If you are an alcoolic does that also mean you are all these things
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Traits of an alcoholic
There are several traits of an alcoholic. Over time you can recognize them.
1: Lies, to cover up their drinking, where they have been or whom they are hanging out with.
2: Denial: Denying they’ve been drinking even when you know it and have proof. They blame it on a buddy being with them and drinking. “It’s their friends empty bottles and cans.”
3: The cover up: Coming home with cinnamon candies or strong mints in their mouth to cover up the smell of alcohol. They think if you can’t smell it, they have pulled one over on you.
4: They assume you are naive and won’t know the difference between a lie and the truth. As long as they smoother you with charm and I’m sorry’s you should just forgive them and let it ride.
5: I’ll take care of the problem; you won’t have to worry about it again. Broken promises are an everyday thing.
6: They stay away from home as much as possible, find any excuse to go work, help a friend etc. You can’t get them to help at home with things that are necessary. If they are home, they stay off to themselves and aren’t active with the family. If they do particiapte its in short interverals.
7: They can talk to anyone else but they seem to have little to say to you. You walk on eggshells because they think everything you say is a put down even before you can say it. They are extremely sarcastic and defensive. They do things that don’t make sense to the common person. Do things they know you don’t approve of. It’s as if they are in self-destruct mode and taking every life they touch with them.
8: Agree to get help but resent it. Then you have to watch them like a hawk to make sure they take their meds. Which means you must get up before they do and watch them closely while they take the meds. Make sure they don’t hide it in their cheek or under their tongue. They resent you and you resent having to treat a grown up like a child.
9: Selfish: What they want and their alcohol is more important than their family. They spend money like it grows on trees. They will take it from your checkbook without your knowledge. If you write the check for one amount, they will change it to a larger amount. Tell you they took one amount then when you get the check back, its usually double what they told you. They will tell you" I told you how much I wrote it for" and swear to it but they didn't tell you. If you hide your checkbook they will go to the bank and withdraw the money without your knowledge. Charge things, and then take them back for the cash. Sell things that belong to the family and keep the money. When they want something they will keep on till they get it one way or another wether you can afford it or not. Credit cards are a no no with alcoholics. They will max them out without you even knowing it. Then you get to deal with it, because they aren't capable of doing what needs to be done to correct the mess they have created. If you’re on a tight budget, it keeps your nerves ripped apart.
10: It can't happen to me syndrome: You can not make them understand that it only takes one time to loose everything, take a life, loose their life or wind up behind bars. Once second from now could be the beginning of a nightmare but that only happens to others, not them.
Traits of an alcoholic - Angelfire
http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion2/...ts.html
1: Lies, to cover up their drinking, where they have been or whom they are hanging out with.
2: Denial: Denying they’ve been drinking even when you know it and have proof. They blame it on a buddy being with them and drinking. “It’s their friends empty bottles and cans.”
3: The cover up: Coming home with cinnamon candies or strong mints in their mouth to cover up the smell of alcohol. They think if you can’t smell it, they have pulled one over on you.
4: They assume you are naive and won’t know the difference between a lie and the truth. As long as they smoother you with charm and I’m sorry’s you should just forgive them and let it ride.
5: I’ll take care of the problem; you won’t have to worry about it again. Broken promises are an everyday thing.
6: They stay away from home as much as possible, find any excuse to go work, help a friend etc. You can’t get them to help at home with things that are necessary. If they are home, they stay off to themselves and aren’t active with the family. If they do particiapte its in short interverals.
7: They can talk to anyone else but they seem to have little to say to you. You walk on eggshells because they think everything you say is a put down even before you can say it. They are extremely sarcastic and defensive. They do things that don’t make sense to the common person. Do things they know you don’t approve of. It’s as if they are in self-destruct mode and taking every life they touch with them.
8: Agree to get help but resent it. Then you have to watch them like a hawk to make sure they take their meds. Which means you must get up before they do and watch them closely while they take the meds. Make sure they don’t hide it in their cheek or under their tongue. They resent you and you resent having to treat a grown up like a child.
