Proving a point
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
I never actually feel the need to drink if I'm happy. But we are all different in my opinion so I rarely look at the similarities. The spectrum is huge. I only ever felt the urge to drink when things were going horribly wrong, but I do understand people wanting to celebrate with a beer.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Doug39 
I just hate not being able to do what I want when I want even though I know it is bad for me. And with my wife and friends all imbibing while I am sitting there like a stick in the mud it makes things even harder.
From years of experience, I've learned that not attending drinking events is the best recourse in early sobriety, rather than attending and wishing you and everyone else present were dead. Your list of events is substantial, and would mean not spending time with friends and family during the holidays, so it's not an easy thing for you to not be present. I get that.
"Sitting there like a stick in the mud" is your choice, not your destiny.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
"Sitting there like a stick in the mud" is your choice, not your destiny.
Well what choice do I have? It is like I am the dumb kid sitting there watching the grown ups have fun.
Unless I want to ditch my marriage and my current life, this is my destiny.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
You can take it as a challenge rather than as a firing squad.
Your comments suggest that you have only two choices: Drink with everyone else and then regret it, or make yourself miserable because you're so deprived.
It's your choice how you behave, whether or not you drink and whether or not you make an effort to enjoy yourself without drinking. Approaching these events with a defeatist attitude will ensure failure.
There will always be excuses to drink, regardless of the circumstances and time of year. If you truly want to get sober, you're going to have to get through drinking events at some time in your life. The alternative is to continue drinking.
Your comments suggest that you have only two choices: Drink with everyone else and then regret it, or make yourself miserable because you're so deprived.
It's your choice how you behave, whether or not you drink and whether or not you make an effort to enjoy yourself without drinking. Approaching these events with a defeatist attitude will ensure failure.
There will always be excuses to drink, regardless of the circumstances and time of year. If you truly want to get sober, you're going to have to get through drinking events at some time in your life. The alternative is to continue drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 368
Why can you not have fun without the drinking? I actually have more fun at those events when I am alert and can spot the nuances of jokes faster than others. I have found that when I am swept up in laughter I get a buzz that I miss out on while drinking. Others probably won't even notice, at least they certainly won't care if you're not drinking. There even a good chance that they enjoy being with you MORE when you are not drinking.
As for certain drinks at special occasions, what is special about them? There's plenty of ways to make punches and stewed apple fruit drinks that taste delicious and often very similar.
I really wish you the best in this. Living a real life is worth so much more than a special drink.
As for certain drinks at special occasions, what is special about them? There's plenty of ways to make punches and stewed apple fruit drinks that taste delicious and often very similar.
I really wish you the best in this. Living a real life is worth so much more than a special drink.
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