AmyMae

I really...REALLY need something different to quit drinking. I've tried by myself, I've even moved in with supportive, sober friends. I work full time. I go to graduate school full time. And I drink all the time. I don't want to...and yet I really, really do want to. I've tried antabuse...but I just stop taking it. I'm to the point where I don't even care if people know that I'm drinking, I just do it anyways.
Realistically, the only thing I can see helping me stop is inpatient rehab, and I can't do that...and keep my job and my spot in my grad program.

I'm a little desperate.

Theophania

AA has worked for me, have you thought about trying a meeting? I'm sorry that is the only suggestion I have because everything else I tried before AA did not work for me

Raider

The only thing that kick started me is inpatient. And I am very, very young in sobriety. Maybe you could look into outpatient rehab? You should be able to keep your job and school, I'm sure they would help work around your schedule.

On the other hand, if you try that and it doesn't work, it won't matter if you graduate, the disease will ruin you.

Prayers your way.

Bostonsportsfan

How often do you drink and how much?

GracieLou

Since you did not mention any kids or a husband I take it that you have free time other than when you are at work.

I work full time too and go to AA. A little over an hour is all you need to go to a meeting.

I also got to the point where I no longer cared if people saw how much or how often I drank but that got me to the point that I drank everyone away. I began to isolate and that is where I stayed for two years. Other than work and some quick shopping all free time was spent at home drinking.

I kept lowering the bar. I had done it over and over. Instead of doing something about my problem I just kept changing my opinion on what was considered bad enough to go for help. I was bad, but not that bad happened over and over and I just moved the "not that bad" bar. So I drank more than some but not as much as others. The fact that I held a full time job at the end was a miracle. I may have physically been at work all day but I was not doing anywhere near what I was capable of in the past.

I guess you have to honestly ask yourself if by not caring anymore what others think have you just lowered that bar a little bit?

Remember what we are willing to put up with and the lengths we will go to so we can continue to drink is not even near what others are willing to tolerate.

IOAA2

I had a lot of reasons to not stop drinking and until I wanted to stop I didn't. I was told by AA friends that I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober and that was the fact of it. I next needed to get honest with myself about my drinking in order to get sober.
Stopping is relatively simple, staying stopped for the long term is another matter.

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob

I worked for many years while drunk on the job
most of the ones I worked with could not do this
they were fired in time
towards the end I also was called on the carpet for my drinking
please
find the answer -- what will work for you so as to get and stay sober
before it's to late
it's terrible when drunks look back in their life
and see all of the things they have lost
MM

KarenSW

I will have 6 months sobriety next week. The only thing that has worked for me is AA. I can truly say that AA has changed my life. I wasn't sure about that when I first got there, but I wanted to get sober more than I wanted to drink. I found out quickly that all I needed was just a little bit of willingness to take some suggestions and went from there. GracieLou is right, all you need is an hour to spend at a meeting. I look at it this way, in order for me to get sober, I need to spend as much time getting sober as I did drinking. Good luck and I'm glad you're here!!

Threshold

Inpatient is a valid medical leave. I would look into how it would be handled by work and school. Many here have done it and kept job/school.

I mean...truly your life is on the line here. It's not like you are looking to take a 3 week vacation. If you had any other life threatening illness would you NOT treat it because of work/school?

Life truly is (and if you are in grad school and work full time you KNOW this) about doing what we need to do.

If you find time and cash to drink, you can find time to get sober.

While I am NOT suggesting you ditch your idea of inpatient, I do know people who thought there was NO way they could get sober without it, and did! I am sharing that so that you will not use "can't do inpatient" as a reason to keep drinking.

AA is a good, free, readily available place to start. You lose nothing in giving that a solid effort.

Riel

Maybe there's a part of you that isn't happy in grad school and is sabotaging you with the urge to drink?

I mean, if you were really having a blast would you be drinking so hard you'd need to try antabuse?

PhaseTwo

I went to the ER and detoxed in the middle of a semester of undergrad then came back and finished my classes. Said I was going on a family vacation. It sucked but it's possible if you can make up excuses for your absence and possibly take sick days

sunrise1

You're taking it for granted that you can continue on and keep your job and your grad program... The alcohol doesn't make any such guarantee.