9: Selfish: What they want and their alcohol is more important than their family. They spend money like it grows on trees. They will take it from your checkbook without your knowledge. If you write the check for one amount, they will change it to a larger amount. Tell you they took one amount then when you get the check back, its usually double what they told you. They will tell you" I told you how much I wrote it for" and swear to it but they didn't tell you. If you hide your checkbook they will go to the bank and withdraw the money without your knowledge. Charge things, and then take them back for the cash. Sell things that belong to the family and keep the money. When they want something they will keep on till they get it one way or another wether you can afford it or not. Credit cards are a no no with alcoholics. They will max them out without you even knowing it. Then you get to deal with it, because they aren't capable of doing what needs to be done to correct the mess they have created. If you’re on a tight budget, it keeps your nerves ripped apart.
10: It can't happen to me syndrome: You can not make them understand that it only takes one time to loose everything, take a life, loose their life or wind up behind bars. Once second from now could be the beginning of a nightmare but that only happens to others, not them.
Traits of an alcoholic - Angelfire
http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion2/...ts.html
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Many personality traits are generally accepted as "common to alcoholics." But having these traits doesn't mean a person will become an alcoholic or any other kind of addict. A list of the traits:
< B>Idealistic</B> -- Truly believes that, not only is the "ideal" world possible, but that it "should be." They see everyone joined together as one united family. However, they often feel disillusioned and disheartened when the world fails to live up to their Utopian ideals.
< B>Feelings of Being Lost & Alone</B> in a cold harsh world.
< B>Lack-ing</B> a sense of belonging and feelings of self-worth. Life lacks luster and joy.
< B>Inadequacy</B> -- never feels "good enough."
< B>Hypersensitive</B> physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Feels things much deeper than most. Takes things very personally. Deeply affected by other peoples E-motions as well as any variety of other environmental influences -- most notably negative and/or toxic ones.
< B>Perfectionist</B> standards.
< B>There is a "Right Way"</B> and that's my way! Tendencies toward all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking.
< B>Low Frustration and Tolerance</B> levels. Easily upset and knocked off balance.
< B>Lives on "The Edge"</B> Often engages is risky behaviors. Thrill seeker. Adrenaline junky. Seems to be "hell bent" in stuck in a "self-destructive" mode.
< B>Fear-Full</B> Tends to worry a lot. Anxious, agitated, and afraid of what negative or pain-Full live event may be coming their way next.
< B>Impulsive</B> Often acts out before really thinking it through.
< B>Defiant</B> Doesn't like being "told what to do."
< B>Thwarts Authority</B> and rebels against "the status quo."
< B>Non-Conformist</B> Always seems to "march to the beat of a different drum. "
< B>"Different"</B> Just doesn't seem to "fit in." Not "like the rest."
< B>Arrogant</B> Can come off as quite condescending and "full of it" as times.
< B>Angry</B> Has an explosive temper. Volatile E-motions and often acts out in violent ways.
< B>Resentfull</B> of, oh, so many people... Carries a long list of resentments towards all people who have let them down and hurt them "along the way."
< B>Unable to Forgive</B> Unable to let go of all the negative things that have happened to them, or the negative feelings they carry inside. Just can't seem to accept people, place, things, and situations as they are.
< B>Restless, Irritable, Discontent</B> Life is a painful, unpleasant journey for them.
< B>Self-Blame</B> Deep down inside, blames her/his self for "everything" that's gone wrong.
< B>Demanding</B> I want what I want and I want it NOW!
< B>Dependent</B> on others to do for them what they cannot seem to do for themselves.
< B>Defensive</B> Very guarded and protective of their inner most feelings.
< B>Insides Don't Match Outside</B> What they feel on the inside is often not what you see on the outside.
< B>People Please</B> in order to keep the focus off themselves and get people to like them.
< B>Grandiose</B> at times. Putting on a big show. "The life of the party." "Drama Queen!" "Big man in town!"
