flutter

5+ years sober here. Luckily I didn't read about those dismal stats until I was well into my recovery journey. Relapse isn't inevitable, and it's not part of recovery.

angstfull

Thanks all for you input. So far so good with the group. I have two rather specific triggers for the booze. Expect to be spending a LOT of time digging into those. I do appreciate being reminded to ignore statistics. The way I figure it if I don't succeed I will screw up a daughter's life that I adore and I do not want to do that.

A year ago I was diagnosed with cancer that had not spread but was told that if it were to spread it would be to the lungs. I had dealt with some prior medical trauma and that was the straw that broke the camel's back-I became an alcoholic in some screwed up way in my own mind to try and cope with the stress of the every three month CAT scans. In late January (this year) a scan came back suspicious and docs were convinced that it had spread. VERY bad time. Hubbie caught me drinking with my hidden stash and that was it. I went through lung surgery on Feb 14th only to find out I DON'T have a recurrence at all, was some benign thing. So now I'm an alcoholic but don't have cancer. Fun times. Sadly I'm afraid that its almost a relief to get my booze problem out in the open and be able to be open and honest about it. Living a double life is HARD. I only ever drank at home and totally in secret and all of this sneaking around was exhausting.

All of that said thank you for your support and your reminders of "you can DO IT."

-No so Angstfull today:-)

Lovenjoy

Hi angstfull - so glad you've started this journey to a better life! And relapse is not a requirement! I had a hard time with all the talk of relapse when I first got sober, really thought it was inevitable from all the talk. I have never relapsed in 16 years. In early days it was probably from pure pig headedness but now it is simply because I love recovery and the life it allows me to live. I also work my recovery everyday so it always stays fresh!

My son recently completed an IOP and he had a real hard time with all the talk of relapse. We discussed it often and we both kinda felt maybe the professionals could be a little clearer about why they include so much on this? We came to the conclusion that the professionals are hoping if people relapse that they will know it doesn't mean they have blown their recovery. Soldier on after, don't let it derail the process. But when new in recovery relapse talk seems to have the response of fear and discouragement, of which you mentioned. Please don't concentrate on the possibility of relapse. Concentrating on recovery and all the joy which will grow in your life is much more motivating to me! Maybe talk about this in group? My son did and got awesome feedback and many new people were glad to have the topic brought to the discussion.

I also have a physical ailment which was diagnosed 30+ years ago. At that time I was told I would be in a wheelchair within 10 years. Has never happened and hopefully never will! We find our own truths as we heal whatever hurts. Wishing you all the best and thanks for this thread. It's great to hear everyone's success stories and many are happening as we speak. Including yours!

kcvalentine

Hey! I was an active alcoholic for 8 years and by the end my husband and I were each drinking a fifth of vodka every day, so just under a half gallon between us a day. Things were so awful and obviously unmanageable. I quit drinking about two and a half years ago (next week will mark my 900th day without a drink!) and he now only drinks occasionally. I've never had a relapse and our lives are completely different now. I went to a few AA meetings and thought they were great, but decided instead I would use yoga, meditation and mindfulness as my main tools for recovery.

You don't have to relapse. Recovery is totally achievable!! There is hope but you have to be solid in the way you manage your addiction. You have to replace the time and effort you spent drinking or recovering from drinking with healthy activities. I know it sounds simple or maybe trite but I made a pact with myself that no matter what happens I will never drink again. NEVER. And I've just stuck with that pact through thick and thin. Now I hardly ever think about drinking and I don't miss it because it completely messed up so much of my life. Being sober is something I cherish and wholeheartedly appreciate. This forum is fantastic too.

Good luck! I'll be pulling for you! xoxox

kcvalentine

Lovenjoy brings up many great points - and one I would also like to emphasize: You can't become complacent in your recovery. You're going to be managing your addiction for the rest of your life. You have to be vigilant and honest with yourself so you don't slip back into your old habits. I mean it's not like your addiction is lurking behind every corner...well maybe in the beginning it is, but once you've been in recovery for a while you can lean into your experience a bit. But you have to remember to watch yourself. You have to work on healing the trauma that brought out your addiction in the first place.

I had a hard time taking that in at first - the knowledge that I would never be cured of my addiction. Now I have come to understand that managing my addiction makes me a better person because I make conscious choices for solid reasons. I work on myself every single day so that I achieve the goals that mean the most to me.