Rickh54

I spent a few minutes on the AA chat room last nite. Just wanted to get a feel for it. I have not attended an AA meeting and really havent felt the need to.
After telling my story and how I have embraced this site and all of you fine folks, I was told by several of the chatters that I would fail and would be drinking again in no time if I didnt get my butt to an AA meeting, study the Big Book, make changes to my life and embrace the AA way.
I felt like a real loser after talking to them. I am doing just fine with SR and my own determination to stay off the drink. Cant predict the future, but either can they. I dont but the one day at a time BS. I am looking out much much farther than that as my goal. Like never.
This sight is so positive and comforting. Everyone gets constructive advice and encouragment whether your last drink was 10 minutes ago or 10 years ago. We are all fighting the same demon. And that wont change.
I will make it. Failure is not an option that I wish to experience.
Rational Recovery makes far more sense to me.
AA has and will worked for years for many many people. I just dont feel its for me.
Your thoughts and comments are appreciated.
Thanks for listening

FBL

Hey, Rick. I'm now over 4 1/2 years sober with just SR and support from a few key friends and family members. Don't let anyone stand in the way of your sobriety...after all, it's your life. Stick around SR, you'll get plenty of support.

Rickh54

Thank you. I intend to stick around drinking my club soda.

trudgingagain

I did AA for 8 years, then 3 and then 4. Now I live in a place where there are no meetings. I just quit myself one day and have been only using SR. It's working so far...lots of support here...Somehow I had also been "convinced" that I needed meetings to stay sober (or get sober). That worked "then" ...this is working "now". Best of luck!

advbike

I went to lots of AA meetings during earlier attempts to stop drinking, however I would get tired of the drunkalogs and all-consuming approach - almost like replacing one addiction with another. I have no problem with the higher power concept, but found it hard to relate to some of the stories of destruction and loss... I just wanted to stop relying on 3-4 drinks a day to cope with anxiety and stress.

SR has worked well for me and even my therapist supports it as an alternative, although though he is a big AA proponent. I will say however, that some people do need more from a program, with face to face support, and AA can work better for them.

Dee74

I'm sorry you had a bad experience Rick.

AA's responsible for saving the lives of many of my friends - what you got was not the AA message I hear from them.

Thanks for the kudos tho - SR is a great place

I moved this from the Daily Support forum.

D

Bostonsportsfan

I like AA online. It's good support.

MB8

Advbike. That post totally helps me out I also was an everyday 3-4 drink guy and just didn't wanna do that anymore. I was told I should do AA but couldn't relate. I haven't lost the job, wife, money etc etc. I was just tired of 2 things 1. Hangovers. And most important #2. Tired of getting yelled at by wife. Tired of getting talked down to and with no respect. But how's was she to respect me while she's bathing the kids I'm passed out on the couch. I also really struggle with the higher power thing although I've tried cause I'll try anything to stay sober. National championship tonight. Friends coming over. Uuuuggghhh. Wish me luck. MB8

babycat

I am sure it is for many people. But telling a person they are going to fail simply for not following "their" method is not very supportive in my opinion.

Bostonsportsfan

Always hard to stay sober when your buddies come over to watch sports. Good luck.

Bostonsportsfan

I feel like a lot of people in AA believe it's the only answer. I remember hearing multiple times at meetings people saying "it's the only way to stay sober" "the only way to beat alcoholism". It's just their opinion, but if AA works for them I can understand the confidence.

keithj

Hi Rich,

It's somewhat disappointing that you heard that particular message from AA members. Having been an active AA member for many years, and having been involved in a bunch of 12th Step work, I've found that sticking to the directions in the BB is far more effective than the particular opinions of any member is.

AA's bottom line on this is simple: We don't have the only way. In fact, everyone is encouraged to follow their conscience and try to stay sober by whatever means they think is appropriate. We simply have a way that worked for a few million of us, and we wish to be helpful if you think you need some extra help. After I had washed out of all the treatment, rehabs, jails, lost families, etc. that I could stand, some ideas about AA started to make some sense to me, and I'm eternally grateful that it was there. If you find yourself in need of help, AA will be there for you as well. And if you're doing well with what you're doing, keep on doing it and best wishes to you.

Carlotta

Rick I am so sorry your were mistreated. I went undercover there as a newcomer who is still drinking and does not know anything but wants to quit.
Those people are dreadful and the place is a train wreck. This is NOT AA and I seriously doubt that any of them have worked the steps, they surely do not practice the 12th (still horrified). My poor newbie alter ego was ignored, laughed at and talked down to. He was also told to keep on drinking and to come back tomorrow when he was sober. Now mind you, I made sure my character was extremely polite and respectful, he just made some typos.

Check out the SR online meeting on Tuesday and Friday. Opivotal who facilitates it is a doll and the people who attend are very nice and respectful. We have a good chatroom here which is bully free

KateL

I was told I would fail if I didn't go to meetings on a facebook group that had a lot of hardcore AA ers and they deleted me when I said I didn't go to meetings. (I had been sober for years) I am sure they are not all like that but I have come across it a good few times. There are other means if you don't feel it suits you.

Rickh54

Thank you all very much for your input.
For now, I am very comfortable here with you all and feel safe. like my big comfy chair in my family room safe.
SR is giving me the support that I feel i need from arms length people at his time. Hopefully for me, it will be enough.
Thanks again.

Mountainmanbob

if what you are doing does not work out
you may add AA later ??

I enjoy a combination of a lot of things so as to stay sober

God
church
this site
AA
being grateful ----- etc

I'm willing to do anything or go anywhere so as to stay sober

MB

JaylaaKent

I'm still struggling with my commitment to AA. I do find it odd that there are mostly 15+ years of sobriety that attend. You don't see a lot of 1-10 year people. Not sure what happens and why the new timers (1-10 years) are SOOO low?? It is disconcerting to me.

foolsgold66

That's terrible Carlotta. You should go back as grumpy cat.

SoberLife2014

I have found good things in both SR and AA meetings. I love AA. I think it has a lot of great things to it. It has really helped me a lot in my recovery. But sometimes it's seriously hard for me to get to a meeting. And sometimes I get a little tired of hearing the same thing over and over. I feel like any time I ask a question I can predict the answers I'm going to get.

I have also heard that if I don't do exactly as they say I'll fail. For some people that might be true. I read the BB and I try to do what it suggests, but I find it hard to be overzealous about it.

I honestly feel like I can be more of my crazy self on here and it helps. It also helps to get some different perspectives. So, I take what helps me from both AA and SR.

I tried the online AA meetings. They weren't for me. I felt like the people on the site I went to were a bit... harsh and cliquish...

sugarbear1

AA says it is not for everyone nor is it the only way to stay stopped.

You are just getting members' opinions....

I do work the 12 steps, but SR has been a saving grace for me, too!! I love the SR forums and chat room. Lots of positive support!