zjw

I'm curious what other people do to handle big problems where they got no solutions but the problems obviously need solutions. I've had a number of problems that i've resolved some big some small since I sobered up. But I got a couple problems now that I simply have no solution too.

One is I loathe my job cant stand it this has gone on for years. On one hand i'm being a big baby on the other hand it is what it is and i'm at my wits end. Been at my wits end for years now So needless to say I'm tired I'm worn out.

Another problem I have is the car thats just constantly breaking. I can afford to fix it. I cant afford to replace it yet I need a family car.

So here i sit with a couple problems out of my league frankly I'm tired I dunno how I go on most days.

I understand the power of prayer its whats gotten me through all the others. The car problem seems young yet but my job problems have been around for a while I'd think if God was going to resolve that for me He woulda done so by now maybe he's trying to teach me something But I gotta say I'm tired.

Most of the time My coping mechanism is stuffing my head in the sand. This keeps me from dwelling on it and not getting depressed. But this doesnt solve anything and frankly probably has me about to get fired at work.

Curious what other people do when they got problems that are just too big for them. Thankfully I dont wanna drink over them I know that wont get me anywhere.

Thepatman

I count my blessings and realise the list is a lot longer than my problems.

IOAA2

Hi. Some years ago I told my sponsor I had a problem that I needed help with. His response was "the only problem you will have is if you drink! The rest are situations." Over the years I've found this to be accurate.

BE WELL

kenkd

God helps those who help themselves.

What actions have you taken to find another job or improve your situation at your current job?

CAPTAINZING2000

I think, how boring life would be if it was just one long walk in a flower garden.

Faith is praying for help in finding a possible solution in our everyday problems and believing in the outcome. I do believe God will help us move mountains but we better bring a shovel.

zjw

I agree with all of your repsonses. Its an ongoing battle each day to rescue my mind before I spiral into a pit of despair as i tend to dwell on these problems.

I've looked for more work but there is nothing for my skills. I'd have to take a major pay cut and sell my house etc.. Which I'm ok with but my wife is not so my hands are sorta tied.

I agree god will help you move mountains but you should bring a shovel. Gods been faithful to me thus far but this job situation has been a real kicker.

Its wearing me out and I realize its just a bump in the road I suppose but its been a big one I've been dealing with this for years.

And its very true I can sit around dwelling on what i do have and being thankful that helps pick me up a lot. The issue tho is it doesnt resolve the problem at hand it doesnt make it go away it just makes me feel better for a time.

gaffo

There are many cars on Craigslist and you can name your price range. I don't know what that is but under $2k will buy you a decent car from the owner if you don't care what it is. Just keep looking. I personally drive an ex-police Crown Vic that was quite a bargain "they were practically giving them away" to quote the Blues Brothers.

Quitting a job you hate is hard but you've got to do it. Try and develop an "exit strategy", minimize expenses, prepare family, save money, have another job lined up before you quit this one (even if it isn't your dream job it will get you through). Being free of a bad job will open your mind to new opportunities.

Aren't you glad that you don't have to go through this with a hangover? Good luck!

caboblanco

these aren't too bad. see if you can find another job..maybe you can get some kind of loan for a new car...being you have a family..u need it!

zjw

car loans out of the question. I got the one i got now used and its been grief But I know its true people get used cars every day that are totally fine. This thing will fetch me 5grand I bet that doesnt buy me much to haul my family around (6 kids) So i might have to get something economical and just drive 2 cars if we all go somewhere.

Sure least i have 1 functioning car but it does not fit everyone either. I guess I'm simply scared my car options are not idea and I'm scared what sorta trouble i'll be getting with the next one. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll work out fine.

Gaffo I like your solution best to my job situation it makes a lot of sense. Its idealy what I'm thinking but money is so tight theres no room to save. I keep telling my wife we should sell the house get something smaller downsize some becuase if i loose this job because of my attitude which is a very real possibility I'm going to have to it anyway but it wont be on my terms and it will be much more difficult then. My attitude is absolutly toxic to this job and toxic to this field. I'm not sure it can be rescued not without a break first or like you said being free of a bad job.

doggonecarl

The size of one's problem is all perspective. You have a job, you have a car. There are any number of forum members on SR that would trade their problems for yours in a heartbeat.

That said, they are your problems and you have every right to make them as insurmountable as you want.

You say you loathe your job, but you didn't say what it is about your job that you hate so much. Perhaps the problem can be addressd while still employed. Hard to say without having more information.

GracieLou

One thing I noticed when I got sober was that I was less tolerant of some situations in my life when I was drinking.

I would have to say I got more content in my job and not because the job had changed or the people. One I was grateful to have one, second I stopped thinking that my way was the best or only way. I removed my thoughts from the day to day goings on. I come in, I do my job to the best of my ability and I go home. I no longer whine about how things should be done this way or that way. It is not my call. I get paid to do my job and that is what I do. When I am gone they are not going to place my resume on my headstone.

