MB8

Thnx threshold. I appreciate the information.

Music

MB8, the suggestions I gave you are right out of Chapter 3 in the Big Book. If you have any doubts as to whether or not you're alcoholic etc. Like you, I had questions when I came to AA but when I read those suggestions, I had my answers. I'd tried controlled drinking and it didn't work. The thought of not drinking for a year was out of the question. I was drinking daily just to maintain. I used to think being an alcoholic depended on who I drank with, what I drank, what time I drank, how much I drank, etc. I finally realized none of that matters. It's all about what happens to me when I drink.

Fallow

I can relate to your story MB8. I've been to AA quite a bit, and sometimes I was successful at telling myself I am powerless over alcohol with an unmanageable life - but sometimes not. Of course I did have a lot more alcohol related issues and problems than you describe.

For me I quit AA because of not connecting though. If alcoholics cannot relate to my story then I'm wasting my time being there. And a few guys flat out told me they couldn't relate to how I drink. That's ok.

I relate to how you drink. I've tried some controlled drinking the past 3 months and learned what I need to know for me. That is if I drink 2 or 3 drinks I can stop. Day after day. They say alcoholism is progressive and during my last relapse I drank less than I ever have.

The thing is though I only got to 9 months sober my last attempt before now. I quit again because I want to see if I can really stay stopped on my own long term. Whatever the reason I always come back to a drink. Its frustrating.

Anyway point is I get it.

AA isn't the only game in town.
But if you really want to stay stopped for good what's the plan? I'm asking myself the same question...

davaidavai

It sounds to me like you don't really know what even this kind of drinking does to families. My father drank like you. It was always the same story. He never really understood the issue in the eyes of kids. It was watching my father with his flask, always having his little separate experience, having his high going on, apart from us. He wanted to be apart, even while with us.

I mean, its nearly a six pack, I'm assuming a lot of the time. But it also sounds like you aren't really quitting because you want to be with your family fuller, better, during the moments you would otherwise be using. At least from your post, that's the way it sounds. You're quitting to improve productivity, looking at things you could do better -- like reading a story -- as opposed to those whole entire blocks of time you could do better, as opposed to memories you could build better.

You might benefit from doing a step 4. That's what helped me at first. I needed to do some serious assessment of my flaws before I could start with step one. Try making a list. Seriously. It works because it's dumb and therefore something you might not ordinarily do.