steve-in-kville

Seriously folks - I can get maybe 5 days tops sober. My diet improves, my sleep gets better and I stick with my running program. Then the weekend or some holiday comes and find myself walking out of the liquor store with a $15 handle of cheap whiskey or vodka.

Then after blacking out twice in one weekend I come to my senses and dump it all out, ditch the bottles and promising myself and God I will not go back. I've been at this all summer... trying quit, being successful at it and then failing.

Does anyone have any pointers? I really cannot figure out what my triggers are. Its almost like habit.

steve-in-kville

ETA: its almost like subconsciously find excuses to go near the state store and before I know it I am walking out with a bottle!! Whether I want to or not!!

diffingo911

Of Course. there is a Pattern/Habit-It's the Alcoholic BRAIN-Blackouts are quite Common to Someone Suffering from this Disease. It is difficult to surmise these triggers, since the subconscious mind is taking over in active Using-That is what is most difficult when it comes to understanding Ourselves-There is Always this little piece of the Puzzle that doesn't quite seem to "Fit" when it comes to Our memories of "Last Night", for instance--because it's just not there...That's how the Booze does-It Robs us from the Luxury of having Choices/Memories/Control over Our Everyday Life-It's Real and It's VERY Powerful-There are those of US in PRISON for crimes We have no IDEA we've committed, yet must take Responsibility for it, Regardless...That's how the Booze works...

KateL

Just keep trying and reading/posting. Hopefully something will click, just don't give up x

Dee74

Hi Orion

I think the two main things anyone has to do is find support to stay sober, and make the necessary changes in their life to maintain that sobriety.

Do you have any other support besides SR?

If the weekends are typically a problem time what plans can you make for next weekend to make it a sober one?

D

diffingo911

Maybe 21 is YOUR Magic Number, Orion90...What?

steve-in-kville

Dee,

I have no support besides here.

LadyBlue0527

Hi Orion,

Based on the above post I would say that your triggers are weekends and holidays.

What Dee said is what you need to make this happen. Plan ahead of time for next weekend, don't wait until you find yourself walking into a liquor store to question yourself. Schedule things that you need to do that curb your ability to drink. When I first got sober I went to the movies every Friday night. I also planned things on Saturdays that made it impossible for me to drink. What about a recovery program? There's lots of info here on traditional and non traditional programs.

What can you do next weekend so that you won't go to that liquor store?

RobbyRobot

I tried and failed many times too before I got it right for myself and stayed quit. Quitting is something that is best done from the inside out, from the place where our core strengths and resolve to accept, change, and move on with our lives is discovered and nourished. Being empowered from our inside protects us from outside influences such as parties and liquor stores, etc.

We can easily overlook our inner strengths when we get too caught up in thinking we've made some serious changes when in fact only our attitude towards whatever has changed and not our core beliefs about staying quit. Attitude change is important but usually not enough to keep us quit for good and all.

I had to believe in quitting bringing me the opportunities to have a better life sober then when drinking. I needed to turn myself around enough to adapt and take advantage of each stepping stone I could "see" to get to where I wanted to be in sobriety.

So many choices and solutions are there for the taking for anyone interested in facing the challenges in staying quit. Its really personal choice trumps because its not like nothing works - its always true that quitting works best to get us where we want to be in a better life.

Empowerment will always require changes be made, otherwise the drinking problem wouldn't have existed in the first place. These changes are always on us to make the best choices we can at the time. As we stay quit, more informed learned by experience choices can be made. Other people can set examples for us, and we in turn can be examples for others. We don't have to be alone in staying quit.

I quit to stop dying and have a better life, a life worth staying quit for; a life worth living full out for; a life with happiness and purpose. Quitting was the first thing to get done and the thing which brought everything else into reality. I concentrated on quitting for many months making sure I had it down cold before I eased up and started to relax about being quit and sober. We can sometimes overlook how important an action quitting really is to our proper success later on in our journey. I had a lot of changes to make to stay quit, speaking for myself here. It was important to make the changes before I moved on with my sober life. Changing made all the difference to my success!

