Dee74

honestly I think you might be in an even worse position right now if you weren't clean and sober RQ
Keep us updated as you can.
D

chicory

Rocket queen,

I am sorry for what has happened to you, and your daughter. You have her, and a car, and I dare say, as long as you have her, you have much.

I cannot imagine how worried you must be, though. I hope you have resources for help, where ever you live.

I thought as I re read your post, of how awful this would all be if you were still drinking. for you and for your dear daughter.

keep looking for help. sometimes we have to beat the bushes to find it, but those who seek it have the chance of finding.

You can't just give up. how old is your daughter?

praying for things to get better for you both, very soon. a tough situation, for sure.

RocketQueen

Worse how?

I'm just about to head out to see a case worker about accommodation. I've already been told I won't get public housing (because I have a car!!!!), but I'll see what they say in terms of other options.

bigsombrero

Good luck, sorry to hear it. For what it's worth, I was unemployed and completely broke when I hit the 1-year sober mark. My previous behavior had left me with an unmanageable situation on my hands. And the creditors weren't calling me to congratulate me on my sobriety: they were calling to get their money!

You'll make it through this. Sure does suck though, and it doesn't seem very fair. All the best to you.

Dee74

Re-read some old posts. That worse.

I remember what a utter *shambles* my life and my head was drunk - adding homelessness and a child to take care of might have done me in....

I hope you find some accommodation joy, RQ - I'm about to get public housing after a 12 year wait, so yeah it's not easy.


D

chicory

well, it would be worse for your daughter, as she would be alone in trying to find help. I had drinking parents and was often the 'parent' , making sure my sisters and I had food, at times.

I'm just about to head out to see a case worker about accommodation. I've already been told I won't get public housing (because I have a car!!!!), but I'll see what they say in terms of other options.[/QUOTE]

Life is like this for a friend of mine, who did not drink, but she had two daughters. she had to let her daughters stay with friends and family and stayed in a borrowed car for a bit, but she kept asking, searching, and finally things are much better for her. she had to borrow cars, etc. it might be worth your while to give your car to someone, if it means a place to stay and food to eat? perhaps there is work close enough to you. I know, I cannot imagine getting rid of the car.. you need it for so much.

I hope you get some good advice, mine probably stinks, but I care, and hope you get tougher as well, during this hard time.
hugs,
chicory

purechaos

How old is your daughter? (Sorry if you stated that previously) I agree if you have your child and your child is healthy and alive things could always be much much worse. ... Try to keep telling yourself that.. Keep pushing forward eventually you will get your head out of the water.

purechaos

Also where are you from? There are programs to help people... Just got to know where to look.

RocketQueen

I'm fighting to keep my child. There is every chance I will lose her if her father finds out what is going on. I can't even provide the basics for her, so yeah, I'm at risk of losing her too.

Nuudawn

Ok ..that just sucks. I'm lacking a more apt expression right now. I have never been much of a fan of "the promises" stuff in AA text. Not that I don't think sobriety has it's gifts but for some reason it lends itself to the idea that there is some sort of material reward in stow...or promise of certainty and security in a tenuous world. Let's face it...one could sober up and be shot having a burger in McDonalds or our child could be abducted or, or or...
Daily prayer and faith in God doesn't earn you special favour with him either (IMHO)...but hopefully...hope and faith...and sobriety helps us to...as others have said...handle sudden hell upon us better or provides us with swifter answers and comfort ...tests our mettle and show us how strong and capable we truly are once we have risen from the sometimes terrible occurences of life...

I'm so sorry for your current difficulty and can only send bright blessings and hope for swift resolve.

LadyBlue0527

I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. It sounds though like you're saying that because you quit drinking that things like this shouldn't happen. Things like this happen regardless of whether or not alcohol or addiction is present. Adding that back in only makes it worse.

What happened exactly? Everything was going fine and you didn't see this coming at all?

In any case i hope you hang tough.

miamifella

It does happen.

I always say I hit my bottom in recovery. My life was constructed to conceal my drug use and when drug use was taken away it collapsed. (Before I began using drugs, my life was constructed to conceal unhappiness. Once I found drugs I began achieving career and financial success for the first time--but I was miserable.)

A research psychologist spoke to me saying that many relationships are wrecked n the first year of recovery because they are systems built on dysfunction that cannot accommodate normalcy.

What got me through it was the thought that my life was far worse in early recovery but I myself was much better.

It took time, but then my life got better too. Ultimately it was worth it. But, yes, for a while I was completely alone, without enough money to afford a phone, regular meals, transportation. I felt trapped in a way I never did when addicted. But my life was simple, which was what I needed and I did rebuild.

Your life may be bad now....but how are YOU?

RocketQueen

How am I?
Physically? Sick, emaciated, exhausted, pale, shaky (much like when I was drinking).
Mentally? Depressed, anxious, lonely, detached, angry (again, very similar to when I was drinking). I'm homeless. I'm not exactly full of life and hope right now, and honestly can't say that I feel any "better"

Croissant

I'm sorry you are mentally on shaky ground right now. I'm concerned you are saying you are homeless, but hoping tonight you have some emergency accommodation as a roof over your head for you and your daughter.

I am not sure what state you are in, but Salvation Army can help you. St Vincent De Paul also...amongst many other services. I'm happy for you to PM me if you are not aware of the resources available to you.

RocketQueen

Yeah, thanks. We're couch surfing for tonight and over the weekend. I called DHS yesterday, and they referred me to Child First, who put me in contact with another agency near where I live. The ball is rolling, but dammit, not fast enough.

grubby

What exactly happened anyways?? Some more details would help such as:

- Why were you "kicked out" by your family?

- What happened to whatever job you used to have? Laid off? Fired? Quit?

- Did you have any savings at all when the crap hit the fan? Something as extreme as ending up "on the street" doesn't happen overnight in most cases....... usually there are signs and red-flags leading up to it.

- What type of guy did you choose as the father of your kid? Why did you leave?

- If you can't afford the kid, why not just hand it over to the father? Children don't belong on the street.......

Was reading this post yesterday and i just wasn't able to make much sense of it, i think there are some details missing here........

Best of luck

RocketQueen

The details are irrelevant, especially the details you are asking for. Like I said earlier, I'm not looking for advice, and I'm not asking you guys for help. I'm keeping the answers to those questions to myself for a reason. So, if we could stick to my original post, that would be fantastic.

Holli

I am very sorry for what you are going through now.

feeling-good

Sorry haven't read whole thread yet, but just to let you know, I was kicked out of my house after I got sober, not before!! I am still paying 100% for that house, where my daughter and husband live, plus paying rent on a house share with someone else. So, life did get kinda worse after becoming sober, but in other ways it has got better.

Hmmm, that doesn't sound very encouraging does it?!? I just want to say - we're all here with you!

grubby

I was just saying........... your post was really vague.

Going from being OK to suddenly being on the street overnight with no reason? Doesn't make any sense to me.......

From your original post:
"Can someone please explain this to me? Is this more common than people like to let on? Or am I just one of the "lucky" ones?"

It's kind of hard to comment on that without any background info whatsoever.

Anyhow, i hope whatever bad situation you are in right now is short-lived