DAB

When the facilitator at my AA meeting asked if anyone was up for an anniversary and medallion, one of our members, T, said yes, he had 31 years.
When the facilitator checked the list of anniversary dates, he saw that T's anniversary date wasn't until Saturday the 31st, the meeting was on Thursday the 29th. Another long-term member, H, said that it's fine to give him his medallion, because T was going to be out of town for business for about a month.
That is when D spoke up and said "this is not right, H".
D is the most senior member of our group, both in age and sobriety.
H replied repeating that T was going to be out of town and that he would vouch for him.
Then D said "nobody in the group is special even if they think they are". D's grumbling went on like that for several minutes while H and the facilitator searched for the 31 year medallion. They gave T his medallion regardless of D's opposition to it.
My question here is who was right?
Did the group do the right thing by allowing T to get his medallion 2 days early?
Should the group have had a vote on it?
Or was D right, and we should not have given T his medallion until he returned from his business trip?

longbeachone

Oh, Good Lord! This person has 31...that's thirty one...THIRTY ONE YEARS SOBER!!! And some anal retentive egomaniacal recovery Nazi is quibbling over two days?

Now I've heard everything.

bigsombrero

Somebody needs to kick "D" in the "A". These are the kind of things that I don't like about AA. I realize it's uncommon - it's just gives off that "old boys club" vibe. Like when you go golfing, but forgot your collared shirt, or when you go boating on a yacht but don't have the right shoes. There's always someone who will give you the stink eye and make sure you know you're frowned upon. For me, that ain't cool. Meh.

That said it sounds like you have a tight knit group with lots of years between you all. Perhaps it's just an old rivalry between the two guys? IMO, I think D does have a point, but at the same time, if D's been in AA that long, he should know when to "let go" and "remember he's powerless over others". Sounds like he's the one who slipped on Thursday.

oak

I probably would not try to pick up a chip a few days early, but I also would not object if someone else did. And I can understand why the guy with 31 years wanted to celebrate that day with his group.

Grungehead

So T wanted to pick up his 31 year chip after 11,321 days instead of 11,323 days because he was going to be out of town for a month. It should have been a non-issue and D was being an ******** about the whole thing. It sounds like he ruined T's celebration on top of everything else. I hope he makes amends to T because he owes him one. Actually he owes the entire group one IMO.

I guess you can tell that I believe the group was correct in allowing T pick up his 31 year medallion 2 days early under the circumstances.

awuh1

As for what someone said about not liking this about AA, well, this isn’t about AA. It’s about a personality in AA. Totally different things.

In line with what Grungehead said, you may wish to point out to D that some individuals pick up their 31 year chips after 11,321 days as opposed to 11,323days. It just depends on how many leap years there were in the interim and if you started to count from the first day without a drink or the last day of a drink.

The medallion is a symbol of “time sober”. It is meaningful primarily to the person who receives it. If T wanted it 2 days before the 31st in order to celebrate his ‘time sober’ in a meeting with his friends, then let it be.

PaperDolls

I've seen people pick up chips when I know they haven't stayed sober that long. It's really none of my business. It's between them and their higher power.

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

Johno1967

Really? The Government hands out medals like candy to service men and women just being a month or so in a war zone these days without being in any danger.
You don't hear the vets of older conflicts complaining.
It's not like he was going to wear his 31 year token and get drunk! After that sort of protest I wouldn't blame him if he thought about it.
Seems a petty and childish thing to harp on about.

Eddiebuckle

Under the circumstances, it seems reasonable to me to give the medallion. "D" may have the most seniority in the group, but clearly that is not the same thing as sobriety. "Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern."

Grungehead

I guesstimated on the leap years...I gave him eight.

Gottalife

We are not big on medalions here. I only have one which was for thirty years. At that meeting it happened that another member had the same birthday, but 32 years up.
It was a special night, but he and I were not there to celebrate our achievement - it wasn't our achievement after all.

A day or two either way, or the supersticious nonsense about tempting fate are irrelavent.

We stood together before the group to bear witness that AA works.

GracieLou

+1

I have seen this a time or two. Some think that one should not mention nor receive a coin one second before. They promote themselves as old school. Some yell out loud they are coming up on another year days before hand and then after they stand up at every meeting for a month announcing said anniversary. Some believe you should only have one home group, others have two or three. Some think there should be no men/men or woman/woman meetings because it was not that way in the beginning.

Tomato, Tomahto.

I think each of us has to make our own decisions on were we personally want to stand in all the opinions and personalities of AA.

For this case I don't see anything wrong with anyone getting a chip early, especially after 31 years and it was a special case being the person was going to be out of town. I feel "D" needs to work on his/her control issues..lol

sugarbear1

Thanks, Gottalife! We take those medallions to show to others that the steps, along with service work and the fellowship, work. It's not for us.....

Threshold

In the area I first got sober in, it was suggested that every different meeting we went to the week we were to receive a medallion, we went up to receive it to show the newcomers recovery happens.

Then we'd return the extras, or if it was a special medallion, give it to the chair prior to the meeting to present to us.

We were on the honor system. No one ever made some prove their sober date etc.

Croissant

Priceless....I "P"d myself laughing.

DAB

I felt that D really did make everyone in the group feel uncomfortable and it did ruin the occasion for T. The worst part about it was that we have a very small group and that night we had a couple of new people show up. I would be surprised if they show up to our group again after that fiasco.

mfanch

For me:

I do not pick up a chip until I have attained the time. Even one day. Rigorous honesty....I cannot afford any other kind. I have been in this situation where I was out of town for an anniversary and I got my medallion when I got back. No big deal. It was still just as special.

And yes, people DO get 30+ year medallions and drink, so we really only have TODAY.

I have no opinion on the original scenario. I can only comment on my own program and experience. I would also advise a sponsee to wait until she earned the token before claiming it.

ersatzmatriarch

personally, i pick up on the day of (and for a week at any new meetings i attend.)

somebody picking up early? ain't my business.

somebody calling another out for picking up early? also ain't my business. now, while i do think calling somebody out is total crap, it's their total crap. however, i'd likely ask to get a conversation going on the general situation at the next group conscience (how we don't take any inventories but our own) specifically because something like this could well deter newcomers, and i would hope that any group i'm in doesn't aim to do that.

KissMyTiara

Another reason why I left AA. I don't need a piece of cheap metal to let me know when I got sober and applaud from others. My sobriety is my own.

foolsgold66

My honest opinion is that everyone involved were acting like silly asses, starting with the 31 year guy.