Tetra

Well my therapist was annoyed that I am binging on ice-cream.

My Grandma cried in front of me when I was writing a notice for the newspaper about the death of my uncle (her son-in-law). I didn't know how to console her and when I came home I ate almost a whole tub of ice cream. The next day I was so sick.

My therapist said he is not surprised...all that sugar...and he said sneaking ice-cream behind my dads back is sneaky, alcoholic behaviour. My dad got angry at me before for "pigging out". My therapist said I have replaced alcohol with ice-cream, and that is not unusual for alcoholics, and he feels I am heading for a relapse.

And so I have decided to really commit to AA now as I feel like I am on a seesaw, and I just cannot have another relapse. So my question is: how do I get a sponsor? Do I just walk up to someone and ask? Or should I ask the meeting leader afterwards?

I should have done this months ago, but...I am quite shy...I don't know.

Any help would be appreciated.

It has been a hard few weeks. My family is grieving. My uncle should have had at least another 20 years of life left.

I won't be in town again until Friday. I am planning to go to the AA meeting then. I am with my dad out the country now and we are doing some DIY work around the house while my mom is away...

Thank you for any help. It would be much appreciated.

Love and hugs,
Tetra x

karate

I think that all sounds like foolishness ,The prisons are not full of people that ate a gallon of ice cream ,then wrecked their car ,killing someone .

I BINGED like a lunatic on sweets when I quit the excessive intake ,It never relapsed me into being into week long drunk .

SkyeSea

I'm wondering if your therapist has a weight problem? Or some med condition that she can't have milk products? Failing that, I'm clueless as to how she comes to that conclusion to be honest - sounds crazy to me. x

courage2

I agree -- ice cream won't kill you or wind you up in prison. Don't worry about it.

As for how do you get a sponsor: At the meetings I go to, they usually have a "sponsorship coordinator" (one for men/one for women) in the room. "Ask the sponsorship coordinator if you need a sponsor", they say. Finally one day, I went up to the so-designated woman and said, "I need a sponsor, can you help me?" She looked at me like I was fly on the wall, and said, "Just wait around until you find a woman you like, and ask her to be your sponsor." Thanks for the help, babe, I thought!

But that's what I did, pretty much. One meeting, I heard someone say something & just from the tone of voice, I thought, here's someone. I went up & asked her for her number, and we took it from there.

miamifella

I know I am going against the current here, but I think your therapist is wise to caution you about replacing alcohol with ice cream. It is addictive behavior to find comfort in substance and an alcoholic's problem is not alcohol itself but rather his or her own addictive compulsion.

That said, it is great to hear that you are taking measure to insure future sobriety. Your original post here gave a lift to my day. Good luck!

Grungehead

At a couple of meetings I go to the chair person will ask anyone who is willing to be a sponsor please raise your hand. I have always liked this structure and wish more meetings would do it as it makes finding a sponsor a bit easier for the newcomer. Most of the time though you you find a sponsor by listening to members share for a few meetings and then just go up to them and ask. Its kind of like asking someone out on a date...you have to put yourself "out there" and hope that they say yes.

karate

EVERYONE has some addactive behavior ,I know there is NO WAY im going without my vitimans , no way .


Nor am I going without internet ,smart phone , bottled water ,,,,,,,,,,,and so on ,actually the list is quite long .

Br00ksie

Your sponsor should have at least a year of sobriety, their own sponsor, and should possess qualities that you want to emulate.

I found my sponsor after 2 weeks of going to daily AA meetings. I met her at an MA meeting and then saw her the next evening at AA where she raised her hand indicating that she was willing to be a sponsor, and I approached her after having introduced myself the previous night. It was pretty much fate!

I recently posted a thread on sponsorship and got a TON of great responses- check it out under threads that I've started!

Also, take a look at this: http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Br00ksie

All of this!!

sugarbear1

I worked those 12 steps 3 times by 8 months of sobriety, which is when I began sponsoring others......I did have a spiritual awakening/experience......

Ask someone who knows how to guide another through those steps and who walks the talk (does what they say they do).....

Working with others saves my life regularly.....and I've worked those steps a 4th time, and when I guide another through those steps I get to keep track of myself (with the help of my higher power) and steps 10, 11, and 12 keep me sober, too......

sunrise1

My thoughts on this...

I didn't know it, but my alcoholism started in my late teens. It hid itself behind an eating disorder, and then depression, before it finally manifested as the booze drinking thing. I realized one day that the disordered thinking, at least in my case, was ALL the same.

For that reason your therapist may question your ice cream habits of late.

Threshold

I don't know if the OP has a history of eating disorders or not, but for some of us with that backround turning to binge eating as a form of relief can be a warning sign.

People who don't have a problem with drinking have a hard time understanding the grip booze has on us alcoholics. Likewise to people who haven't had an eating disorder worrying over an ice cream binge seems silly.

LiveforToday22

For the most part I see that as nonsense, however I do see where your therapist is coming from. There will always be a little bit of addict in all of us. For me I eat way too many sweets, consume way too much caffeine and smoke way too many cigarettes. Look into something called The FASTER scale. It may be helpful

Ruturn

I was told in treatment to pick out a "grizzled veteran" as a sponsor, someone who had been sober a long time and was still very active in AA and had sponsored a lot of people. My sponsor will have 29 years sobriety in a few months and may go to more meetings than I do. He's seen and heard it all, so to speak, and I feel I made a good choice for me. Asking him was difficult for me, almost like asking out a girl when I was 16 lol. I've seen people say no, and I've also seen people say they wouldn't be a permanent sponsor, but they would agree to be a temporary one and get the ball rolling. Good luck!

miamifella

As much as I hate the term "dry drunk," binging with food or whatever other compulsion you like fits the bill.

Recovery is about more than just stopping drinking. It is about changing how you deal with the world. Some people may be satisfied with switching addictions, but that is not enough for many of us.

Kudos to Tetra for moving toward real recovery.

Tamerua

I listened to people share and then picked the person who I related to the most. Worked great for me!

whiskeyman

if you are picking up ice cream at a trigger time then look at it using the steps.
i quit drinking and picked up a spoon as well.
I think they just invented ice cream, i never really ate it before.

Now i am evaluating when i want it, after a family discussion, to relax, when i am anxious.

If i pick up a spoon then i have substituted.

elihoping

Hi Tetra,

I don't know if you're based in Dublin or not but if you go to the Donnybrook meeting, the secretary always asked at the end for people to raise their hands if they're available to be a temporary sponsor. Or if you can manage to share at a meeting, mention that you're currently looking for a sponsor.

Failing that, just listen to other people sharing and find someone you like the sound of who has a few years sobriety. The worst they can say is no and they'll probably still give you their number anyway.

I found it so scary to ask. I was shaking when I finally got the nerve up to approach someone but it really turned my sobriety around. Good luck x

HappyHermit

When you find someone of the same sex - men with men, women with women - unless you're gay, then the other way - a - well - if you're bi, go with the ugly guy??? anyway -- I digress -- get a sponsor - a REALLY good way to get one RIGHT AWAY is to ask the chairman of the meeting if they know of anyone AT THAT MEETING AT THAT TIME who would be a good sponsor for you and go with it - ask them "So and so says you can sponsor me - help!"

Sponsors are like clothes: if they don't suit you, then change them.

karate

I think if you just eat ice cream ,And that's the worst flaw you have .........

Then I would be glad to call you a good friend ,IMO folks are owerblowing the whole point .

Last I checked ice cream wont cause cirrhosis of the liver .