FeelingGreat

Before I stopped drinking I noticed a friend at a party, usually a heavy drinker, was on soft drinks. He told me he didn't drink any more, and I asked a few more questions. Not sensitive of me in retrospect. But the reason I was asking was that I thought maybe I could do the same, because I was worried about perhaps being an alcoholic.
So if people question you a bit, don't assume they're challenging your decision. They might just use you as an example. That said, if it makes you uncomfortable there are lots of suggestions for changing the subject.

MattyBoy

I've found the people who have ever shown a genuine interest in why I'm not drinking are people who drink too much themselves and are clearly acutely aware of this fact. Other people may ask out of simple curiosity or a way to initiate friendly conversation in a non judgemental way but really they don't care what you're doing. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own universe that even if they have a fleeting, momentary thought along the lines of 'hmm it's a bit odd this guy doesn't drink alcohol', it's a thought that will very quickly be forgotten .

I think it would be unrealistic to expect that no one will ever ask the question but it's important to remember that in the majority of case they're asking the question in a non judgemental way, purely out of curiosity. Those who push the question further will almost invariably be heavy drinkers who feel your sobriety is a threat to their drinking.

Stoogy

It's one of this social issues we face, I just say working tomorrow or just not in the mood for a headache and most people respect a non drinker in my experiences. It's usually worst when it's a works night out but the following day at work makes up for it when your head is clear and the others are clearly suffering.

BikerAcct

I don't get asked that too often. But, as I'm quickly coming up on one year sober, I've noticed I've started telling the truth in a round about way.

If it's from someone who knows I used to drink (though by now they all know I'm not) I just say, "I found I was beginning to like it a bit TOO much, so I figured it was better for me to just stop." I've been pleasantly surprised at how many people give me a pat on the back and congratulate me.

Most friends, I truly believe, want us to succeed at whatever we do. Even, quitting drinking.

Mountainmanbob

those are the true friends
all others we should keep an eye on from a distance
MM

matt4x4

You have to drink in order to stay alive, that is the simple fact of the matter. You can only survive 3 to 5 days without water. So next time a police officer at a check-stop asks you if you have been drinking, you have to say "Yes officer", then when he says how much you say "Honestly officer I do not pay attention to how much I drink, I just drink that is what I do".

Ryno03272009

$5,000 later and after being ordered out of your vehicle, handcuffed and booked at the PD, given a court date and hired a lawyer who gets cause thrown out due to lack of evidence sufficient for arrest... You will realize why saying something as this person suggested was a bad idea.

Holli

My mom of all people grilled me the other day, and I used the antibiotics excuse. Tho it isn't really true -- only a small handful of antibiotics are impacted by alcohol consumption.

Holli

So true, even with family. I have observed that some people with drinking problems of their own don't seem to like it when we quit.

Aellyce

I don't like the idea of using excuses. When people ask whether I want a drink, I say any of these, depending on situation:
"No, thanks."
"Thanks, I don't drink."
"Thanks, I don't drink these days."
Don't recall anyone ever asking why during my ~2 months of sobriety so far. Sometimes friends make innocent jokes and I respond back with a joke.
If someone asked me why, I would probably say "I just don't enjoy it anymore" or "I had some health concerns and decided to stop".

I did tell the recovery story to a couple close friends that I trust.

None of these are lies. Luckily I don't need to deal with insensitive former drinking buddies and the sorts, or family members who like to party, but if I had to, would use what I wrote above. It's nobody's business.

Ryno03272009

There is a book I was given early in my sobriety titled "Living Sober." In that book it says the following which is relevant to your question of what to tell others and what they will think when they learn you are not drinking... "The newly sober alcoholic wonders what to answer if drinking friends and relatives say such things as 'come have a drink.'; 'What are you drinking?'; 'Why, you can't be an alcoholic!'; 'Don't you drink?'; 'Just one won't hurt.'; 'Why aren't you drinking?'... and the like. To our relief, we found that these questions come up less often than expected, and our answers seem to have much less importance than we thought they would have. Our not drinking creates less of a stir than we feared it would."

Living Sober then later explains that you know you best and "your own intelligence will lead you to the one [answer to why you are not drinking] that works best and is most comfortable for you. More importantly, you should not feel the need to defend ourselves and our choice to not drink. The book recommends some simple answers to the above examples of questions such as: "I am not drinking now." or "I am not drinking today (or this week)." or the most simplest form being "No thanks." or a more straight forward "I don't care for any." ; "I've had my share."; "I've had all I can handle." ; "I found it doesn't agree with me. These can all be truthful answers.

I wish you the best with your sobriety and just remember to take things one day at a time and quite simply "don't drink."

karate

I have told people during periods of being stopped -

Used a term I heard my grandad use " I already drank my boxcar load "

Friend of mine says " they can make whiskey faster than I can drink it ,
I had to give in , could not keep up"

matt4x4

Ture True. Then I can sue 'em for a couple million and get the police officer fired, cuz I'd have it all on tape.

Nickk

Hi Guys - an interesting subject.

I've been inspired by this forum to give up drinking. But
I am very well known locally for my drinking - not in a bad way more in a "that Nick's a bit of a ****head but a good laugh" way

I'm just going to be completely honest. I'm not embarrassed by my alcoholism its just a fact of my life that I now want to try to change

I think telling people (If they ask) will if anything, help me.

It is after all its an illness not a weakness

Ifnotforgrace

These days.. very Few people I know drink, so most don't ask, but to those who do offer a cocktail I say no thanks, (the end).

freethinking

Nobody ended up asking me last night - I think it helped that I always had a REd Bull in hand.

ScottFromWI

Good to hear. I think you will find that people not asking is the norm. Hope you had a good time!

freethinking

I did, and it felt soooooo good not waking up hungover this morning or wondering how I embarassed myself!

GreenEggsAndHam

Last night was my first night out with old friends who I have gotten plastered with hundreds of times and not one of them asked why I was drinking sweet tea instead of beer.

I find people don't really care one way or the other. Just my experience so far.

Tiptree

"No thank you" or "I'm not drinking today" should suffice. People or events where you'll be grilled about not drinking should be avoided, at least early on.

I do use more caffeine now that I'm sober but find that if I over do it I get the wired sensation that I used to medicate with alcohol, so please be careful with the red bull!