PhaseTwo

I know all about that vicious cycle as well, except I couldn't hold off until Friday. Thursday became Wednesday then I just said screw this everyday

ronf

What a wonderfully honest post. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been there. The trick is to be that honest when we're sober, when we're on the outside looking in.

karate

HANGOVERS ,the effective anti drink ,for that day ..........

Sudz No More

Nice going Gravel, I knew you would come around. Keep focused as you close in on your traditional triggers.

tomsteve

im glad yer ready. however, tryin may not work too good. trying again, doin the same things ya did before, may not work too good either.
nothing changes if nothing changes. do yourself a favor and decide ya want to get and stay sober and do something different. look into recovery programs.

Hevyn

Gravel, I'm glad you want to try again to get free. We all stand with you as you give it another go. There's no doubt that you can do it.

Johnston

Dude, me too. Problem is I also don't like being sick.

pinkdog

Hi Gravel, that is your choice. I choose sobriety. It's much better!

Br00ksie

True dat!

Johno1967

Gravel, have you found that substitute for alcohol?
I read both your posts and they were from two different people.
The first post didn't have me convinced, you must've had a bad day. We all have them. Just a matter of staying off the merry-go-round.
Tip of the hat to you mate.

Gravel

Tomorrow is Friday where I am. I don't plan to drink and probably won't. But I had a super crappy week of work and seem to get stressed out easily.

I like to play online video games to relax/drink and that usual time it happens is tomorrow and saturday. I can play without drinking but I won't have much fun.

I trained myself to unwind with beer. And it does work. But then it doesn't stop and I usually get blitz and make bad decisions saturday. Friday I am okay but come sat I am saturated with beer.

If I do it right I don't drink SUNDay. But if I didn't get enough alcohol in my fri and sat I will drink Sunday. That's my gig I have been doing for a bit now.

I'm not going to drink but i will know what happens Monday

longbeachone

Maybe avoid the video games if you can...It's a drag because I know you love them, but you've got muscle memory that attaches the two, drinking and playing, together. Until you are a bit stronger, can you find another way to pass the time?

bigsombrero

Do you live alone, Gravel? I know that I drank alone in front of the TV/computer quite a bit when I was using. Having nobody to tell me otherwise gave my AV more strength.

Breaking those habits - come home, play vids, drink - that's a key component to getting on the right path. I know it sounds crazy, but I think might be time to sell your XBox?

Jeni26

I never believed I could make it through a weekend without drinking either. My job is mega stressful too.

When I first gave up I altered my Friday night schedule completely. If I wasn't on SR I was at an AA meeting. I just couldn't come home and do nothing...I would wallow in self-pity or convince myself that having 'just a few' would be fine. The cycle would then just repeat again. As bigsombrero says, maybe time to sell the x-box and find another way to relax?

rubbersoul

I relapsed not too long ago and several times in the month of sept. Recently had 11 months with my life back (aka sobriety).

Reading your post just made me realize something about myself. For a long time now I've had this thought process that was something like this: "alcohol gives me a nice feeling and a nice buzz for a short period of time (say 30 min) but then it makes me sick and act like a fool and then I'm remorseful the following day(s), weeks, months, years, and sometimes it has been a key factor in traumatic experiences in my life. So it sucks I can't be 'normal' and have a drink or two or three but this is my lot in life, I'm an alcoholic. My parents are alcoholics and so are extended family members. I need to strive to maintain my sober life if I'm going to have any chance of... life at all".

But what I just realized is that alcohol doesn't give me a nice feeling or a nice "buzz" anymore. I no longer enjoy being drunk or buzzed and out of control of my body. The times I relapsed I did it out of a remembered habit but I didn't enjoy it. Maybe because I know the truth about it now. I feel like when I'm drinking its like I'm purposely exposing myself to an allergen and basically treating my body like a garbage can. I lose respect for myself and for what? In my case, a bottle or 2 of wine every night or a bottle of wine and a few shots... and I'm only 24 years old and a female on top of that, what will I be like when I'm 48. What good could ever come of this? I see the maddness in it now.

I hope you discover what works for you and if you are having issues with your drinking I hope you find the help you need. This is a great place for help, lots of kind people here going through similar pain and finding peace in life without alcohol. Thank you for your post.

john44

I saw myself in every word of this. Thanks for writing it.

MrTumble

FRIDAY ! Don't get fried !

575

A house divided.....

bcboy

Friday was and still can be a trigger for me.

But then Saturday mornings always sucked. Then the whole weekend was lost and come Monday the regret / grief of how much money I had spent on something that was doing me serious harm.

And the cycle continued.

weekends are meant to be a time to relax and enjoy time with family and friends. Not running around like a drunken fool wondering where I had left this or that, did I say something stupid, does my wife smell just how much I had consumed etc etc.

BLAH.

jacrazz

Gravel is starving for attention tonight.....and he is getting what he wants!