How does you explain alcoholism to someone with no experience of addiction?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Cow 
Is interesting to me that most people is saying they just not try to explain it, cuz no point, impossible for other to understand. I get that, but that not Cow at all.
To peoples I care about, I wish to try to explain why I has gone so so SO awry. Even if they not understand, is still me opening to share deep secret and intimate struggles with them. And they share other thing with me. They has other various mental/physical/emotional 'disorders' and I does try to understand.
And if is not possible to understand, such as I would no ever pretend to understand what Robot is been through, still, every time he speak about his self, it expand my perception and appreciation of him.
To peoples I care about, I wish to try to explain why I has gone so so SO awry. Even if they not understand, is still me opening to share deep secret and intimate struggles with them. And they share other thing with me. They has other various mental/physical/emotional 'disorders' and I does try to understand.
And if is not possible to understand, such as I would no ever pretend to understand what Robot is been through, still, every time he speak about his self, it expand my perception and appreciation of him.
Likewise I'm sure. 
You know guys, friendships are really where its at when we can express ourselves and we're not so much explaining ourselves out as much as we are trusting our friendships to fill in the blanks for us. Sharing is caring. This includes our best and worst whatever's shared with our friends in kind.
I don't really want others to understand me same as I understand myself. I'm already all stocked up on me. I do appreciate sharing with others and receiving back their own understanding of me. I think this works well all around for most people. I want my friendships to live in my heart and not so much live in my head, lol. I don't need intellectual understanding of my whatever's as much as I need emotional connectedness and inter-dependence with my friends, family, and others.
Not everything needs to be explained out so exactly that people can't relate. I'm not concerned if non-addicts understand my alcoholism. I don't for the life of me understand how they never became addicts themselves in their own rights, lol. The fact they haven't astounds me to no end.
So, I guess the world is unfolding as it should after all...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by caboblanco
in my experience people don't want to hear about your problems. For the most part being needy is a really bad personal trait. If it wasn't for sr i wouldn't have anywhere to talk about addiction or other things that are bothering me. i would never try to make someone understand my addiction..my addiction has nothing to do with them. This is a journey I take alone.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Cabo, you make me want to give you hug. Sorry if that cloying. But I not think wanting people who you cares about to understand you struggles is being needy. Everybody have struggles.
Having say that, I for sure, especially in my professional world, has ton of 'fair weather' friend who does no want to hear about my problem, and will, in facts, drop me like hot potato if I was honest with them, so in this cases I STFU! So, one does has to be discerning.
In general though, I total understands what Cabo is saying. Nobody really care about you problems all that much. They has they own problems. And if you problem is carry on for year after year, well, it can become tedious, yes? But still, is like any other mental illness/physiological condition that was 'in closet' for so long. If we not talk openly about it, we never gonna really bring it into light and out of place of shame. I not want to feel like I can ONLY talk about addiction to other addict. For one thing, all addicts is NOT the same. At all! For other thing, I not think should be exclusive club, like transgenders or bipolar --bring it out, it REAL, let's talk.
Having say that, I for sure, especially in my professional world, has ton of 'fair weather' friend who does no want to hear about my problem, and will, in facts, drop me like hot potato if I was honest with them, so in this cases I STFU! So, one does has to be discerning.
In general though, I total understands what Cabo is saying. Nobody really care about you problems all that much. They has they own problems. And if you problem is carry on for year after year, well, it can become tedious, yes? But still, is like any other mental illness/physiological condition that was 'in closet' for so long. If we not talk openly about it, we never gonna really bring it into light and out of place of shame. I not want to feel like I can ONLY talk about addiction to other addict. For one thing, all addicts is NOT the same. At all! For other thing, I not think should be exclusive club, like transgenders or bipolar --bring it out, it REAL, let's talk.
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