DuhDave

I've been reading a lot...and finding out that a lot of our recovery occurs between years 1 and 2.

This second year in particular we realize we may have overcome the demon...alcohol...or have we ???...but still remain vigilant, for he can rear his ugly head at anytime !

What were your experiences between the first and second years of sobriety?

The first year is a "Milestone"...but its not over yet...it's just the "First Mile"...for the rest of our lives.

I would be interested to hear how it was for you. Did it get better?...how so?

Us newbies are just looking for something to look forward to...to work towards...we're looking for hope...that yes...it will get better...in time.

Thank You for sharing,

Thanks,
Dave

Dee74

I'm not sure if my experience was universal or not, but after year one and throughout year two I focused a lot less on not drinking, and a lot more on being the man I wanted to be and making the kind of life I wanted to lead

D

DuhDave

Thanks DEE...I guess it's about 3pm where you are.

Thanks for sharing.

Dave

Dee74

5pm but good guess

D

lorelei

Hey Dave,

My longest af period has been 18months, nothing takes that time away, but I did slip and fall spectacularly.

I've learnt whether im on day 1 or day 101, treat each day as it comes, don't get complacent, not to start thinking oh look at me, ive beaten this thing, and if I do slip, never give up trying x

EternalQ

I am close to 19 months. The first year was all about not drinking and facing day to day life (in big ways and small) without relying on alcohol to cope. It also involved creating and accepting my identify as a non drinker and getting comforfable with that rather than frightened by it.

In this second year it has involved cleaning up some messes left in my life from my addiction. And also, I am taking many steps to make changes for the future, many of which I would have made years ago if not for my addiction.

I don't know if that answers your question?

But in any event, even though I've committed to being a non drinker over the long haul, every day is another day that I recommit to not drinking. Because wanting it, planning it, and wishing it are one thing, but doing it is quite another. I need those to be linked.

FBL

For me, the first year was huge, getting through all the milestones...holidays, birthdays, etc. The second year is where I really started to focus on making a life for myself sober. Now at over 4 years, not drinking has really become second nature. I still have thoughts of drinking from time-to-time, but they are fleeting and I'm more content now than I've ever been in my entire adult life. I still have my share of life's problems, but they are much easier to deal with sober. I feel like I've been given a great gift and I don't want to screw it up by drinking again.

Nevertheless

Year 2 got a lot easier,but it seems it went by with a blink of an eye. I kind of woke up and didn't like where I was at. I'm on year 4 and still working on changing what I am. Between 1 and 2 my emotions were still screwed up. I blew up a few times. And while I had good reason to be pissed, blowing up solves nothing. If those situations were to happen right now,I would probably just shrug them off,like I would have back when I was drinking.
So for me there was still a lot of healing going on between year 1 and 2. It was still somewhat of an emotional roller coaster.
Right now I am working on changing occupations. Something I probably wouldn't have done had I kept drinking. I am wondering if that decision isn't still somewhat driven by the emotional roller coaster.
Who knows...It sure does beats the hell out of living in a fog like I was.

Fred

doggonecarl

Almost a year ago, I blogged on this very topic. Hope it proves informative:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ars-sober.html

Which reminds me, I should do this for three years.

Threshold

My first year I had an excuse to constantly focus on recovery, I mean heck I was just barely sober. But then...the crap hits the fan. The return to polite society.

Being in full time recovery ( not in a rehab center, but making it the focus of my days) was definitely a worthwhile cause and where I needed to be, but since I got INTO recovery to see if there was life after substance abuse, it was time to work on the life part.

During year one I had a few moments of serenity, and when I say moments, I mean periods of an hour or so. 5 months into year 2...not so much. I guess I hoped that a year clean and sober, and truly working my recovery program would have resulted in more progress than it has.

I think I have to accept that this IS who I am, and learn to work with that, with what I got. I thought sobriety would change who I am. So now that I am clean/sober, the next task is getting real with myself and my life.

Jfanagle

Year two was the most difficult of the years that I have been sober. Year one was all about getting to ONE YEAR! When I started the second year it was much more difficult as I had gone a year and now what? It was packed with emotion and adjusting to the idea that this sobriety thing was for real.

I got through the second year by getting heavily involved in service in AA. I helped start a Back to Basics meeting and as soon as I began helping others start down the road to sober living I got out of myself and the emotions were tamped way down. I took a GSR position and learned that AA has 12 Concepts along with the steps and the traditions.

At the end of the second year I was well grounded in AA and the idea that it was my responsibility to carry the message and be of service. That is how I got through it, but for me at least it was a very trying year.

Best wishes,
Jon

LDT

I was sober for 18 months. Then I decided I was "cured" and tried to moderate. It didn't work. It never does. I'm now going into my 9th month in my second and final round of sobriety. It's calmer, more peaceful, and more solid than ever before. I'm much smarter this time around. I know what's on the other side of one drink for me.

hypochondriac

Thank you so much for this thread Dave, it's so interesting reading other people's experiences. I've been sober 18 months now. The first year was tough for me. Although I could feel myself getting physically better, I was suffering with really bad fatigue and I was full of doubt and pretty much all over the place emotionally. I felt like a large part of that time was spent just getting by day by day and staying sober. Towards the end of that year though I was getting more confident and felt more comfortable in my decision to quit drinking. I saw it as finding my sober feet. It has been challenging in other ways since then though, I feel like I really have to put the work in now. It's like a constant program of self improvement and self discovery. I am still figuring a lot of things out, like I still get cravings, really bad ones, much worse and intense than the ones I got early on. But they are more like me throwing my dolly out and feeling like drinking is the only option for me. They are usually fleeting thoughts, although they seem extreme at the time. I feel like the way to tackle them would be to get control over my emotions and my tendency towards anger. Just more stuff to work on.

