how to deal with relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Denver, Co
Posts: 37
how to deal with relapse
I went to rehab this time. I got a sponsor , I started working the steps and I started going to church regularly I changed my friends and my Job YET I still relapse at 97 days. I REALLY thought I did it right ,but obviusly i didnt. How do i deal with this?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
Have you read the Big Book? There are instructions in it that if followed will prevent a relapse.
There is only one thing you have to do right, that is just dont drink no matter what your head is telling you. You are not powerless over the first drink. This means you have the power of choice BEFORE you drink, not after. You have options. Call your sponsor or anyone else on the program. Get to a meeting. Distract yourself with anything other than booze. Pray. Say the Serenity Prayer over and over again. Wait out the impulses to drink, they will pass. Go online and tell us what is going on. Take a walk. Exercise. Play with the kids, pets anything. The best thing is to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. You have to develop the capacity to know when to ask for help. So learn from this relapse and dont repeat the same mistakes.
There is only one thing you have to do right, that is just dont drink no matter what your head is telling you. You are not powerless over the first drink. This means you have the power of choice BEFORE you drink, not after. You have options. Call your sponsor or anyone else on the program. Get to a meeting. Distract yourself with anything other than booze. Pray. Say the Serenity Prayer over and over again. Wait out the impulses to drink, they will pass. Go online and tell us what is going on. Take a walk. Exercise. Play with the kids, pets anything. The best thing is to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. You have to develop the capacity to know when to ask for help. So learn from this relapse and dont repeat the same mistakes.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Long-terms sobriety involves making a firm, unshakeable commitment to abstinence. I don't know if you have done that. Don't take that the wrong way; it takes time to come to the belief that alcohol has no place in your life. It means that when you're stressed, you don't think it will help. It means that you don't think it is necessary in order to fit in, to have fun, or to socialize. It means that when you DO think those things, you actively dispute them and do something else until the urge passes (which it will).
It means making changes in your life to enhance that commitment. It sounds as though you've done that.
It means planning and practicing for urges. It sounds as though maybe this is what you didn't do?.
--planning ahead to distract yourself, divert yourself, and successfully wait out the urge;
--having arguments in your head for when that 'voice' starts whispering;
--roleplaying for situations when alcohol is likely to present itself to you.
When you ask 'how do I deal with this?', do you mean 'how do I deal with the fact that I lapsed?'
You don't beat yourself up about it. Most people do once or twice. You think hard about what you were doing and thinking when the opportunity presented itself, so you can plan for the next time.
You're certainly not alone in this situation! Thanks for posting,
Don S
(GREAT post, Niner!)
It means making changes in your life to enhance that commitment. It sounds as though you've done that.
It means planning and practicing for urges. It sounds as though maybe this is what you didn't do?.
--planning ahead to distract yourself, divert yourself, and successfully wait out the urge;
--having arguments in your head for when that 'voice' starts whispering;
--roleplaying for situations when alcohol is likely to present itself to you.
When you ask 'how do I deal with this?', do you mean 'how do I deal with the fact that I lapsed?'
You don't beat yourself up about it. Most people do once or twice. You think hard about what you were doing and thinking when the opportunity presented itself, so you can plan for the next time.
You're certainly not alone in this situation! Thanks for posting,
Don S
(GREAT post, Niner!)
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Tiger
I agree with all the above. Also, I'll say as well, "Don't beat yourself up". It's very easy to think after a lapse "Oh hell to this, I'm never going to stop" etc etc. But look what you have achieved .!!??
97 days of sobriety
97 days of learning
97 days showing yourself that you CAN do this
97 days of a MUCH better lifestyle
97 days of REAL life
97 days without the cringes brought on by drunken behaviour
.... I could go on and on
You can do this, so up and at 'em with the new knowledge you have gained. Have a great 24.
much love
JC
I agree with all the above. Also, I'll say as well, "Don't beat yourself up". It's very easy to think after a lapse "Oh hell to this, I'm never going to stop" etc etc. But look what you have achieved .!!??
97 days of sobriety
97 days of learning
97 days showing yourself that you CAN do this
97 days of a MUCH better lifestyle
97 days of REAL life
97 days without the cringes brought on by drunken behaviour
.... I could go on and on
You can do this, so up and at 'em with the new knowledge you have gained. Have a great 24.
much love
JC
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Tigerlily....never give up is how you do this, and how wonderful you have 97 days put together. We keep moving forward is what we do no matter what.
Don't you love the gang here, look at the great advice you've been given by the most awesome teachers around.
Like our JC has just said...up and at em..forward you go.
Sending my love, extra hugs and prayers your way......Denise
Don't you love the gang here, look at the great advice you've been given by the most awesome teachers around.
Like our JC has just said...up and at em..forward you go.
Sending my love, extra hugs and prayers your way......Denise
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by tigerlily
I went to rehab this time. I got a sponsor , I started working the steps and I started going to church regularly I changed my friends and my Job YET I still relapse at 97 days. I REALLY thought I did it right ,but obviusly i didnt. How do i deal with this?
97 days is worth 97 days but you need to learn from it. Think about it and try to discover what started the trend toward drinking again. Getting sober and staying sober for an alcoholic is an ongoing process.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Tigerlily
I'm glad you're here. I think a person can take all the preventative steps available (sponsor, meetings, steps, rehab etc) but it's not worth jack sh*t if that person makes the choice to drink. I made the choice to drink after 2 years of sobriety. I could have called my sponsor, gone to a meeting, got out of the house, ANYTHING BUT DRINK but I wanted to drink and justified it and so didn't ask for help. Although I wish I hadn't, past is past, and I needed to learn from it. I want to stay sober, one day at a time. Living sober, like anything else in life, is not difficult provided you make it a priority in your life. Is sobriety a priority for you? I really hope you keep coming back, I think you're a terrific person. Have faith in yourself. You can do this if you really want it. God Bless.
Love Rowan
I'm glad you're here. I think a person can take all the preventative steps available (sponsor, meetings, steps, rehab etc) but it's not worth jack sh*t if that person makes the choice to drink. I made the choice to drink after 2 years of sobriety. I could have called my sponsor, gone to a meeting, got out of the house, ANYTHING BUT DRINK but I wanted to drink and justified it and so didn't ask for help. Although I wish I hadn't, past is past, and I needed to learn from it. I want to stay sober, one day at a time. Living sober, like anything else in life, is not difficult provided you make it a priority in your life. Is sobriety a priority for you? I really hope you keep coming back, I think you're a terrific person. Have faith in yourself. You can do this if you really want it. God Bless.
Love Rowan
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