Take it easy, Orion.

whiskeyman

and dont try and figure it out. I was so fixated on what made me like this it was the trigger.

ACCEPTANCE. stop debating you wont figure it out. You cant drink, EVER, done.
Once you acccept that wholly, you will be done and free

jdooner

Orion - It might help to try an face to face program. AA is the most widely available and the only membership requirement is the Desire to stop drinking. Another possibility to make it through the first week is to discuss with your Dr and get a deterrent that makes it difficult to drink.

The first week is the physical dependence on the booze. It does not surprise me that you make it 5 days and then relapse - its like being held under water and your mind telling you you have to take a breath after 30 seconds. If you relax though you just might be able to make it a couple minutes.

Your body is actually craving the booze around 5 days and sending impulses to your brain telling you that yo have to drink..it can be done in a cunning way too allowing you to rationalize with a party. The party, holidays, weekends, are all excuses though - its just how you are rationalizing. If they were not there you would still have the impulse to drink.

Try quitting on a Thursday make it through the weekend sober and then have some stronger sober muscles for the 2nd weekend? Or try quitting Thursday, attend a meeting Friday night and Saturday night to break your routine and perhaps get a sponsor.

In terms of the quits you will either decide sobriety is important enough and get tired of the insanity or something else will cause you to stop - those are really the only two outcomes. I hope you find the first.

Thepatman

Whiskeyman, nice and simple, I like that!

EndGameNYC

I never needed triggers to drink. I drank because I wanted to drink.

You've described a very specific pattern of which you're clearly aware. Working on your own to change this pattern is not working. It's time to try something different.

NoJimmy

That's what worked for me, and I mean the words in my signature to my core. The other thing I feel was important for me was that I admitted my problem, and my intention to stop to everyone close to me. I have nowhere to run back to now, ever. I also made a promise to myself and the 3 people I may have lost due to my ridiculous behavior. I have not really been tempted yet (it's non-negotiable), but I have programmed myself to consider the promise I would be breaking if I am tempted. I have also decided that while I may not be strong enough to stop drinking once I start, I damn sure am strong enough to not allow the first drink.
Keep after it Orion, you just need to quit one more time than you start, like most people I wasn't able to arrive at the right point the first time either. It's possible, and you can do it. Never forget that.

NoJimmy

I recommend engaging with a program. I'm involved in Celebrate Recovery and AA, which works best for you is your choice. But seeking faith is something different I am doing this time, it has enriched my life. That's another individual choice, but I suggest a program beyond SR. This place is great too, but IMO doesn't replace the exchange that happens in person.

Vet69

This is wonderful advice. I will use it as a new member who drinks in response to triggers such as the ones you describe.

LadyBlue0527

Hear Hear! I am a firm advocate of this!

steve-in-kville

Wow!! Lots of great replies. I am currently obsessed with my health, as I am over-weight and struggle with high blood pressure as well. I am also on meds for depression. I had become a semi-serious runner a few years ago and the doctors were really impressed. But I stopped running and started drinking heavy again.

Now I've started a very aggressive hiking/running program and looking to do a few trail runs this next year. Knowing that I cannot drink and be in top shape has been helping me some, but as mentioned, once those special occasions come (i.e. weekends, holidays, etc) I feel like I deserve to drink.

Does this make any sense?

RobbyRobot

It only makes sense when we are seeking instant gratification for ourselves and we so go on to justify whatever so we can be satisfied. All this of course of deserving a drink is going to end in epic failure because when we use alcohol to satisfy our wants one drink is never enough. Man, an ocean of alcohol would never be enough.

So, from a better place in sobriety, such reasoning so as to feeling like we deserve a drink doesn't make sense. Like I said, it can only make sense to the guy who has already justified the taking of that next drink. What you really deserve is to not want that drink in the first place. Takes some personal changing to get to not wanting that drink. Getting past the drinking is doable. Plenty of ways to quit drinking.

2bstrong

Thanks for this, really enjoyed the thread and replies! I am struggling relapse the same way. On day two and exercise and a new healthy life is also a main motivator of mine to get back into sober life.