Take care
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Ultimately, I think alcohol is a dangerous, highly addictive drug that harms everyone who drinks it. I just don't think that everyone loves the feeling that alcohol gives them, but those of us who do?!? Look out, we are headed to addiction. I LOVED the high and the "relief" alcohol gave to me, when I first started drinking in my early teens. In college, I was a blackout binge drinker. In my twenties, I didn't drink a lot because I was pregnant with my babies, but I went back to "party like a rockstar" when I was in my thirties with several embarrassing, dangerous, horrifying blackout instances to add to my already long list. In my late thirties/early forties, when facing some serious financial difficulties, is when I started drinking nightly and more secretively and by myself. I came from a family of heavy drinkers/alcoholics, so as long as I was "functioning", I didn't feel any shame about my drinking habits. I have always been a Type A person and I have a large family, so my feelings of responsibility kept me somewhat "in check." I mostly quit drinking because I watched my mother turn the tide into what I consider to be a "full blown" alcoholic (drinking in the mornings, showing up to family functions drunk) and that is when it hit me, that I was just not as far down the elevator as she has gone. I realized I had to quit while I still had any semblance of control.
So, to answer your question, I think there are a myriad of factors that turn us into addicts and alcohol is an addictive drug, so given the right circumstances, set of beliefs, social conditioning, etc, almost anyone could become an alcohol addict. I don't like the dopey/slow feeling that Vicodin or oxycodone gives to me. When I have had a toothache, I have taken one or two to get through the day, but then I easily have thrown the rest of the bottle away. If I were at a party and I was offered some, I could easily say no or take one to be "polite", but not really be interested in it. However, if I had a chronic painful illness and these things were the only medicine that gave me relief, and I took it habitually enough, I think I could be come addicted to it. I personally think this is the same with anybody and alcohol.
So, to answer your question, I think there are a myriad of factors that turn us into addicts and alcohol is an addictive drug, so given the right circumstances, set of beliefs, social conditioning, etc, almost anyone could become an alcohol addict. I don't like the dopey/slow feeling that Vicodin or oxycodone gives to me. When I have had a toothache, I have taken one or two to get through the day, but then I easily have thrown the rest of the bottle away. If I were at a party and I was offered some, I could easily say no or take one to be "polite", but not really be interested in it. However, if I had a chronic painful illness and these things were the only medicine that gave me relief, and I took it habitually enough, I think I could be come addicted to it. I personally think this is the same with anybody and alcohol.
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Here's a bit to masticate on - Mom told me one time I was conceived on New Years Eve - Neighbor stopped by late and awakened my folks she explained.
" to late to go back to sleep and to late to get up!" She stated.
So, not only I am scared from THAT, I was literally spawned of the booze!!!
Good topic - Booze was a constant in my home, as was love and kindness. But from young age having fun/pleasure (was equated ) and booze infused!
" to late to go back to sleep and to late to get up!" She stated.
So, not only I am scared from THAT, I was literally spawned of the booze!!!
Good topic - Booze was a constant in my home, as was love and kindness. But from young age having fun/pleasure (was equated ) and booze infused!
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Thanks for so many differing perspectives. I really love new ways of looking at this. I'd like to think if I knew how things would turn out is have never taken my 1 st sip. But I find that inconceivable. I always sort of thought I was born to be alcoholic. Not via DNA. Just me. That no matter my station in life I'd end up a drunk. But maybe not. Maybe if I was famous or uber wealthy or different career or different spouse. Maybe I wouldn't have. Perhaps too many variables to ever know for sure.
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my first drink was at the young age of 11, my brother had a birthday bash going on for his 18th and there was a punch bowl full of booze there,
i hif under the table and all that people could see was this hand pop up from under the table scooping up the booze
i got drunk, i went around kissing people and telling them i loved them, i was as sick as a pig and i can remember the purple sick
i also remember how i felt the next day, everyone else laughed it off as i was so young but me i was so ashamed of myself
little did i know that it was going to be the patten for me drinking for all of my drinking years
so for me my drink problem was there from the word go, once i took a drink that hunger for more and more was just to strong for me.
so for me it was there from the start
i hif under the table and all that people could see was this hand pop up from under the table scooping up the booze
i got drunk, i went around kissing people and telling them i loved them, i was as sick as a pig and i can remember the purple sick
i also remember how i felt the next day, everyone else laughed it off as i was so young but me i was so ashamed of myself
little did i know that it was going to be the patten for me drinking for all of my drinking years
so for me my drink problem was there from the word go, once i took a drink that hunger for more and more was just to strong for me.
so for me it was there from the start
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desypete........................ I feel pretty much the same as you. That no matter, once I tasted it, I was going to be hooked, one way or another. YET so many differing ideas, I'm questioning a bit now. But my basic idea is just like yours. ( you were just better at saying it, well more concise at least)
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I grew up with an alcoholic mother and two different alcoholic stepfathers. It wasn't a pretty life, and I always swore it wouldn't happen to me.
Substance abuse runs rampant in my mothers family. And I am nothing if not the spitting image of my mother. I suspect it also runs in my biological fathers family, from what I've patched together, but I'm not sure.
I didn't touch alcohol at all until I was in my 20s. Even then, I would only drink rarely and socially. I thought maybe I hadn't picked up the bug and got more comfortable with the idea of alcohol as more than just a concept.
Then, I became my worst nightmare. I'm glad I've had the wherewithal to change now, because I really know exactly where this disease is going.
So yeah, I figure I have it in my genes. Maybe not the addiction itself but the predisposition to metabolize alcohol in such a way. I'm really not sure. It also had a big factor in my environment until I left home at 16. So nature or nurture, I was kind of screwed.
That being said, I take full responsibility for putting my hand in the fire and thinking I was immune. Destined or not, the choice to pull the trigger was completely mine.
Substance abuse runs rampant in my mothers family. And I am nothing if not the spitting image of my mother. I suspect it also runs in my biological fathers family, from what I've patched together, but I'm not sure.
I didn't touch alcohol at all until I was in my 20s. Even then, I would only drink rarely and socially. I thought maybe I hadn't picked up the bug and got more comfortable with the idea of alcohol as more than just a concept.
Then, I became my worst nightmare. I'm glad I've had the wherewithal to change now, because I really know exactly where this disease is going.
So yeah, I figure I have it in my genes. Maybe not the addiction itself but the predisposition to metabolize alcohol in such a way. I'm really not sure. It also had a big factor in my environment until I left home at 16. So nature or nurture, I was kind of screwed.
That being said, I take full responsibility for putting my hand in the fire and thinking I was immune. Destined or not, the choice to pull the trigger was completely mine.
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