< B>Chameleon</B> Easily change their persona to match the people and circumstances that surround them. Can "blend right in."
< B>Compulsive Liar</B> -- have often lost conscious contact with "The Truth."
< B>Complainers</B> Highly critical of others and themselves. Very negative in their overall assessments of life. Often their "own worst enemy."
< B>Fear Failure and Success</B> and as such, often remain "stuck" where they are. Feel like they "can't win for loosing."
< B>Withdrawn</B> socially isolated and alone. Even if with others, not really connected. Can't really be "reached." Nobody seems to know what's really going on with them.
< B>Feels Apart From Instead of A Part Of</B> -- separate and alone.
< B>Lost & Tortured Soul</B> wondering through life in "the land of the living dead."
< B>Not Love-Able</B> Unable to love him or herself or to receive love from others.
< B>Uses Alcohol to "Escape"</B> or numb-out the pain-FULL experiences of life and fill themselves up with "spirits"
Read more: Personality Traits Common To Alcoholics | LIVESTRONG.COM
< B>Idealistic</B> -- Truly believes that, not only is the "ideal" world possible, but that it "should be." They see everyone joined together as one united family. However, they often feel disillusioned and disheartened when the world fails to live up to their Utopian ideals.
< B>Feelings of Being Lost & Alone</B> in a cold harsh world.
< B>Lack-ing</B> a sense of belonging and feelings of self-worth. Life lacks luster and joy.
< B>Inadequacy</B> -- never feels "good enough."
< B>Hypersensitive</B> physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Feels things much deeper than most. Takes things very personally. Deeply affected by other peoples E-motions as well as any variety of other environmental influences -- most notably negative and/or toxic ones.
< B>Perfectionist</B> standards.
< B>There is a "Right Way"</B> and that's my way! Tendencies toward all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking.
< B>Low Frustration and Tolerance</B> levels. Easily upset and knocked off balance.
< B>Lives on "The Edge"</B> Often engages is risky behaviors. Thrill seeker. Adrenaline junky. Seems to be "hell bent" in stuck in a "self-destructive" mode.
< B>Fear-Full</B> Tends to worry a lot. Anxious, agitated, and afraid of what negative or pain-Full live event may be coming their way next.
< B>Impulsive</B> Often acts out before really thinking it through.
< B>Defiant</B> Doesn't like being "told what to do."
< B>Thwarts Authority</B> and rebels against "the status quo."
< B>Non-Conformist</B> Always seems to "march to the beat of a different drum. "
< B>"Different"</B> Just doesn't seem to "fit in." Not "like the rest."
< B>Arrogant</B> Can come off as quite condescending and "full of it" as times.
< B>Angry</B> Has an explosive temper. Volatile E-motions and often acts out in violent ways.
< B>Resentfull</B> of, oh, so many people... Carries a long list of resentments towards all people who have let them down and hurt them "along the way."
< B>Unable to Forgive</B> Unable to let go of all the negative things that have happened to them, or the negative feelings they carry inside. Just can't seem to accept people, place, things, and situations as they are.
< B>Restless, Irritable, Discontent</B> Life is a painful, unpleasant journey for them.
< B>Self-Blame</B> Deep down inside, blames her/his self for "everything" that's gone wrong.
< B>Demanding</B> I want what I want and I want it NOW!
< B>Dependent</B> on others to do for them what they cannot seem to do for themselves.
< B>Defensive</B> Very guarded and protective of their inner most feelings.
< B>Insides Don't Match Outside</B> What they feel on the inside is often not what you see on the outside.
< B>People Please</B> in order to keep the focus off themselves and get people to like them.
< B>Grandiose</B> at times. Putting on a big show. "The life of the party." "Drama Queen!" "Big man in town!"
< B>Chameleon</B> Easily change their persona to match the people and circumstances that surround them. Can "blend right in."
< B>Compulsive Liar</B> -- have often lost conscious contact with "The Truth."
< B>Complainers</B> Highly critical of others and themselves. Very negative in their overall assessments of life. Often their "own worst enemy."
