Croissant

Rc4....yes, your list exhausted me! I think it's great you are aware of some of your triggers, there are probably others you are yet to discover....but it's part of the journey.

I think in the beginning, like you, it helped me to have a plan for my day. I had to fill in every gap in time to keep my grip on sobriety. Idle time scared me....lest my guard be lowered and I was lured into drinking.

Just remember.....put the commitment in, remember what made you want to get sober...and hold on to that. Stick around - we are all here for you and want you to win!

Kitkat331

I just wanted to share a different experience with SSRIs. I started on one (the generic form of lexapro) a week after I quit drinking. I think it has helped me. There definitely were side effects at first (headaches & dizziness) and some that I still have (loss of libido) but overall I reall feel it has helped me have a more stable mood, which is helping me stay sober & function better. Plus it helped me have a clear line in the sand about alcohol--you're not supposed to mix them. So, I tell myself if I ever want to go back to drinking I us have to taper off the lexapro first (which takes a couple months) and that's enough to get me thinking straight again.

rc4dt1

Mornings seem to be the most difficult. I had another dream about my ex last night. She was dating another guy and I was so angry in the dream. I wanted her back so bad. I refused to leave and was basically throwing a tantrum and wanting to fight. It's sticking with me as I begin my day at work.

I went through this 2 years ago around the same time of year. She broke up with me though because I couldn't get myself straightened out. I was trying to get and stay sober in hopes that we would be able to get back together. Well, we did when I had about 4 or 5 months clean and the same things happened. I eventually lost interest, we broke up, and I went back out. We got back together and broke up twice more after that over the course of the next year and a half which brings me to today. 23 days sober, broken up for 3.5 months, and feeling really down. Missing her big time again.

It's also been 5 days since I have decided to stop trying to date women and stopped with the internet thing. In fact, I have stopped everything that is an escape from how I am feeling aside from exercise, socializing, yoga, work, reading, posting on here, calling guys in the program... etc. This is the worst I have ever felt.

Thanks everyone for the support.

Dee74

Give it time rc - sometimes we need to walk through the woods to get to the clearing, yknow?

you're not alone - we've got your back

D

rc4dt1

Thanks Dee

That's exactly what I am focused on doing. It helps to come on here and get it out. I know sometimes I just need to "sit with it" but lately I have been really needing to get it out and seek support, encouragement, hope. It's really dark in these damn trees right now.

Kitkat331

Hang in there!! You can do this. I love reading humorous stuff when I'm struggling--cheers me up & helps reset my mood. Photoshop disasters is my fave right now--soooo funny: PSD : Photoshop Disasters |