myheartaches

I made it through a night at the bar without drinking- and it feels great!

My boyfriend's band plays gigs in bars and last night was my first night at a show since I quit and I didn't touch even one drop of alcohol! And the best part was that I didn't feel tempted, I felt powerful, in fact, that I could drink cranberry and soda water and not have to pay a dime, and even a diet Pepsi, which I actually detest most of the time. But I stuck it through and had a good time and drove my boyfriend and I home safely, soberly at 2am without a hiccup.

I woke up today and felt great about that accomplishment. And it wasn't even that hard. I just made up my mind and stuck to it.

jdooner

Good for you. I did the same last night. Danced for the first time sober - ever.

caboblanco

yeah for me the bar wasn't really a trigger ..I especially like checking my wallet at the end of the night with a stack of bills still in there..unless of course I met a cute gal that likes top shelf martinis...I realized i became a designated driver really quick when i stopped drinking...I should start charging

BradJustBrad

Well done, MHA!

Aiko

Really pleased for you myheartaches!!!

It is hard to go to Gigs sober!
And you done it

But be careful if you have a bad day do NOT GO!!!
Because your head will play with you to do it!
My own experience I only go out to a bar If I feel stable,
If I am upset or got problems I can not Go!
The pull is too strong at those moments is better to stay away!
But if you feel fine and strong you can go no problem

Glad you decided:
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE DRUNK TO LIVE LIFE!!!

matt4x4

I made this fatal mistake. Drinking coke up at the bar, trying to recapture old times without booze. I failed miserably. I never did go to a whorehouse just for a kiss. So why would I play games? I still had an alcoholic mind. I need to have a very good reason today to be going to a bar, club, or funtion where booze is the primary activity. Then I need to have a game plan, an exit strategy.

1newcreation

I'm happy mha for making it.
Undstd the valid reason for supporting your bf for his job I take it. But since idk how long you've been sober it's hard to decide whether long term it's a good idea. It's sounds as if this just started so must be new @ trying sobriety;if you must, take someone w/ you or only go once a mth. But as Matt shared, if 'twas me, I wouldn't risk it

afloatsober

Nice that you got away with it. Wouldn't make a habit of it though. Keep going to the hairdresser enough you'll end up with a haircut

readerbaby71

Good for you! Glad you had a good time and stayed strong.

myheartaches

I understand all the cautions and appreciate the support.

BumbleBee

Thank you for sharing this! It makes me hopeful!

2muchpain

You have more guts than I do, but then maybe you have more sober time than me. I'd be afraid just the smell of alcohol might set my AV off, let alone the atmosphere. When I go to work, and smell something that smells like alcohol on another person, (probably cologne ) it makes me think of drinking. That's tough enough for me right now.

Madness2813

Well done. Hopefully I can get to there with time. My bar is home tho. I don't really go out too much to bars and clubs anymore.

JackieC

I went out last night and heard a band for the first time too! First time in 11 weeks of sobriety. Just like you, got a cranberry and tonic and ended up, after an initial panic, having a fantastic time. Dancing, laughing, the whole bit, until 1 am. And yes, drove my friends home and LOVED driving home with no fear.

Once I got past that first scared moment when we arrived and everyone headed for the bar, then I had not one craving. And contrary to being a trigger -- I found the smell of alcohol to be repulsive. And watching everyone get tanked made me soooooo glad that wasn't me. So in way, it really ended up confirming my choice for sobriety. Yay!

Well-done and thanks for the post!
Jackie

tomsteve

im glad ya made it through...THAT time. I sure hope you or any other people here early in recovery don't make a habit of it. its dangerous ground. ive been there. I stopped drinking back in the 90's. I loved to shoot pool. so I went to the bar to shoot pool. no intention of drinking. it didn't take long and I had a drink in my hand. it was another 10 or so years before I got sober.
hang around the barbershop long enough and I will eventually get my hair cut.

SilentCinemaFan

I think it's up to the individual ultimately. If you are having a great day and have a game plan incase certain scenarios pop up, you're good to go. If you make the mistake of deciding a drink is fine, then you shouldn't chance it anymore and you've learned from your mistake hopefully. However just because you can't drink anymore doesn't mean you should isolate yourself from the rest of the world. That's also a recipe for a potential relapse as well so just try and keep balanced.

If you can't enjoy bands at a business that specializes in alcoholic beverages, without being triggered or AV talking, then you shouldn't go to them.

I have been to a few places to mainly watch the live music without feeling tempted to drink. IT also helps I have a best friend that doesn't drink. She's not an alcoholic she just hates the taste of alcohol. We both order ice waters and enjoy the music. It's easier for me when I go with a sober friend.

I'd say, enjoy your life anywhere and avoid situations when you aren't feeling your best, got in an argument with someone, or are just simply feeling vulnerable. We all have those kind of days and it's fine.

myheartaches

Hi SilentCinemaFan,

Thank you for your response. I think you sound very intelligent and make perfect sense, I believe that this disease can be overcome, the same way smoking cigarettes can, and has for me.

I smoked for a long time, and I'm not old yet. I went through almost every stage of fighting and embracing it before I finally decided to make the decision for myself and not due to the influence, pressure, or dirty looks I was getting from others.

I will never go back on that decision, and I am around smokers and smoking periodically, but it doesn't tempt me at all. In fact, it makes me hate it even more and wish that everyone would quit, even though I don't lecture anyone. But at the same time, I'm not going to avoid family functions and gatherings because other people there may be smoking. I don't wish to be around it, but I'm not going to let it get in my way, or drag me down.

I feel my approach to alcohol can be the same.

In fact, I want to keep going to my boyfriend's shows, and getting wings on Monday nights, and watching hockey games, I just don't want to drink alcohol anymore.

karate

You just seem to found out the same thing I did .

Once you decide ,Its really no will power required . Not a struggle -imo

freshstart57

I can't imagine getting a haircut if I didn't make the active decision to have one. No barber works for free and I need to pay them, that's one reason. They aren't really that sneaky, I can spot em a mile away, they have those scissors an stuff. And that cape around the neck thing is a dead giveaway too.

MyHeartAches, congratulations to you. You had a very good reason to be there, you had a plan and you worked it. This strengthens that sober muscle, and shows you that you can of course make that right decision. You have the ability to choose the NO option. Well done.

afloatsober

He,he. Never been addicted to the barbers either, but then i am folliclly challenged.....