< B>Fear Failure and Success</B> and as such, often remain "stuck" where they are. Feel like they "can't win for loosing."
< B>Withdrawn</B> socially isolated and alone. Even if with others, not really connected. Can't really be "reached." Nobody seems to know what's really going on with them.
< B>Feels Apart From Instead of A Part Of</B> -- separate and alone.
< B>Lost & Tortured Soul</B> wondering through life in "the land of the living dead."
< B>Not Love-Able</B> Unable to love him or herself or to receive love from others.
< B>Uses Alcohol to "Escape"</B> or numb-out the pain-FULL experiences of life and fill themselves up with "spirits"
Read more: Personality Traits Common To Alcoholics | LIVESTRONG.COM
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Posted by Jane in Alcohol Addiction, Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms, Drinking and Driving on Apr 19th, 2011
19076719 thb1 Personality Traits of an AlcoholicWhat are the personality traits of an alcoholic – and is there such a thing as an alcoholic “personality”. In the community, people who use alcohol compulsively tend to exhibit the characteristics of a depressive personality style. Not all depressive types will seek relief in alcohol drinking – people who use alcohol also appear to have issues about attachment, loss and abandonment, and low self esteem.
Alcohol is commonly used to relieve a depressive “mood”. A depressive personality type is one in which depressive thinking is more than an occasional mood, but has become a person’s habitual, defensive style in response to all life’s problems.
Perhaps the most challenging, and paradoxical aspect of the alcoholic personality is the apparent need to be accepted, to display power and appear autonomous whilst at the same time, tending to exhibit strong dependency needs. The alcoholic presents to the world a strong defensive “shell”. When not under the disinhibitory effects of alcohol, alcoholics tend to be introspective, and withdrawn, difficult to “fathom”, if not actually morose.
One of the characteristic features of alcoholism is denial about the “weakness” or impotence to deal with life’s problems, unassisted by drug use, that chronic alcoholism implies. Of utmost importance in the alcoholic fantasy is that the alcoholic is in “control” of his alcohol use, that alcohol abuse is an empowering, rather than self harming behavior. Alcohol use bolsters and supports a fragile ego, and lack of self esteem.
In the hope of finding a magic cure for alcoholism, many researchers have attempted to discover a genetic basis for alcoholism, with a view to using drugs to rectify “imbalances” and thus bring about a “cure”. Brain chemistry of course plays a part in the definition and expression of the personality traits of an alcoholic, but science stops short in its enquiries at the point of clinical observation. The scientific method and approach towards the treatment of alcoholism isolates and identifies the mechanisms that represent the influence of alcohol in the brain. Unfortunately, understanding the “mechanics” of any form of drug addiction is of no practical value when it comes to comprehending why a person “chooses” to continue with a self harming behavior rather than simply stop.
With alcoholism, as with all drug abuse, the answers are to be found in the relational dynamics of the user’s emotional life. Using alcohol in preference to other substances or developing enhanced relationships happens because using alcohol satisfies an emotional need.
Essential to the development of alcohol addiction is that users find alcohol use rewarding. Indeed, for many alcoholics the promise and reward of getting a drink is the focal point in their life. The alcoholic personality is able to cope with temporary and enforced abstinence when social constraints enforce it. However, as emotional tensions build, enforced abstinence tends to lead to binge drinking, or an extended “bender”.
Around 75% of Canadians today routinely drink alcohol and make it a part of their life, Canadians use alcohol at all socio economic levels, come from all walks of life, most are social drinkers. What do alcoholics have in common that causes a compulsive need to drink alcohol to excess.
To the alcoholic, alcohol use provides a satisfying and dependable “relationship”. The compulsive nature of alcoholism suggests a deeply rooted emotional need for such a controllable and reliable satisfaction.
A need for love and to be loved when forced to displace into substitute satisfactions is always hungry and looking for that all encompassing “love” that is missing, often accompanied by feelings of inadequacy, guilt, unworthiness and shame – self blame for the failure of an early childhood environment to provide the child with proper nurture and care.
