paul99

The "they're just going through a phase" sentiment can be deadly. I "went through a phase" and continued on until I was 40, broken and wanting to die. Sure, most teens will experiment and try the things that grownups tell them not to try. But there is a small number of teens (like adults) who can't take it or leave it, whether it's booze, cocaine or gambling. No one walks into AA on a lark, or on a winning streak. People (including teens) darken the doors of AA because they are hurting, they are struggling, they don't really know where else to go, or have directed there by someone who thinks they might need it.

Where I live, by 19 you can be voting, driving a car and legal to buy alcohol - like an adult. So why can they not be alcoholics like an adult? Patting them on the head, dismissing what they feel is a problem and painting them as just "going through a phase" is disrespectful, harmful and downright dangerous.

Mountainmanbob

SoberKnitter

It's the "directed there by someone who thinks they might need it" part that I find objectionable and probably harmful. Teens are very often forced to go to AA when there is no evidence that they are alcohol dependent, only evidence that they use or abuse alcohol. Having an adult sit them down and explain that they have no control over their use and it will only get worse is insane.

I don't think anyone should be coerced into AA participation, but to do it to teens repugnant.

Grymt

This may be so. Faced with this A.A. who does not make these laws have a duty to the person who walks in their door which obviously is not to tell them they have a problem but what AA is about through sharing, chatting, caring. A.A. also does not force that person to participate in any way that they do not want and does not close the door on the person if they don't come back. Might as well at least enjoy a cookie and bikkie. It's not the end of the world.

Changing laws is perhaps best disussed in other forums. ?

SoberKnitter

It's not just the law. It's often well-meaning parents who coerce teens to attend AA.

I would call having to even be there under duress "forced participation." It actually might be the end of the world if a teen who would have outgrown his or her irresponsible behavior gets the idea (unique to AA) that they have a disease and no control over their behavior. Phrases like "learned helplessness" and "self-fulfilling prophesy" come to mind.

HitRockBottom70

I think this thread seems appropriate for a good discussion. Not sure what forum could be better?
I am thinking a parent forcing a child or a judge forcing a child or adult into AA is inappropriate. Had I been forced there, let me tell you, I would have been a disruptive force for sure. I don't understand why it is the only option given to people. There are so many ways to sober up and stay sober. Before I get slammed, know I am starting to look at AA from a new point of view... As a program I can work with my set of beliefs. This was not the case 11 months ago. I have been to meetings and doing a lot of reading. I was not forced there, I was not convinced to go there, I felt like it may help. I am now willing to make it work.
peace all.

2granddaughters

The reason, I believe, that judges send so many to AA is the other alternative is jail ...

and that helps even less for an alcoholic.

And I don't believe there are "so many ways" for an alcoholic of my type to get sober. I nearly died trying to find another way.


All the best.

Bob R

Justfor1

[QUOTE=SoberKnitter;3913257]It's not just the law. It's often well-meaning parents who coerce teens to attend AA.

I often see parents who are in the program & sober bring their kids with them when they get busted for smoking pot at school or "possession of alcohol" by a minor charge. I imagine it is very scary for a teenager to sit next to a chronic alcoholic or drug addict with a couple of days sober. I think meetings designed for young people which we have here are okay. But putting them next to hardened long term alcoholics can be dangerous!

Someguy23

I think there's three very different situations here.

If a teenager believes his/her problems with alcohol are due to an addiction rather than immaturity and wants to go to AA of his own free will, I don't see why he shouldn't be welcome. I was led to believe that desire to stop drinking is the only condition for membership.

To be honest, and to echo Justfor1's post, I do wonder if someone that got into AA as a teenager might not miss out on some formative experiences, but it can definitely be warranted (cf. CousinA's post). Besides, his life - his choice.

As for court-ordered AA... you do the crime, you do the time. It's certainly kinder to sentence a kid to AA than to jail.

The only situation I'm less comfortable with is one where parents force their kids to go to AA. I have no doubt that it can be justified, but I'll bet that for every teen that's genuinely in trouble there's a few teens whose overprotective parents freaked out because he came home drunk once or twice...

SoberKnitter

There's a reason that no court has held up compulsory AA attendance whenever it has been challenged. It's not kind, it's a violation of the kid's First Amendment rights.

sugarbear1

The parents I know who are working the steps in their lives know that there isn't anything to be done if their teen is having their own problem. No coercion or forced attendance from them. Not sure who is being forced to attend or by whom as AA won't work well unless one is truly willing to work the steps honestly. Seems like a lot of assumptions here.

In 27 years of being in AA (the times I have been in the rooms) I've yet to meet a teenager who was forced to attend. Just my experience.

deeker

I wish I would have a glimpse of what was waiting for me when I had decided at my 1st AA meeting that I was to young to be an alcoholic and did not return. Can you tell me what would would be the negative side to a teenager getting help for his drinking by going to an AA meeting?

tomsteve

one of the best speakers i have heard was a woman who was 42 at the time and with 28 years of sobriety through AA.
YPAA was also at that roundup and there were a lot of youngens having a great time.

SoberKnitter

This assumes the teenager would continue to have alcohol problems and not grow out of them as most do. It also assumes that if they are going to continue to have issues with alcohol that AA would mitigate said problems. Neither assumption is merited.

And the downside? A teenager who may have outgrown it might decide that she has no control over her drinking and get worse than she would have otherwise (Abstinence Violation Effect) or end up labeling herself an alcoholic and going to unnecessary meetings for the rest of her life.

Exposure to AA may even make a teen who will continue to have problems even worse (a study on prisoners supports this).

AA members all assent to certain core beliefs (e.g. the disease model of alcoholism, the inability to recover on one's own, etc.), and rarely is a dissenting view presented. A teenager who attends AA will be presented these opinions as facts. I think that is an abuse of perceived authority.

I think if a teenager really, really wants to attend AA and isn't being coerced in any way, she ought to have the opportunity, though I think that an adult in her life should always go with her at the meetings to make sure she's safe.

Justfor1

A negative side is if he/she happens to relapse. Not everyone in AA is healthy. Not everyone in AA even really wants to get sober. Do you think its safe to expose teenage girls to hardened alcoholics/drug addicts right out of prison? Teenagers are very impressionable & if they choose to stick with the less healthy members it can be dangerous.

deeker

huh?

deeker

Teenagers if you find that you are unable to stop drinking and find that you are facing serious consequences from your drinking, if it is causing you misery you are welcome at AA . All you need is a desire. We hope you will check us out. We will not label you an alcoholic just as others should not label us.

Join us as we trudge the road to Happy Destiny!

3rd tradition
"The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking"


God Bless!

deeker

Not everyone who drives on the road is sober, Do I avoid driving?

Not everyone who goes to church wants to be there. Do I avoid going to church? There are criminals and liars and thieves, yes sinners oh my. Should we protect our teenagers from Church too. There are unhealthy people everywhere we go my friend. Please.

Church is a place for sinners and AA is a place for people with an illness trying to get well. Both places are places of hope and healing.

sugarbear1

what study on prisoners?

Study Shows How A.A. Is Effective

deeker

[QUOTE=Justfor1;3913556] Do you really think that regular members of AA would tolerate inappropriate behavior in a meeting. Have you ever been to an AA meeting. These so called hardened long term alcoholics have an illness and are human beings. If you had a bad experience at a meeting I am sorry but please do not put all alcoholics in this classification. It is very judgemental as alcoholism does not discriminate. And it's just plain negative to the forum!!!

I have been in jail 7 times. Read most of my posts and see just how hardened I am.