heath480

Sorry you relapsed,I doubt it had anything to do with having Alcohol in the house.You have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink.The more you drink the harder it gets to stop.

Seek out AA meetings in your area,there you will get face to face support.It is tough when you get out of rehab and don't have anyone.

gaffo

Itchy, you totally rock! I hope you have a great summer.

bigsombrero

I hear you on that, loud and clear. I went away for rehab to Minnesota for a month, and was in that "safe zone" also. But the second my plane landed in Chicago and I was on my own...real life started. The walk back to my apartment from the El train stop was the longest and most difficult walk of my life. I'm still not sure how I managed not to stop in a liquor store.

So what did I do? I picked up and got out of that apartment for a couple of months. There was no way I could get back in my old surroundings, unsupervised, and stand a chance. It worked.

So is there anywhere else you can go? I take it you drank a lot at your mom's place alone before you went to treatment. And now you're back there, alone again. What are your options? You probably don't have a job considering you just got home - do you have flexibility and can you change your scenery at all? Easier said than done I'm sure. And I'm not a professional and not an expert: just someone who's been through a similar experience and thought I'd toss out an idea for ya.

airwick

Pick yourself up

Brush yourself off

Start again

I work with Pre-school children. They are always picking on each other, telling on one another, doing something wrong, doing something right. When they come pouting to me , I just tell them "Life goes on".

One of the little girls had an argument with one of the boys. It was so cute. She looks at the boy, after he done something wrong and felt bad, said "life goes on" Ms, Airwick said not to worry you'll survive

Itchy

silentrun

That would be a dangerous situation for me too. Some people can quit with it in the house. I can't. It would whisper to me until it either went down the sink or down my throat. My home has to be a safety zone. You came along way in 4 months and it's not wasted. Now you know some of the thinking that got you into trouble and can avoid it in the future.

airwick

I wasn't calling you a pouter Just needed to make that clear Have a great day

Itchy

Silentrun I am not advocating that anybody have liquor in the same house that has any anxiety about it. You are in the majority. Most find that thought unthinkable and that is valid. My reasoning was a result of hating my addiction and becoming reviled at the very taste of it that chained me to being a hermit for fear of hurting myself or my vehicles should I venture forth intoxicated with hearty ale. I did my can't resist it in front of me for the last year when I tried to quit with no plan. But once I made up my mind and got detoxed in the hospital, I even refused to continue on with 28 days of rehab and the doc and program counselors were convinced I was just wanting to get to drinking again. I had decided that once I got it out of my system, and detoxed, I would be free and never touch it again. One day at a time didn't get it because I was done for the rest of my life. Lots of folks won't, not can't, handle that finality, to never get drunk again. Because we didn't socially drink one and occasionally two to be social. Alcoholics like me drank from waking to passing out every day. And from all those who relapsed with alcohol, like I did once before with cigarettes after being quit for 18 months, I heard the same thing. Relapse means not just getting back to drinking or smoking but much more as if catching up for the drinks or smokes missed.

I was determined that I would quit alcohol and cigarettes at the same time and for the same reasons. I did use the patches for a year after detox this time, but it worked because I was determined to do whatever it took. I was done for good, from day one and long before, when I planned my jailbreak from the Alcatraz of alcoholism and nicotine addiction.
If you got out of jail would you pine for it? If you passed by a prison would you go in to be imprisoned once released? If you visited an inmate would you try to follow him to his cell?

That was my feeling about the slow suicide I was committing. Once I got out, I was never going back. I was willing to fight going back to the death. Nothing would or could make me go back to drinking even one. If God came down from heaven and she told me I could drink and not have any bad effects or make a fool of myself, I'd say thanks, but I already drank my fill. Now I want to drink the variety I missed and the pure cool waters of the earth. No more the rotted (fermented) remains of plant sugars.

I kid you not, I was done the day I checked into 7 days in hospital detox. I arranged it. No one threatened me, no interventions, no bad things I did hanging over me. No loss or threat of loss of family or spouse. I did it all and never will return. No bonds are so unbreakable as those we create for ourselves. I planned and very deliberately broke free.

I also realized that proximity is relative. How many liquor stores do you pass daily that you used to frequent? I have my beer and Scotch suppliers five minutes by car from my front door. It is an order away from me in a restaurant. If I visit friends they may have a beer or cocktail and offer.

In my cabinet, or around the corner, makes no difference because they are forbidden by me for me. I was a proud alcoholic that I was retired and could drink. Now equally proud that I am a non drinker and won't make that mistake again.

I practice sobriety one happy lifetime at a time.

SoulSister

Can you get to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous?