Letting go of the past.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Letting go of the past.
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Since I quit drinking feelings have been right in my face. I really thought I had let go of old hurts and moved on, when in fact I had just floated them in alcohol. Today is 10 months sober, and it feels good. I am learning to just feel, and allow the feelings to be there. Every day I feel stronger and am able to heal. Just wanted to share that. Letting go is such a big part of being sober.
Since I quit drinking feelings have been right in my face. I really thought I had let go of old hurts and moved on, when in fact I had just floated them in alcohol. Today is 10 months sober, and it feels good. I am learning to just feel, and allow the feelings to be there. Every day I feel stronger and am able to heal. Just wanted to share that. Letting go is such a big part of being sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Congratulations, huntingtontx, on 10 sober months; what a wonderful accomplishment. Glad that you are feeling stronger and healing. Learning to accept life on its own terms (and the feelings that come along with that acceptance) was a major battle for me.
Congratulations, again. You are rocking it.
Congratulations, again. You are rocking it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
I have said I was sorry to people I treated badly in the past -those that did not deserve said treatment -
And I have taken the words they had for me about how I acted .
Now after I said I was sorry ,and they gave me the verbal chewing I deserved .
Don't think for a second ,I have now become the doormat for you to wipe your feet on .
I have made my amends to the best of my ability ,and they got the chance to VENT to me .
Don't think for a second im going to take that verbal abuse again -its over im DONE
I might deserve it multiple times ,but ill be darned if ill accept that .
Vent if you must , but my peace of mind is not for rent .
And I have taken the words they had for me about how I acted .
Now after I said I was sorry ,and they gave me the verbal chewing I deserved .
Don't think for a second ,I have now become the doormat for you to wipe your feet on .
I have made my amends to the best of my ability ,and they got the chance to VENT to me .
Don't think for a second im going to take that verbal abuse again -its over im DONE
I might deserve it multiple times ,but ill be darned if ill accept that .
Vent if you must , but my peace of mind is not for rent .
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
10 months is wonderful Huntington. We're very proud of you.
That was my challenge too - allowing myself to feel instead of pouring alcohol over everything. Being numb is damaging and it costs us. I'm so glad we're healing, learning and growing.
That was my challenge too - allowing myself to feel instead of pouring alcohol over everything. Being numb is damaging and it costs us. I'm so glad we're healing, learning and growing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Congrats on the 10 months. For me I have found steps, 4, 5 and 6 to be great at releasing much of this pain. Writing down your resentments and then understanding my role was a new way for me to better understand my contribution and involvement. The process of writing was a wonderful release.
I have followed your posts for over 8 months and your doing an amazing job!
I have followed your posts for over 8 months and your doing an amazing job!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Thank you all for your comments. I know I would never be able to walk this sober journey alone. Each day as I read and think about the posts I learn more. Thank you all for walking with me and encouraging me as I go. I hope I am always able to be there for you all too.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Great post. As I read it I immediately thought of steps 5 and 9. For me I never had much of an issue with the harms done to me. They were mostly deserved and were few in any case.
The pain for me was in the wreckage of my past. The secrets, the harm to others, I found far too painful to live with on my own. These were the things that could lead me back to drink.
Conversely, through the steps, God has turned my major liabilities into assets that I can use to help others. "We will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. We will see how our experience can help others"
It's all true.
The pain for me was in the wreckage of my past. The secrets, the harm to others, I found far too painful to live with on my own. These were the things that could lead me back to drink.
Conversely, through the steps, God has turned my major liabilities into assets that I can use to help others. "We will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. We will see how our experience can help others"
It's all true.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Huntingtontx, 10 months sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Yea hunt, my feelings are all up in my face too. Right now I've got more self-help books than Amazon.com has, and they pretty much say ya gotta release the pain from your past to heal. I'm happy to work on it, rootin for ya. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
I could never block out the past, instead I had to see through the illusion of the thoughts. I had to accept the fact that thoughts were just thoughts and it was only the mind doing what minds do. My mind would dance from one thought to another, most weren't even real in the present while others were projections into the past or the future. If it wasn't for my mind cooking those things up most of them were not even real in the now. The best thing about the past is that it's over yet the mind want's to convince you that it's still real in the present.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Here and now
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne 
I could never block out the past, instead I had to see through the illusion of the thoughts. I had to accept the fact that thoughts were just thoughts and it was only the mind doing what minds do. My mind would dance from one thought to another, most weren't even real in the present while others were projections into the past or the future. If it wasn't for my mind cooking those things up most of them were not even real in the now. The best thing about the past is that it's over yet the mind want's to convince you that it's still real in the present.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
I could never block out the past, instead I had to see through the illusion of the thoughts. I had to accept the fact that thoughts were just thoughts and it was only the mind doing what minds do. My mind would dance from one thought to another, most weren't even real in the present while others were projections into the past or the future. If it wasn't for my mind cooking those things up most of them were not even real in the now. The best thing about the past is that it's over yet the mind want's to convince you that it's still real in the present.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 10 MONTHS!!
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