zerothehero

I would like to get "addicted" to mindfulness and meditation because the practice seemed to be working for me - but it is work. I don't gravitate to it naturally. In fact, my addictions demonstrate that I gravitate to the opposite of mindfulness. I recently realized that several months of meditation and practice and reading books on mindfulness led to a premature and false sense that I had moved on. I quit practicing - and PAWS caught up to me.

I feel I had a strong genetic predisposition combined with environment. My pattern with alcohol was frighteningly similar to my mom's. Like me, it took her 40 years to realize she was an alcoholic, in part because we both could moderate on days we had to work in the morning, but we both would binge on weekends. I don't think I learned this as much as I was given genes that allowed it. We "functioned" when we had to and buried our heads in the sand when we could.

We're an Irish family that did not communicate our feelings except when drunk, and then it was awkward and muddled. Someone dies, get plastered. Someone getting married, get screaming drunk. I had plenty to drink in the womb, and I was served whisky as an infant and small child when I had a cold. From the first time I drank it "felt right." My body would just smile and say, "Now, THAT's the stuff." Now, my brain is wired to that whether it was genetic in the first place or not.

Mindfulness philosophy is a reminder that I learned to avoid feelings and preferred trancing out. This was probably mostly environmental, but I think genetics somewhat set me up. This is not making an excuse; it just is what it is.

zerothehero

I've suffered anxiety attacks. But I have a question: What is a "normal childhood"?

Aellyce

Zero, if you think that these practices and information helped you - would it be a possibility for you to find some company to discuss these things with in your 3D world? A buddy (or more) that is similarly interested in mindfulness and meditation? Have some sort of regular meetings with them to exchange information and experiences, learn from each-other etc?

I find that in my case, while I am a quiet and relatively introverted person in my 3D life, I love to have friends with shared interests, and interact with them regularly. Not all the time, but keep in touch, share, do activities together that are centered around our interests etc. I find these types of connections always enrich my life greatly and can also provide reinforcement to keep exploring the shared areas of interest, the other person, etc.

I know that you don't have as many "real life" opportunities around you to find friends based on specific interests, but maybe there is someone you don't know of yet? In the context of mindfulness and meditation, I think it would not even be necessary that the others are also addicts or even familiar with addiction. People are interested in these things for many different reasons.

Btw, there is another level of information transmission / modification that can also be inherited in some cases, other that "genetic" (basically our DNA sequence). This other level is known as "epigenetics", and by now it's been documented in the scientific literature that such epigenetic mechanisms play key roles in the development of many psychiatric disorders, including addiction. It's also how the environment, early life experiences, can affect our brains and overall biology in very powerful, often persistent ways. You can look up info on epigenetics online, there is tons. Maybe I'll find a good brief summary and post here later. It's a pretty fascinating area of contemporary biological research.

zerothehero

The epigenetic landscape of addiction

Epigenetics? - Addiction: the epigenetic effect - Epigenome NOE

To me this either settles or complicates the nature/nurture controversy. Environment is a biological influence and our biology acts upon the environment. It seems to me that separating the two is a false dichotomy.

Regardless, addicts have changed their brain chemistry and structure, especially a guy like me who experimented with many drugs for decades and kept returning to a few favorites until finally sinking into an alcoholic retreat from my internal and external realities. The result? My brain is all kinds of jacked up. Sometimes I think it is a horrible tragedy, and other times I think it's hilarious.

There is one group in this rural enclave of mine that practices meditation together on Sundays. Though I find the folks I know who are involved somewhat annoying, I may try to suspend judgement and join them if for no other reason than to force myself to meditate for more extended periods of time. I can rarely sit still for more than ten minutes. Meditation in a group could maybe help me learn some discipline. Still, even five or ten minutes once or twice a day yields benefits. I got the wake up call this week and I'm getting back to it...

Aellyce

Haha, you've found articles written by some people I know
So, that's part of my field also. Thanks, you have done my job

I think it's often recommended that we increase our meditation time gradually. Kinda taper up. 5-10 mins per day can be enough in the beginning and you can stick with that for a long time until you feel comfortable with more. Don't think it makes much sense to "push" meditation, and don't think it can even be done effectively. Another reason why experimenting with methods can be helpful - it's well known that some people prefer one technique, others like different kinds. I also personally find that trying to stick with a routine in a way that I time my sessions ~ for the same time of day, helps. This way it can become a habit with time that we actually want to follow. Not addiction, just a habit that the brain will remember if we teach it (via some of those epigenetic mechanisms and a few others).

Aellyce

On separating them: yes and no. In reality, these systems in nature (or in our cells) function as a whole, they are linked both physically and mechanistically, with very complex regulatory networks. They can be separated physically, though, to a certain extent: the different components such as the genetic material (DNA) and the epigenetic machinery (those things you can read about in the articles, that regulate and can modify the information processing function of the DNA) can be purified as different fractions biochemically.

The most common and simplest analogy that is used also in school to explain: imagine beads on a string. The string is the genetic material with our genes (DNA) and the beads are those epigenetic regulators that control how the information content of the DNA can be manifested (we use the word "expressed") in each cell. Of course it's much more complicated than that, and since this is one of the most dynamically evolving fields of biology currently, there is something new discovered kinda daily.

Going back to your point: in a living organism these different molecules and levels of regulation cannot be separated, because disrupting them would be either lethal or at least severely destructive. However, those epigenetic regulators can be very sensitive and receptive to effects from the environment, and those can lead to many persistent alterations, which in turn can also lead to modifications in how our genetic material expresses its information content. So, these things are never isolated but act as complex systems.

Also, there are periods in the life of an individual where these mechanisms are especially vulnerable to environmental effects (including drugs and alcohol), such as before birth during development in our mom's womb, or early childhood and adolescence.

So basically epigenetics explains a lot of the nature/nurture concept on a biological basis.

It's not only scary, though, because just like these things are vulnerable to negative influences from environment, they are also sensitive to positive ones, which can also lead to long term functional changes, and some of these may "correct" disruptive earlier influences. How do recovery methods work, for example? Pretty similar.

The brain is amazingly plastic and is able to respond to whatever affects it, one reason why it's never too late to change and there is never a "hopeless" case. It just requires changes, lots of changes, as we know even without biology.