There are some jobs that suck but I can almost guarantee there is someone out there that would be grateful to have that sucky job.

That said, there are times that we can no longer accept certain situations in our lives. I have learned if there is a solution to my problem, then take the solution. Quit trying to endure it if it is going to cause you so much frustration and heartache that the only way you feel you can cope is to drink.

I know you have said to your wife you want to downsize but have you said that this situation may need to change or you will crack? I think that may need to be brought to the table. Be honest that this situation is more than you can handle. There are times we have to admit we cannot do everything and need help. Maybe your wife just needs to hear that with honestly and clarity.

zjw

Doggonecarl thats what I tend to do I tend to look at folks worse off and some much happier then I am and I have to try and put myself back into check and remind myself life could be worse. It is hard however as I'm tired of the battle. I see problems as relative to a degree someone cold have the simpliest of problems but they could be HUGE in there mind and every bit as scary as someone elses.

I say often I might be broke but at least I dont have a family member with cancer or something. There are worse problems to have.

Being thank ful its not worse helps but again it doesnt solve anything.

I got to thinking the other day like your saying perhaps it could be solved if i stayed there. For example one person i had problems tolerating quit and got a new job it made the job just that much more bearable.

The problems at my job are the ususal. A boss who has no respect for me or anyone and the work I do i no longer enjoy doing but rather just cant stand it anymore. Its a corporate job where everyone seems to be in survival mode trying to cover there own butts so they dont get the axe next its not really a fun environment.

I work from home thats my saving grace I dont have to face these people daily thank goodness. Thats why i also say maybe I"m just a baby? but it doesnt change the fact that i'm pulling my hair out none the less etc...

Over the years i've looked for other jobs but my wife prefers me being home honestly i'd like to be home but now my skills are dated there are not many jobs for someone that does what i do. I'm rather SOL if i loose this job I'll be changeing fields because theres no jobs for someone like me which might not be a bad thing since I kinda want out of this field anyhow but its scary and I might have to take a pay cut for a while we could loose the house if this is sprung on us rather then a planned exit like what was suggested above.

scary stuff maybe I'm just focusing on the what if's too much. its tough to stop my mind from doing that but I get scared I dont want to be surprised with a pink slip and have to scramble either. I'd like to be prepared and ahead fo the game.

alphaomega

I remind myself that some of our greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

And I actively choose to have complete faith in the Life Process.

zjw

True i keep telling myself there has gotta be some good reason for all this. In the meantime i'm wearing thin and getting tired.

I told myself years agoe I dont know how much more i can take with this job and here i am years later still taking it. Its sorta depressing. that here i am years later in the same boat.

It might not be so terrible if my attitude wasnt so toxic at his point. I"m at the point where i'll likly get fired or at least I should have been fired a long time ago. Its amazing it hasnt happened yet.

I keep praying for a job I can enjoy or at least make this one enjoyable once again.

doggonecarl

The best time to look for a new job is while you are employed.

In the meantime, there are any number of books available about reinventing your job, reinventing yourself, discovering your values and goals and finding ways to meet them, personal development, and leadership. Franklin Covey, Tom Peters, Wayne Dyer, Jason Fried, come to mind.

Solving problems is like recovery. Accomplishment comes from doing something about it.

zjw

its tough just now I spoke to my wife again about a few possible options and she rattled off the usual oh thats far you wouldnt be home you might have to take a pay cut. I just dont know about selling the house and down sizing etc..

I'm fighting an up hill battle. One idea i had would require me to be on the road a fair amt she was all about this idea. THen I thought it over and thought being on the road like that will drive her nuts. So i told her that I said you realize i'd be gone a lot and you wouldnt like that so this wont work.

I'm trying to find a solution that works for the both of us and our family but I gotta say sometimes I feel like I'm fighting an up hill battle with her. That being said we are talking about some rather big changes to our life here. But I'd prefer to make those changes now on my terms rather then with a pink slip in one hand. She'd prefer to put her head back in the sand and not think about it.

I just dunno what to do.

biminiblue

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

~Buddhist Proverb

SillyString

The advice I'd give you is the same I'd give anyone, alcoholic or not is to create a plan to get yourself a solution to the problem. First, envision what the solution would look like. Is it that you hate the line of work you're in, or do you just hate your employer? Either way, make a plan, start with baby steps to TAKE ACTION to change your situation.

Some steps might be, looking on job sites, like monster.com for new job opportunities in your area.

One thing is for SURE - if you take no action, nothing will change. You've got to be the person to say, "I've had enough of this, and I will look for other opportunities..." Then, I guarantee you won't feel so helpless...you will start to feel empowered that you are moving at least in a direction to go out and get what you want and need for your happiness.

I know you can do it!

Coldfusion

I find the program of AA to be helpful in repairing damage from the past and living a successful life. The program actually PROMISES "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.... ... economic insecurity will leave us..."

In fact, I got my current job from someone I met at an AA meeting.

seek

What steps have you taken to get a new job? That sounds like it would fix both of your big problems . . .