Long-terms sobriety involves making a firm, unshakeable commitment to abstinence. I don't know if you have done that. Don't take that the wrong way; it takes time to come to the belief that alcohol has no place in your life. It means that when you're stressed, you don't think it will help. It means that you don't think it is necessary in order to fit in, to have fun, or to socialize. It means that when you DO think those things, you actively dispute them and do something else until the urge passes (which it will).
It means making changes in your life to enhance that commitment. It sounds as though you've done that.
It means planning and practicing for urges. It sounds as though maybe this is what you didn't do?.
--planning ahead to distract yourself, divert yourself, and successfully wait out the urge;
--having arguments in your head for when that 'voice' starts whispering;
--roleplaying for situations when alcohol is likely to present itself to you.
When you ask 'how do I deal with this?', do you mean 'how do I deal with the fact that I lapsed?'
You don't beat yourself up about it. Most people do once or twice. You think hard about what you were doing and thinking when the opportunity presented itself, so you can plan for the next time.
You're certainly not alone in this situation! Thanks for posting,
Don S
(GREAT post, Niner!)