Aiko

MarathonMan sorry you are struggling...
but is normal, your head will take you there at any chance.
With time it gets better.

Do not throw all the work you have done away!
Bear the cravings... bc going back is even worse...

You know you CAN NOT HAVE ONE!
Repeat it in your head, it works with me...
Or go running instead!!!

These are waves they come and go,
do not let them drown you back...

Hope you feel better and any time come here to share!

Hevyn

I'm sorry for what you're going through MM - but very thankful you wanted to discuss it here.

Dee74

I think a lot of us are familiar with engineering things just so we can 'righteously' drink.
I know I know that play back to front.

What can you do to shore up your recovery, right now, today MM?
any ideas?

D

jdooner

Have you thought about an AA meeting? Just to sit and talk to others who understand walking in your shoes can help.

Eat something. Drink lots of water and consume sugar. These will help.

Keep posting. Go for a run.

To me it sounds like you need to strengthen your program.

Wendolene

Hi there,

I'm at about the same stage in my recovery as you - I can certainly relate to the poster who mentioned the '3-4 month hurdle'. Though, I guess the summer months are harder for a lot of people? My poison of choice was wine, and I had a BBQ the other day, where I could have imagined myself sipping on a glass of chilled rose. I beat my craving with an ice-cold sparkling fruit juice drink, which seemed to do the trick.

We are all here for support if you need it!

MarathonMan

Wendolene - congrats on 4 months and thanks for support, feeling much more myself today.

Dee and JD - not sure what I can do to shore up my recovery in the short term, it is almost all exercise driven currently, stopped drinking to run again.....i'm not ready for AA as group face to face is not something I like the thought of. I should probably try to book in to talk to someone 1 on 1 for alcohol and some other issues id like to sort out.

jdooner

For me the book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate helped me early on. I would also suggest Rational Recovery if face to face is not something you are ready to deal with. Lastly, a good therapist can be wonderful too.

Dee74

Exercise is great but I'm not sure it does anything to work on your alcoholism mm.
And what happens if you get injured?

If you don't want to go the AA/face to face meeting route, ok...JDs suggestion of RR is a good one - you could also throw yourself a little more into SR...maybe join a Class of whatever month thread, or the Under One Year thread.

Posting daily makes a difference for a lot of people.

D

Tamerua

I had a feeling like this about a month ago and it really shook me. I talked about it with sober people and it totally took the power away from it. You're doing great and congrats on the 10 months.

Tiptree

Months 4 thru 6 were hard for me and it upset me that I wasn't further along, especially at 6 months. Then I thought, how long is 6 months out of the totality of my drinking life, maybe less than 1%? So, even at 8 months, I'm still really new to this and it's going to be an uneven road for quite some time I suspect. I don't beat myself up about ruining drinking for myself. The thought of the drink and the ritual of it were far better than the actual consumption. After that first swallow, anything I thought it would enhance went out the window. All I wanted was that next one, and so on to a black out. Stay strong.

MarathonMan

Dee - yeah I know what you mean with getting injured, the thought petrifies me. Just for clarity though running is more than just exercise for me, I was trying my best to reach the qualifying time for the common wealth games a few years ago when alcohol managed to get hold of me again. I can't drink and train and so I stopped drinking again as if I get another 4 years of training there is a slim chance I could still be young enough to qualify for the 2018 games. I've currently moved up to 110 miles per week and will be moving up to around 135-140 soon so running takes over my life and is all consuming.

So although you may say it doesn't help with alcoholism (and for most as a simple hobby it wouldn't) it was my driver to quit and my driver to maintain my sobriety.

MarathonMan

JD- I already read in the realm of the hungry ghosts....you recommended it to me a few months ago....a very sad touching book....especially a few pages about a couple with the best of intentions of getting sober when the woman found out she was pregnant and their struggle and eventual failure to do so......that bit struck a cord to me, maybe because my wife is pregnant.

Arbor

This ^ so true. Those thoughts are why it's so hard. They are only thoughts fleeting...not facts. Stay strong. Onward!

aasharon90

I used that excuse a many a times just
to escape my unhappy marriage to only
fuel and feed my addiction then ended
up in an accident in Feb. 1990 and then
to proceed to end my miserable life in
August 1990.

That was the end of my drinking career
and picked up my recovery program that
has kept me sober for many years afterwards
thru more changes in my life and marriage.

After I leaned how to stay sober using tools
and knowledge of a recovery program, I needed
to learn how to live life on lifes terms. All the
many things I drank over I then had to use a
program of recovery formula in all aspects of
my life, including my marriage.

With faith and guidance from the Man upstairs
who knows all and knew all to well my marriage
woes, eventually guided me to end my 25yr.
marriage and sent me back home here in Baton
Rouge.

He has blessed me once again with a new marriage
of 5 yrs now and continues to guide me each day
I do His will and not mine.

Never do I ever have to go thru or face anything
alone in life again as long as I stay connected to
Him and my program of recovery.

Recovery is a gift and a blessing and my HP
is even more of a blessing in my life some
23 yrs sober.

Arbor

Resentment is completely understandable. But choose to look at it differently. Try feeling great full or lucky that it got to a point when you realized it wasn't fun or enjoyable anymore. And then made a wonderful decision to quit. Some people never get there. Something to think about.

TucTee

MM, this is the biggest motivator now. It's one thing to delve back into self-destruction when your only dependents are adults. It's another thing entirely if you have a child. That child deserves a stable set of parents. Starting a landslide now by slipping could jeopardize your availability--physically and emotionally--for the birth, those crucial first months and beyond.

Women will "eat for two" when pregnant. In this case, you should "abstain for three" and ensure that your wife and child have you at 100%.