Without aggressive steps, you stand a very good chance to lose those things anyway.

soberhawk

Welcome to SR amymae (noticed it was your first post).

You can stop and you will stop if you do not give up.

There are a lot of options outpatient rehab, AA, counseling etc.

I have stopped by using SR, done a lot of physical exercise and some meditation.

You have to find the solution that works for you.

We have a thread here where a group of us signs in every day (I do it in the morning), just to keep focus on what I am doing. It helps me. You are welcome to join:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...join-us-6.html

Carlotta

to SR
A lot of us (myself included) have gotten sober while working full time and having other things going on too (students, moms and dads, entrepreneurs, activists you name it...)
The key is to want to be sober more than you want to keep on drinking. Why don't you start by consulting with your doctor and see if you could detox at home over a long week end.

feeling-good

Welcome to SR - this is a wonderful place!

My story is NOT something I recommend, but it is where I got to (after having finally got into AA, sobered up and then 'relapsed' to an extreme level......).... I don't recall any of this, but apparently I hung myself and effectively did a medical detox under a medically induced coma over several days. All in all, it is a small miracle that I am still alive, but here I am and, in addition, I am almost 10 months sober!! I go to AA 3 or so times a week and don't even think about drinking alcohol.

I work full time and pay for all of the household bills for my estranged husband and my daughter, as well as pay rent at my friend's house for me. Life is far from ideal, but it is still sooo much better than it was and it can only get better.

The point of all that is to say that I *understand* the belief that only a medically supervised inpatient detox will 'work'; it is by no means the only way, but if it gets you on the road to recovery, then it is well worth the effort / time / money to organise.

I don't know if this has helped you or not, but I absolutely wish you the very best. (hugs)

feeling-good

Oh, I recommend looking at Vedette's posts - this member just completed a detox and wrote a happy post about it....

Signal30

One way to tell your a alcoholic is if your life gets worse, you lose your friends, burn bridges with your family, lose your job, become homeless, and eventually die.

Or...

You can be honest with yourself.


Alcoholism is fatal if gone untreated. If you do nothing because you are afraid to lose what you think is important by seeing treatment, (by the way it usually never happens), you will lose everything anyway from the alcoholism.


Sorry if I sound like a jerk. It's not meant to sound like that, just telling it like it is in reference to the disease of alcoholism.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Amy

Maybe write a list of things you have tried to stay sober and start working through it. Inpatient doesn't have to be at the top. I had a similar dilemma but managed to get and stay sober without taking any time off work. What helped me was this site. I came here everyday and posted in the Class of March 2012 and asked for help when I needed it. That and AVRT helped me initially. They call AVRT mental antabuse I went on to go to AA and have counselling and looked into various other things too. There are plenty of options it just takes a while to find them all and what will suit you.

I am sure you'll have noticed that there is lots of support to be had here x

Ruby2

Hi AmyMae,

Welcome. I work full time and have two little kids. I was risking losing my job because of my drinking. I did and didn't want to quit drinking and got to the point that i didnt care who knew. But, I had quit.

I too changed my living arrangements and moved with my kids into my parents so that i wouldnt drink. i still drank. I took a stab at going to AA meetings but would buy beer or wine after leaving the meetings. What changed? My then sober husband moved home and threatened to take the kids.

I called my supervisor on a Sunday, told her I was an alcoholic and needed to get help. Arrangements were made and I did three days detox and then did 14 days of inpatient. I had at one time done outpatient but it wasn't as good as inpatient. Calling my boss was one of the scariest things I have ever done but I needed to do that or die a thousand small deaths.

I stayed sober for 10.5 months. I relapsed in August after my husband relapsed and am now trying to claw my way back to sobriety.

If you want it bad enough, there are ways to make it work. If you can't take medical leave, how about holiday break and vacation time? Probably not a way you would want to spend time around the holidays but think of it as a gift to yourself. Even if you can swing three days for medical detox and then meetings.

VOisEvil

Quote for truth! This is/was me. It is exactly how it played out for me. It took the last 10 years of a 30 year drinking career for it to happen. It happens slowly at first, but in the last 3 years I completely cratered.