Alcohol provides satisfaction for love made hungry – reproducing the bliss of a nurturing environment, instantly and reliably. Alcohol knocks out our stress burdened frontal cortex, and fills our emotional hunger. Alcohol is non-demanding, provides instant gratification. That is why people become alcoholics, and won’t give up the bottle. Alcohol recreates the fantasy of infantile omnipotence.
Many alcoholics suffer unnecessarily for years simply because they lack the courage, and lack support to give up alcohol and face their emotional pain.
Any alcoholic who doubts the validity of an emotional basis for alcoholism, one that encompasses all of the apparently diverse, and sometimes contradictory behaviors of people with alcohol addiction, needs only to abstain, when in need of a drink, and then name their emotional feelings. Even if unable to cope with his feelings, the alcoholic will at least then know the emotions that he intended to avoid by his alcohol drinking.
Narconon alcohol addiction recovery programs *** understand completely the profound feelings generated when a person feels unloved and unworthy, the adoption of guilt and shame instead of being the happy, confident person that we all have the potential to be.
Narconon, through its emotionally supportive and challenging lifestyle programs enables alcoholics to give up alcohol dependence and recreate new pathways towards self love and self respect. The mind and emotions start to heal by using positive thought processes, in place of alcoholic gloom and negativity.
Don’t wait until life steps in and shatters the omnipotent illusion that alcohol addiction creates. Get help from Narconon today, to throw that bottle out, and begin a new life of self respect, integrity and harmony, free of the negative personality traits of an alcoholic.
19076719 thb1 Personality Traits of an AlcoholicWhat are the personality traits of an alcoholic – and is there such a thing as an alcoholic “personality”. In the community, people who use alcohol compulsively tend to exhibit the characteristics of a depressive personality style. Not all depressive types will seek relief in alcohol drinking – people who use alcohol also appear to have issues about attachment, loss and abandonment, and low self esteem.
Alcohol is commonly used to relieve a depressive “mood”. A depressive personality type is one in which depressive thinking is more than an occasional mood, but has become a person’s habitual, defensive style in response to all life’s problems.
Perhaps the most challenging, and paradoxical aspect of the alcoholic personality is the apparent need to be accepted, to display power and appear autonomous whilst at the same time, tending to exhibit strong dependency needs. The alcoholic presents to the world a strong defensive “shell”. When not under the disinhibitory effects of alcohol, alcoholics tend to be introspective, and withdrawn, difficult to “fathom”, if not actually morose.
One of the characteristic features of alcoholism is denial about the “weakness” or impotence to deal with life’s problems, unassisted by drug use, that chronic alcoholism implies. Of utmost importance in the alcoholic fantasy is that the alcoholic is in “control” of his alcohol use, that alcohol abuse is an empowering, rather than self harming behavior. Alcohol use bolsters and supports a fragile ego, and lack of self esteem.
In the hope of finding a magic cure for alcoholism, many researchers have attempted to discover a genetic basis for alcoholism, with a view to using drugs to rectify “imbalances” and thus bring about a “cure”. Brain chemistry of course plays a part in the definition and expression of the personality traits of an alcoholic, but science stops short in its enquiries at the point of clinical observation. The scientific method and approach towards the treatment of alcoholism isolates and identifies the mechanisms that represent the influence of alcohol in the brain. Unfortunately, understanding the “mechanics” of any form of drug addiction is of no practical value when it comes to comprehending why a person “chooses” to continue with a self harming behavior rather than simply stop.
With alcoholism, as with all drug abuse, the answers are to be found in the relational dynamics of the user’s emotional life. Using alcohol in preference to other substances or developing enhanced relationships happens because using alcohol satisfies an emotional need.
Essential to the development of alcohol addiction is that users find alcohol use rewarding. Indeed, for many alcoholics the promise and reward of getting a drink is the focal point in their life. The alcoholic personality is able to cope with temporary and enforced abstinence when social constraints enforce it. However, as emotional tensions build, enforced abstinence tends to lead to binge drinking, or an extended “bender”.
