RocketQueen

It's really not that hard if you read the first part of the post. Other people understood and were able to respond accordingly.

Croissant

Oh, I'm relieved that you were ok. After I posted, you showed as offline, and I was worried that you weren't safe. I'm glad you had a roof over your heads last night.

I definitely understand the anxious feeling that things aren't happening fast enough, and to your original post, why is this happening when you are sober.

I totally get that part and recently lamented in the same way. I think of that part of me as the bratty child, throwing tantrums when I want things to go my way, or I want the answers NOW!!!, dammit. I often think this part of my personality was fed further during alcoholism....I.e; why is life going this way, screw it, I'll have a drink, why did xyz person talk to me that way, screw it, I'll have a drink.

It's been very hard for me to firstly acknowledge, and then deal with that part of my personality that grew out of control when drinking. I empathise that you certainly are not in the best of circumstances at the moment, but give yourself some credit that you are a strong person to have come this far with sobriety, you can mentally get through this. It's not fair, it's extreme - but I guarantee once you get through this hurdle, you will look back in years to come and know you can deal with challenges.

I'm sorry it doesn't feel that way right now though.

GunnyL

Sorry you're in such a bad situation. What I can offer is this: A lot of us live our lives or parts of them one or two steps from making it or not making it.

Your recovery may have no play in the matter. Just maybe one of the stilts you were counting on to support you got knocked out from under you and would have happened regardless.

"Rock bottom" as it pertains to alcoholism is not always the same "rock bottom" that pertains to life.

I hit rock bottom as an alcoholic. I am STILL one or two steps away from disaster in my daily life, sober.

I hope something works out for you.

purechaos

How ya hanging in there?
Things looking any sunnier yet?

RocketQueen

Not yet. Things are on pause because of the weekend *sigh*

We are sleeping on the floor of my alcoholic fathers lounge room, which poses a whole new set of problems for this alcoholic. Added stress and a little temptation littered all over the house. The rancid smell of stale wine is extremely nauseating to me, and then there's my dad's alcoholic behaviour which is PTSD triggering.

Hanging on by a thread, but ready to let go at any given moment.

GunnyL

Try and hang in there. You've got a place out of the weather for you and your daughter. THAT is what matters.

My situation is not ideal. Not as bad as yours but bad enough. I have to remind myself it beats sleeping in my truck with everything I own Lord knows where.

You have things to do. Try to concentrate on that. I know it's hard, but it beats making matters worse.

zjw

talk about getting kicked in the teeth just as you where getting yourself back up! I've watched myself back slide in some areas as I sobered up as someone said sometimes things have a domino affect as your life has to readjust. Still doesnt seem very fair however.

When I find myself in these tough spots I have to think "it is what it is" acceptance is a tough pill to swallow though. And sometimes its so tough all you can do is breathe.

Hang in there.

Dee74

Hope this week brings results RQ.

d

RocketQueen

Its one thing after another. Can't catch a break.

Me too, Dee