Goodbye again, Mr. Sponsor.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Goodbye again, Mr. Sponsor.
Maybe I'm jinxed
After a very short time, I'm saying goodbye to my second sponsor. For reasons posted elsewhere that some of you may have read, he chose to end his life by drinking himself to death. Several of us stood with him through three days of this infernal binge, coaxing him to bed when we could, trying to have impromptu meetings in his living room, cleaning him up, begging him, trying to reason with him. Longtimer and sponsee alike, we all took turns. But he found ways to get liquor delivered when he was alone.
By the third day, it was decided that he had to be taken down. We couldn't stand idle anymore. He hadn't lied to us or boasted to us. He was aiming for the everafter. That morning, his skin was grey. No more.
He's a big guy. Real big. And after over 72 hours, it was going to be violent. All of us knew it. He was told... It's time now. Enough. And one of us made a move to take the bottle away. Whatever you can picture in your mind about the scene that followed, you're probably close to reality.
He suffered a broken arm. We had to.
By the time we got to ER, he was already lapsing into coma.
He still is in that state. His only family member, a sister, flew in a few days ago and is at his side.
My amends to you all for not posting this in the AA Forum.
The bloodwork showed he should be dead from alcohol poisoning.
Addiction is not done with him yet.
After a very short time, I'm saying goodbye to my second sponsor. For reasons posted elsewhere that some of you may have read, he chose to end his life by drinking himself to death. Several of us stood with him through three days of this infernal binge, coaxing him to bed when we could, trying to have impromptu meetings in his living room, cleaning him up, begging him, trying to reason with him. Longtimer and sponsee alike, we all took turns. But he found ways to get liquor delivered when he was alone.
By the third day, it was decided that he had to be taken down. We couldn't stand idle anymore. He hadn't lied to us or boasted to us. He was aiming for the everafter. That morning, his skin was grey. No more.
He's a big guy. Real big. And after over 72 hours, it was going to be violent. All of us knew it. He was told... It's time now. Enough. And one of us made a move to take the bottle away. Whatever you can picture in your mind about the scene that followed, you're probably close to reality.
He suffered a broken arm. We had to.
By the time we got to ER, he was already lapsing into coma.
He still is in that state. His only family member, a sister, flew in a few days ago and is at his side.
My amends to you all for not posting this in the AA Forum.
The bloodwork showed he should be dead from alcohol poisoning.
Addiction is not done with him yet.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I'm very sorry(((( Dan)))). You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and draw strenght from all positives. It has been a horrible ordeal you have been dealing with, and for that I am sorry, but you know the saying, this to shall pass. I pray it passes soon. Please don't say your jinxed. I know it may feel that way, but that is self defeating. I'd hate to see you do that to yourself. God Bless.
Talia
Talia
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Oh Dan,
I am so sorry. It must have been so awful to go through that and to know that your sponsor and friend chose to do what he did. This is one of the many times when we have to accept that things are happening the way they should. I'm glad you were there to offer your help. I know he'd been sober for a long time before this happened and boy is it ever a lesson to all of us. None of us is ever free from this addiction and we have to keep working at it every day.
I hope that over time you can see something good coming out of this, some inspiration for you, for all of us. We must try to build something out of this loss.
My heart is sad for you and of course, prayers for your sponsor.
Love, Anna
I am so sorry. It must have been so awful to go through that and to know that your sponsor and friend chose to do what he did. This is one of the many times when we have to accept that things are happening the way they should. I'm glad you were there to offer your help. I know he'd been sober for a long time before this happened and boy is it ever a lesson to all of us. None of us is ever free from this addiction and we have to keep working at it every day.
I hope that over time you can see something good coming out of this, some inspiration for you, for all of us. We must try to build something out of this loss.
My heart is sad for you and of course, prayers for your sponsor.
Love, Anna
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
(((Dan))) :rose
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Although, extremely painful at times, the strength and wisdom that is earned from life's hardest situations, are lessons learned. Lessons in life. Some are easy, some seem unbearable. Through it all, we continue to make choices. I trust in you to make the right ones for yourself. I know how much you value your sobriety and have worked hard to maintain it. I believe your next sponsor is being sent by your HP and will be the one to change your life forever. Give you the peace and happiness you deserve. Again, things happen for a reason. Peace to all.
God Bless and take care,
Talia
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Although, extremely painful at times, the strength and wisdom that is earned from life's hardest situations, are lessons learned. Lessons in life. Some are easy, some seem unbearable. Through it all, we continue to make choices. I trust in you to make the right ones for yourself. I know how much you value your sobriety and have worked hard to maintain it. I believe your next sponsor is being sent by your HP and will be the one to change your life forever. Give you the peace and happiness you deserve. Again, things happen for a reason. Peace to all.
God Bless and take care,
Talia
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Magic, TG, Talia, thanks for the good vibes. It's been over a week now, and things are settled somewhat. I felt it should be told. We're as sober as our last 24 hours.
I learned a lesson, and I stayed sober. Some other newcomers didn't.
This simple program of Alcoholics Anonymous works if you work it.
The doctors expect him to wake up. It remains to be seen what comes out the other side with him. So yeah, prayers for him. Big time.
And me? I made it, and I've got the rest of my life
I learned a lesson, and I stayed sober. Some other newcomers didn't.
This simple program of Alcoholics Anonymous works if you work it.
The doctors expect him to wake up. It remains to be seen what comes out the other side with him. So yeah, prayers for him. Big time.
And me? I made it, and I've got the rest of my life
Little Girl Found
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: North Andover, MA
Posts: 567
(((DAN)))
You have offered a lot of strength for me here. I'm so sorry to hear about everything. Everything will work out as it's suppose to.
You mean a lot to everyone here! Hang in there, man.
Danielle
You have offered a lot of strength for me here. I'm so sorry to hear about everything. Everything will work out as it's suppose to.
You mean a lot to everyone here! Hang in there, man.
Danielle
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