Around 75% of Canadians today routinely drink alcohol and make it a part of their life, Canadians use alcohol at all socio economic levels, come from all walks of life, most are social drinkers. What do alcoholics have in common that causes a compulsive need to drink alcohol to excess.
To the alcoholic, alcohol use provides a satisfying and dependable “relationship”. The compulsive nature of alcoholism suggests a deeply rooted emotional need for such a controllable and reliable satisfaction.
A need for love and to be loved when forced to displace into substitute satisfactions is always hungry and looking for that all encompassing “love” that is missing, often accompanied by feelings of inadequacy, guilt, unworthiness and shame – self blame for the failure of an early childhood environment to provide the child with proper nurture and care.
Alcohol provides satisfaction for love made hungry – reproducing the bliss of a nurturing environment, instantly and reliably. Alcohol knocks out our stress burdened frontal cortex, and fills our emotional hunger. Alcohol is non-demanding, provides instant gratification. That is why people become alcoholics, and won’t give up the bottle. Alcohol recreates the fantasy of infantile omnipotence.
Many alcoholics suffer unnecessarily for years simply because they lack the courage, and lack support to give up alcohol and face their emotional pain.
Any alcoholic who doubts the validity of an emotional basis for alcoholism, one that encompasses all of the apparently diverse, and sometimes contradictory behaviors of people with alcohol addiction, needs only to abstain, when in need of a drink, and then name their emotional feelings. Even if unable to cope with his feelings, the alcoholic will at least then know the emotions that he intended to avoid by his alcohol drinking.
Narconon alcohol addiction recovery programs *** understand completely the profound feelings generated when a person feels unloved and unworthy, the adoption of guilt and shame instead of being the happy, confident person that we all have the potential to be.
Narconon, through its emotionally supportive and challenging lifestyle programs enables alcoholics to give up alcohol dependence and recreate new pathways towards self love and self respect. The mind and emotions start to heal by using positive thought processes, in place of alcoholic gloom and negativity.
Don’t wait until life steps in and shatters the omnipotent illusion that alcohol addiction creates. Get help from Narconon today, to throw that bottle out, and begin a new life of self respect, integrity and harmony, free of the negative personality traits of an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by onehigherpower 
1: Lies, to cover up their drinking, where they have been or whom they are hanging out with.
2: Denial: Denying they’ve been drinking even when you know it and have proof. They blame it on a buddy being with them and drinking. “It’s their friends empty bottles and cans.”
3: The cover up: Coming home with cinnamon candies or strong mints in their mouth to cover up the smell of alcohol. They think if you can’t smell it, they have pulled one over on you.
4: They assume you are naive and won’t know the difference between a lie and the truth. As long as they smoother you with charm and I’m sorry’s you should just forgive them and let it ride.
5: I’ll take care of the problem; you won’t have to worry about it again. Broken promises are an everyday thing.
6: They stay away from home as much as possible, find any excuse to go work, help a friend etc. You can’t get them to help at home with things that are necessary. If they are home, they stay off to themselves and aren’t active with the family. If they do particiapte its in short interverals.
7: They can talk to anyone else but they seem to have little to say to you. You walk on eggshells because they think everything you say is a put down even before you can say it. They are extremely sarcastic and defensive. They do things that don’t make sense to the common person. Do things they know you don’t approve of. It’s as if they are in self-destruct mode and taking every life they touch with them.
8: Agree to get help but resent it. Then you have to watch them like a hawk to make sure they take their meds. Which means you must get up before they do and watch them closely while they take the meds. Make sure they don’t hide it in their cheek or under their tongue. They resent you and you resent having to treat a grown up like a child.
