freethinking

I am going to my girlfriend's 50th tomorrow. I am not worried as, strangely enough, parties are not a big deal for me in terms of not drinking (it is day-to-day living with being a stay at home mom that is hard for me). My husband will be by my side and I'll be bringing Red Bulls to drink. But last time I went to a party, I really got grilled by a couple of people, separately, on why I wasn't drinking. I usually just say "I don't feel like it", but for some people that doesn't suffice (probably because I have been known to overdo it at BUNCO nights, etc). I am not one to ever tell my friends I am an alcoholic, so I don't want people suspecting I don't drink because I have an issue with alcohol.

What do you say when people act incredulous over the fact that you aren't partaking in drinking?

Raider

Nothing. Say nothing.

Michael66

I just say that I gave up a little while back, and I feel very much better for it. But it's not too common that I'm asked.

In my family, outside my immediate family, I told people I was drinking too much.

The response I have got usually is one of slightly wistful admiration. I think there are an awful lot of people who would like to drink less.

Db1105

I simply tell them I don't drink. If they press, I just ask them what don't they understand about I don't drink. I find most people don't really notice or care.

robgt350

i jsut say i have to drive, or i dont want too

CAPTAINZING2000

Carry that red bull or what ever it is you're going to drink have it in your hand and that should suffice for the most part.
Health reasons is a good enough answer.

SoberLeigh

The conversation doesn't usually get beyond the "no thanks" or "not right now, thanks" stage but if it does, I usually say "I am changing things up a bit; trying to make healthier decisions", etc.

Mrmellow11

I just tell them I don't drink and I'm very proud to say that

ImperfectlyMe

In the beginning I use to make up silly excuses, running in the am, antibiotics, dieting.

Now I just say,"I just don't drink". I've only been pushed past that once recently and my responce was, "why does my not drinking bother you do much? Is it because my not drinking makes you think about your own drinking". They politely piped down and moved along

In time you will get a kick out of being the one turning down drinks, it's quite empowering!

Mrmellow11

Yeah for me I'm 33 years old way too old to worry about what people think about me....I love having the self control of not wanting or needing a drink

least

I just say "I don't drink" and if necessary, repeat it til they get it.

Mountainmanbob

Either I'm not drinking today
Or I don't drink
Or I've already had enough

Note
I have not been asked this question for
a very long time

MM

Music

I'm not shy. I just tell people I don't drink. If they say anything, I've been known to say, "you wouldn't like me if I drink" or I just ignore them. People I care about, support me. People who argue with me or get pushy, I don't like.

Anna

"No, thanks".

jdooner

careful with the Red Bulls - they can increase anxiety for me.

I am open now but my wife is often concerned about what other people will think. I have found if you need to lie to get through the early days, Lyme disease and on the antibiotics. You could say they were not sure but I had some symptoms and a red dot that might have been a spider or a tick bite and so they put me on these antibiotics for 30 days and said there is no way I can drink at all.

I doubt anyone would question you

doggonecarl

When I was a week sober I didn't go anywhere near where that question would even come up.

Three and a half years sober, that's still a good policy for me.

Pondlady

When I first quit, I fretted about this question. Honestly, I didn't place myself in a position where I'd be asked about it....kind of wrapped myself in a comforting, secure cocoon

These days, I just order whatever I want to drink, without ever thinking about it. I'm so glad to not drink....so much healthier and happier

afloatsober

Assuming i;m in the mood to tell them i just say that i can't cos i had all mine at once. Leaves them scratching their head!
If i'm in serious and sensible mode i tell them the other truth. It makes me very ill, and i spare 'em the gory details...

ScottFromWI

Quite frankly I've never been asked. I was afraid I would be at first, but then I realized that it was really just me being obsessed with my lack of drinking vs anyone else caring. People really don't care in the least for the most part.

If you truly do have friends that "grill you" on why you arent' drinking you honestly might want to find some different ones. They have no place in the life of a sober person.

newwestdork

I was really worried about what I'd say when I quit drinking, but honestly just saying "I've quit drinking" was enough for 99% of the time.

My friends, family and acquaintances all knew I had a pretty bad problem with alcohol and I think it was pretty clear to them why I'd given it up.

I think if you say "I am not feeling like it tonight" you might get people trying to twist your arm to "loosen up" or "have some fun," but if you just state outright that "I am not drinking" most people get the picture that you really aren't going to drink, period.