alwayssober1

I don't know what's happened but this past month has been awful! All my motivation to stay sober has gone out the window, I've lost complete interest in sobriety, strong fleeting cravings etc, its crazy!

I'm 191 days sober now, up until around 4-5 months sober things were good, strong resolve etc, the past month however I've been yearning for a drink so bad! Its like a pressure building, I feel bored, fed up, tired, I'm watching my dad and brothers drink beer every night, I feel like I'm holding on by my fingernails!

I have had the willpower to stay sober otherwise I wouldn't have lasted this long, but is scary I'm getting intense cravings like I'm on the first week or something! I'm even dreaming I've started drinking again! Lol.

PurpleKnight

What else are you doing other than not drinking?

For me simply hanging on and not drinking wasn't enough, I needed to start doing things with my new found time, new activities, new projects, start living the life I got Sober for in the first place!!

You can do this!!

aborkie

That's a long time sober. I would think twice about going back to the drunk life. Nothing good awaits you there.

alwayssober1

Thanks, I guess its just boredom, my life is dull, it consists of job searching, exercising, dog walking, TV and internet, gaming.......i just miss getting F**ked up sometimes! Lol.

As always its just a craving, one that I'm not going to give into, sorry for sounding like a broken record... Lol.

thenewguy

I'm sober 10 1/2 months, and the first six months were rough. Our minds and bodies are just starting to sort themselves out.

Please don't give in. I can assure you the next six months will be well worth the time and work invested. Seek support wherever you can find it if you feel you need it.

Regards,

PurpleKnight

I think that's a symptom of the boredom, seeking to escape and pass many hours through alcohol, I used to that that every night of the week.

For me quitting drinking highlighted just how boring my life had become, sometimes we can think that Sobriety is boring, but the other way to look at it is our lives were already boring before we got Sober as we were merely left with plenty of time on our hands and no idea as to how to fill it.

I wasn't living such an exhilarating life drinking on my sofa every evening after work, so I needed to do new things after quitting.

Dee74

I had a small boring life as a drunk AS. The drinking helped me tolerate it.
That was no longer good enough when I got sober.

You must have things you'd like to try or hobbies you want to get back into. Do them man!

You must also know what parts of your life you find boring. Change them!

Honestly? Think about it...there's no reason to be bored, or to settle for a life you want to escape from.

Make your life what you want it to be AS

D

alwayssober1

Thanks dee, your right, I need to get myself a life! Lol

I don't have much get up and go anymore, unmotivated, anhedonia, I wanted to get sober hoping my enthusiasm for life would return like a had when I was 17/18/19, 10 years of drinking later, 6 months sober I'm trying to get that back, I still feel like a dull headed drunk! Lol.

Raider

I have to knock those thoughts out of my head. If I think about it, I do it. This has happened in all my relapses. Praying for you.

MIRecovery

In the beginning I used AA as my one size fits all solution. It gave me something to do, I met happy sober people, I developed friendships, there were social activities, tons of good advice on staying sober, my spirituality was strengthened, there were people who understood, and best of all I stayed sober

leviathan

i agree with dee. new life, new activities. when i was drinking, just sitting there was entertainment. lift bottle, swallow repeat. wee!

boredom is threatening because your mind is searching and throwing out options. solution: have more options! now that drinking is off the table, dont even consider.

alwayssober1

Thank you very much. I hope you can overcome your AV as well.

aborkie

The drunk life has it's highs and lows. The sober life seems boring and slow. This seems like a theme on SR. Is life supposed to be pure bliss all the time? I don't think so. Many sober people who are seemingly infectious with life have ups and downs also.

alwayssober1

I had another dream last night or should that be nightmare! I had enough and went to the shop and brought a bottle of red wine (even though I was a beer drinker Lol), poured myself a glass, drunk it, felt horrible, sickly, from then on I was deeply ashamed of my myself, what have I done! Lol, 6 months wasted! Idiot!........ I'm back on day 1!

Then I woke up!......I haven't had a drink, I'm still 6 months sober, oh the relief! Lol, I think I've made my mind up which is better!

Afteralcohol

Drinking dreams always come for me after I'm feeling tempted. The relief when I wake up is even better than not having a hangover. Sounds like you're doing okay.

What sort of things do you like doing? Is it worth thinking about your goals and ambitions and just trying to do one tiny thing a day that is new, or that is a step to the person you want to be? I'm a great believer that we will drink unless we find a better thing to do with our lives.

DoubleDragons

Sometimes I think we mistake peace for boredom. And being alcoholics, we are used to a lot of self-created drama and big highs and lows. When we start living life right, we get peaceful, but it feels so foreign to us, we don't know what to do with it, until it becomes the norm.

I am over nine months sober and I remember around six months feeling the same way you do. Get busy doing things that you like to do. Pray for help if you are so inclined, but know that this will pass and sober life is wonderful!

jdooner

I had to construct a sober life that I wanted to protect with every ounce of my being. So how did I do this? I had to change my old life and accept that the memories were just that. In fact, most of them were fake memories of a romance that was no longer. Another member has a post that I will steal a line from - its like that girlfriend or boyfriend that cheats on you all over town and makes you feel like a fool. You have to close that door forever bc any good memories are not real.

Part of creating a new life is creating a support network that provides me with a toolbox of coping mechanisms to reach into and deal with life when life gets thrown at me. For me my recovery ebbs and flows like the moon or the ocean. This means I have good days and bad days but I never have a drunk or high day. I have found and crafted a spiritual (not for everyone) program that works for me. I have developed hobbies in my life such as exercise (swimming, tennis, running, mtn biking), work (making sure my career is moving where I want it with a 5 yr plan), family (living in the present with my children and letting go of manipulative behaviors with my wife).

The combination is allowing me to grow and I now want to protect this life with every ounce of my being, which means never drinking or using again.

Just my experience.

DoubleDragons

I like your post, JDooner. Sobriety has made me value my life more than I ever have valued it. I think some people in my life think that I have become more cautious in my old age but honestly I find my life precious now. I wasn't so much daring before as I was reckless because I really didn't care. I felt dull inside, so any thrill, whether it be chemical or showy or physical was only there to try to make me feel alive. Now I feel alive in the true sense of the word and I am so grateful for it.

alwayssober1

Thanks for your replies, its obvious, building a new structure in life, new goals, hobbies etc, but I'm still struggling with low energy/motivation?

I have posted at 30 days, 90 days, 120 days, 5/6 months sober, I have no motivation? I feel lazy and tired all the time, yeah I exercise everyday, but only because I force myself, given the option I would prefer just to do as little as possible, I think I was a sloth in my previous life Lol.

But no really, I have as much energy now as I did the first couple of months sober, that hasn't improved? I thinking for heavens sake I'm over 6 months sober why do I still feel hungover?

I really need to give myself a kick up the arse and go for a check up at the doctors.

GracieLou

A body in motion tends to stay in motion, a body at rest tends to stay at rest.

I am not suggesting you run marathons or anything and getting motivated is hard but once you get a routine going it does get easier to do and I actually look forward to it.

I think you need action! Maybe volunteer. Have a reason to be tired other than being tired of being tired!