The thing about year two so far though is I am happy. Although things have been challenging at times and I do feel like my first year of sobriety was worse than my drinking days in terms of my functionality, I still started getting these little moments of intense happiness. Contentment really. I guess I underestimated how much of a drain it was on me to maintain my drinking and keep it secret and still function and deal with all the guilt and regret and stress and anxiety and illness that went with it. My mental health is so much better. I had a moment today where I was having some bleak thoughts, the type that usually start of a downward spiral into depression, and I realised that if I was still drinking I would wallow in those thoughts and probably end up crying into my pillow. Now though, I thought about it for a bit and then took the dog out and forgot all about it. Alcohol used to magnify whatever I was feeling and that never ended up well. Even if I was happy I'd end up being too manic and delirious and end up doing something I'd regret. I will take this quiet happy steady contentment anyday

I feel like I am still finding my feet, and because it took me so long to even stand up I always shy away from telling people to give up for 6 months and see how they feel. It took me a longer time than that to feel remotely better. But I do feel like every day I have felt a little bit better now, whereas when I was drinking every day I felt a bit worse. Like they say, alcoholism is progressive but then so is sobriety x

Ipanema

Our questions and replies to each other so often are what get us through. I loved the "pink cloud" of the first year and was all gung ho above turning myself into a "normie". Thought I was all set to have that little family, picket fence, everything to be smooth sailing. Mr. Wonderful was going to show up any day. Alas, I guess he got lost somewhere because he hasn't shown up yet. There were some very nice men though who have been like brothers.

I went to many meetings though and it started to sink in, after listening to people that had more time than me, that I was short In some basics of life on life's terms. The concept of one day at a time was more of a revelation in the second year. It had to be because things cropped up that I didn't know how to handle about life. My Sponsor walked me thru the steps and I could see the link between the steps, the meetings, Let Go and Let God. And my best thinking wasn't necessarily such a good idea, ha! But, I mostly knew how to seek help, and then tweek it a little my way and maybe make a mess.

Even with all the challenges of recovery I still had to perform at a Corporate job sometimes without the people skills (like handling bullies), to home and deal with two teenage girls, etc. Frankly, I know I was only able to do it with the meetings and support of AA. That's why I still today am so thankful that my Higher Power gave me all the tools of recovery, if I used them, and was there to applaud the successes and comfort me in the not so good things.

I would say that the easier and softer way was to try to focus on today and making the best of it sober. Let the meetings and people walk you thru the rough spots. And God would and could if he were sought. One Day At A time for a full and rich life. All the Slogans on the wall were making sense. I would walk in the doors of a meeting and something would come over me and I was home. My friends were there. They were struggling too and the bonds were immeasurable.

A little example of how it is today: I try to seek God in all my affairs, turns to others and the tools of the program, listen to myself as a last resort, and know that everything I am dealing with today will pass in God's time not mine. I expect nothing and accept everything. it's much more serene for me. I am not in good health but know that this is what God has in store and I better make the best of it or be miserable. It is what it is. I try to keep in mind that I have a disease and the past sometimes comes up and makes me sad. Lost time in a fog. Miserable days of beating myself up.

Working with others is so valuable and I hope, even though very long, this has helped. I couldn't make the football game today where my Granddaughter cheers because of a very long walk and no wheelchair yet. That's God's will. I better accept it and move forward or set up a one person pitty party!! So, instead, I have a great tape of Lewis Black who makes me laugh and enjoy the night. He is hilarious, his language is Beyond the Adult rating, and takes me out of my poor self. I find Comedy is a great diversion and healer. Much luck to you. Keep coming back to this site because it a safe and healing place.

Pondlady

My first year, I felt wrapped in a protective cocoon......taking such care of my recovery. I felt an almost child like excitement as I rediscovered simple joys. This second year has been more difficult for me...not sure exactly why.....but thing I'm dealing with underlying reasons I drank in the first place.

On a positive note, I no longer think about drinking or fret about it. We were at a dinner party tonight and I never even gave it a thought

foodie1

Neat thread I just had my two years in August and that whole second year was so different from the first, I'm still amazed. Just like others have said, the first year was about not drinking, the second year was about learning to live again. I'm constantly amazed at what life has in store for us all.

AllieB

Fred: I'm really just frivolously commenting on your avatar...it's fantastic. I wish I were barnstorming through Missouri right now.

(Sorry to go OT...it's a great thread/question, and I also really enjoyed hearing the responses. It's comforting, in a way, that there's a consistent theme in the replies...makes the future more predictable.)

DayTrader

Year two was..........interesting. lol.

The first half was more of the same from year 1. Lots of learning, lots of new stuff to understand, and life felt pretty good.

The second half......different story. Maybe it was just my time. Maybe I'd woken up to too many things and wasn't able to stay in my dream world any longer. The second half of my second year turned into the beginning of one of the most painful periods of my life and it didn't stop at my 2nd birthday. It continued for a while. Painful as it was, it was also, looking back, one of THE most important periods of my life. Perhaps even more important then the day I finally stopped drinking. It was the beginning of my entrance into a life of REAL sobriety. One where "I don't drink" is just a part but not the whole pie. It was a time where I learned to let go of materialism, being right, running my life, having the answers, needing the answers, old ideas of what love it, and many more.

At the time.....it looked like depression. It looked like bipolar. It looked like a lot of things. What it was was a time of great spiritual growth in someone who prior to that had no experience with spirituality. I'd gone to church....but I never experienced spirituality. That old saying, "It was the best of times / it was the worst of times," comes to mind.