Cow

I find is very hard to try to explain addiction to someone who has not have they own experience. I use to say to friend who ask me why I just not stop using, "Asking alcoholic to just stop drinking is like asking diabetic to just stop hasing diabetes." Well, that usually get great big scoff and eye-roll! But I does understand, from they perspective, alcoholism is like watching somebody deliberate drink poison till they destroys they life. So, how dares you compare that to diabetes or cancers or something.

So today, instead, I says, "Asking alcoholic just stop drinking is like asking schizophrenic to just stop talking to they self." This, I find, kind of stop them and make them pause. They can accept much better if put in context of a mental disease.

I then go on to explain that both alcoholism and schizophrenia is mental AND physiological disorder. I find people seem to be more open to "get it" if I explain this way.

I curious if other have effective method for such conversations.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, so okay, I can relate as both a schizo and recovered alcoholic, lol. Sure, I "get it" hahaha.

doggonecarl

So far I haven't felt compelled to explain alcoholism or addiction to someone who doesn't understand it.

They can google the answer if they are that curious.

zjw

i know a couple that dont get it. drives me nuts that they seem to think its just so simple to quit an addiction. I could scream. But they will never get it so wtvr it is what it is. thats been my expierience anyhow.

Dee74

It's like trying to explain Anglo Saxon to the person in the street

After a few times they may glean what it is (it's a version of the Our Father prayer) - but it's still mostly incomprehensible...

D

zjw

lol dee74 so your saying its like trying to nail jello to the wall?

Cow

^Yes, okay you all. I know this. But you has to TRY, no? Because some of my friend/family sincere that they not understand. I think just to say, "I sorry, you no possible understand if you not has been there" is not helpful. We has to try, no? Otherwise alcoholic will always be misunderstood.

Recently my brother was face with hasing his job description re-categorize, which mean huge life change for him as far as monies, vacation time, hours, etc. He very upset, cuz he Senior of his department and this after 20+ year of service for this company. He fighting re-classification, and he talk about it to me endlessly. He cannot think of much else and he not sleeping over it and one day he tell me, "This so weird, I never been so consume by anything!" And I say... "Well now you know how I feels every single day."

BAM!

MIRecovery

My wife is extremely supportive and knowledgeable about addiction and has listened to me babble about it for years. While she knows far more than most in reality she doesn't have a clue.

The only people that really understand are fellow addicts/alcoholics.

I do not think you can explain insane behavior to sane people

Cow

I not so sure. I has friends who has other mental disorder, and though at first I think, damn, they nuts I still come to understands it.

polaris

Ive actually seen some pretty good descriptions in my time...but Im viewing those as an addict - so my perspective is going to be different from those who arent obviously.

yeahgr8

I like Dee's post very much!

I would say yes I can give analogies and try and describe addiction but most of it will seem like rocket science to the non-addict, even a non-addict who is involved with an addict.

SillyString

I do try to explain it, but I never feel like they get it. Normal drinkers, or non-drinkers do not understand my desire to drink it all, any more than I can understand how they are satisfied with one beer. I understand it intellectually, but not from experience. I never wanted only one. My brain lights up like a Christmas tree when alcohol is added.

Carlotta

I think maybe a closer comparison would be someone with OCD. They keep doing something compulsively, they don't want to do it, it's driving them nuts yet they just cannot resist the urge.

Cow

I actual does understand someone who want just one drink, cuz to me, is like imagine you drinking water or hot cocoa or apple cider -you not really want more to keep it rolling 'till you passes out! You "satisfied." Whereas with the booze, we never satisfied!

I think OCD is, in fact, more similar to alcoholic condition, but most "normal" people also think OCDs should just 'stop washing you hands!' -so they not get that either! They still think is 'self-control' issue. Whereas most people get that schizophrenics does not has control.

zjw

yep you cant have a rational conversation with an irrational person. you cant reason with an unreasonable person. the list goes on sometimes its just best to walk the other way.

i've had a few run ins where I think why am i trying to make sense out of an individual that clearly makes no sense at all.

gaffo

I like using some approximation of Step 1, "Alcohol made my life unmanageable...". It usually works. The funny thing is I have never even been to a meeting. Once again, AA has my back!

babycat

I made a post a year or so ago after watching "Hoarders." It made me think about my own addiction and how very few really understand it. Admittedly, I want to smack the people holding onto absolute junk and when they cry about having to give it up. Why is it so hard?! It's junk!
We really are no different. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but we continue to do it. Why is it so hard?! It's poison!
Addiction runs hard and strong in my family. I hate it. I am envious of those who do not have to deal with it and at the same time, I am irritated. Unless you know this hell, you just don't really know.

karate

Agreed , I find no reason to explain

Cow

Reason to explain is so you family and friend pity you instead of thinking you just weak self-destructive loser malcontent. I rather has understanding, but will take the pity over judgement and scorn.

Is just me. I has lack of solace problem. Last time I go to ER after terrible binge, friend who took me reached over and took my hand and said "I'm sorry you go through this." I ball my eyes out just thinking of this kindness. I would like more kindnesses from those around me.

SoberLeigh

Sending you a virtual raw steak for breakfast, sweet Cow.