9: Selfish: What they want and their alcohol is more important than their family. They spend money like it grows on trees. They will take it from your checkbook without your knowledge. If you write the check for one amount, they will change it to a larger amount. Tell you they took one amount then when you get the check back, its usually double what they told you. They will tell you" I told you how much I wrote it for" and swear to it but they didn't tell you. If you hide your checkbook they will go to the bank and withdraw the money without your knowledge. Charge things, and then take them back for the cash. Sell things that belong to the family and keep the money. When they want something they will keep on till they get it one way or another wether you can afford it or not. Credit cards are a no no with alcoholics. They will max them out without you even knowing it. Then you get to deal with it, because they aren't capable of doing what needs to be done to correct the mess they have created. If you’re on a tight budget, it keeps your nerves ripped apart.
10: It can't happen to me syndrome: You can not make them understand that it only takes one time to loose everything, take a life, loose their life or wind up behind bars. Once second from now could be the beginning of a nightmare but that only happens to others, not them.
2: Denial: Denying they’ve been drinking even when you know it and have proof. They blame it on a buddy being with them and drinking. “It’s their friends empty bottles and cans.”
3: The cover up: Coming home with cinnamon candies or strong mints in their mouth to cover up the smell of alcohol. They think if you can’t smell it, they have pulled one over on you.
4: They assume you are naive and won’t know the difference between a lie and the truth. As long as they smoother you with charm and I’m sorry’s you should just forgive them and let it ride.
5: I’ll take care of the problem; you won’t have to worry about it again. Broken promises are an everyday thing.
6: They stay away from home as much as possible, find any excuse to go work, help a friend etc. You can’t get them to help at home with things that are necessary. If they are home, they stay off to themselves and aren’t active with the family. If they do particiapte its in short interverals.
7: They can talk to anyone else but they seem to have little to say to you. You walk on eggshells because they think everything you say is a put down even before you can say it. They are extremely sarcastic and defensive. They do things that don’t make sense to the common person. Do things they know you don’t approve of. It’s as if they are in self-destruct mode and taking every life they touch with them.
8: Agree to get help but resent it. Then you have to watch them like a hawk to make sure they take their meds. Which means you must get up before they do and watch them closely while they take the meds. Make sure they don’t hide it in their cheek or under their tongue. They resent you and you resent having to treat a grown up like a child.
9: Selfish: What they want and their alcohol is more important than their family. They spend money like it grows on trees. They will take it from your checkbook without your knowledge. If you write the check for one amount, they will change it to a larger amount. Tell you they took one amount then when you get the check back, its usually double what they told you. They will tell you" I told you how much I wrote it for" and swear to it but they didn't tell you. If you hide your checkbook they will go to the bank and withdraw the money without your knowledge. Charge things, and then take them back for the cash. Sell things that belong to the family and keep the money. When they want something they will keep on till they get it one way or another wether you can afford it or not. Credit cards are a no no with alcoholics. They will max them out without you even knowing it. Then you get to deal with it, because they aren't capable of doing what needs to be done to correct the mess they have created. If you’re on a tight budget, it keeps your nerves ripped apart.
10: It can't happen to me syndrome: You can not make them understand that it only takes one time to loose everything, take a life, loose their life or wind up behind bars. Once second from now could be the beginning of a nightmare but that only happens to others, not them.
1. I never lied about my drinking. My wife was fully aware.
2. I never denied my drinking.
3. I never used mints to cover my breath. I drank at home and my wife was usually there with me.
4. I didn't lie.
5. Promises weren't broken, we still went out and did all the things normal couples did: dinners, holidays, day trips. I just couldn't always be the driver.
6. I didn't stay away from home as much as possible. Home was where I drank.
7. I had (and have) open normal communication with my wife, even when drinking.
8. I suggested getting help, I took myself there, I did the hard yards. My wife supported me through it but never pressured me.
9. I wasn't selfish. Although maybe drinking every day was a bit? I'm not sure. Our life isn't much different now except I'm in a better mood and evenings are spent talking sober rather than talking drunk. I spent the money I earned.
10. One DUI many years ago had me realise this. I wasn't in denial. I might have discussed it too little with my wife so as not to worry her, but I was aware. After my DUI I never consciously drove drunk any more. I bet I was a bit over the limit some mornings though.
All that said, I was a heavy drinker. 12-18 beers a day. More than some but less than others.
I just don't like being compartmentalised. We are all individuals and behave in our own ways.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by Coolmel
I drank because I liked it....not because I was an *******.
Drinking is selfish and a choice. I drank because I was selfish and I liked it. I also didn't care if it killed me or made me sick. For a decade I actually wanted it to kill me.
Everyone has a different reason why they become a drunk. I loved being drunk and wanted to be drunk all the time. But I couldn't. You just can't do it. My favorite time to drink is alone, and in the morning. Because I am a drunk. A sloppy, miserable drunk!
There is no disease. No condition. No "powerlessness" Just a choice.
I hate the term alcoholic!
I prefer drunk. And I was very much a drunk!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 270
Yep you are right Dee.
I just find reading these sorts of list makes me question whether I had a problem or not (and I did, a really bad one).
My life was not much different from average joe, I was just drunk while living it. I didn't cheat, steal, fight etc. But I did wake up feeling really sick, was obese, had high blood pressure, high liver enzymes etc.
I just find reading these sorts of list makes me question whether I had a problem or not (and I did, a really bad one).
My life was not much different from average joe, I was just drunk while living it. I didn't cheat, steal, fight etc. But I did wake up feeling really sick, was obese, had high blood pressure, high liver enzymes etc.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Personally I don't believe in an alcoholic archetype, but I can still respect, and maybe even understand, others beliefs 
but...it's fine not to share in someone else's opinion or believe in everything you see posted here
D
but...it's fine not to share in someone else's opinion or believe in everything you see posted here
D
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 186
Hmm.. Well I drank mostly to self medicate from the very beginning. Sure, I had a lot of anger and supressed stuff inside from things that had happened and this often came up to the surface when I drank. I have definitly started a few arguments and fights when I was drunk, but only really with people who had done something to me. I've never been abusive, as in saying mean things just to put someone down.
In general I tend to be nicer than I should rather than the other way around. Of course I can be a selfabsored, immature bitch sometimes, can't we all?
In general I tend to be nicer than I should rather than the other way around. Of course I can be a selfabsored, immature bitch sometimes, can't we all?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
Originally Posted by DirtyRiverMan
Same here. I don't buy into the "sickness" bull. No one is helpless. Just selfish.
Drinking is selfish and a choice. I drank because I was selfish and I liked it. I also didn't care if it killed me or made me sick. For a decade I actually wanted it to kill me.
Everyone has a different reason why they become a drunk. I loved being drunk and wanted to be drunk all the time. But I couldn't. You just can't do it. My favorite time to drink is alone, and in the morning. Because I am a drunk. A sloppy, miserable drunk!
There is no disease. No condition. No "powerlessness" Just a choice.
I hate the term alcoholic!
I prefer drunk. And I was very much a drunk!
Drinking is selfish and a choice. I drank because I was selfish and I liked it. I also didn't care if it killed me or made me sick. For a decade I actually wanted it to kill me.
Everyone has a different reason why they become a drunk. I loved being drunk and wanted to be drunk all the time. But I couldn't. You just can't do it. My favorite time to drink is alone, and in the morning. Because I am a drunk. A sloppy, miserable drunk!
There is no disease. No condition. No "powerlessness" Just a choice.
I hate the term alcoholic!
I prefer drunk. And I was very much a drunk!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
phenomenon of craving
Originally Posted by choublak
Interesting. Some will say that when they drank, they didn't see it as a choice.
By Barefoot Bill L. from Upper Darby, PA
The Big Book on page xxiv (The Doctor's Opinion) says that an alcoholic has an "allergy to alcohol". An allergy is an abnormal reaction to any food, liquid or substance. If nine out of ten people have one reaction and one out of ten people have a different reaction, then the reaction of the one out of ten is abnormal. It also says on page xxvi that "the action of alcohol on an alcoholic is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is LIMITED to this class and NEVER occurs in the average temperate drinker." (A phenomenon is something that you can see but can't explain). "These allergic types can NEVER safely use alcohol in ANY FORM AT ALL".
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