reducedquality

Hi everyone,

I called into work "sick" today because I was quite hungover this morning after a weekend of binging. I stopped drinking yesterday around 8pm and threw up several times so I was hoping I would be good, but no. I have the anxiety and malaise of a hangover/withdrawal right now, without any work to focus on to take it away. Of course, even the tiniest tasks to do seem so daunting.

I am so paranoid these days that everyone knows about my alcoholism at work. I don't call in often at all but I certainly go to work hungover more than I should. My performance isn't suffering and I consistently do very well during reviews. Still, I fear losing my job and I don't know how I could live with myself if that happens. Looking back on it, I don't know how I was able to work full time, go to school at night, and still drink quite a bit.

I've been considering quitting drinking for some time. I think now is the time. I drink more than my friends and girlfriend and I don't think they know the extent of it so they might not support the decision easily. Whatever, I need to do what I need to live and be happy. I have a lot to lose, and there's no reason to let that happen.

So, I will not drink tonight, I will go to sleep early, and I will wake up tomorrow sober. Then, I will go to work and get lots done while clear-headed. I have somewhere to go tomorrow night so I will not be able to get drunk then either.

Thanks for reading.

D

soberlicious

Hi and glad you are here. I know that your work performance is still good, but I found it interesting what you chose as your screen name. I have a sense that you understand that the booze is, and will, keep you from reaching your potential in all areas of your life. Do you have a plan in place for after tomorrow night?

vegibean

And what will you do the next day? We feel like crap, and then "hey, I feel better, I think I drink sounds good", and then there we go...

Have you been to a meeting yet? Ever tried one? Even done one here on SR?

I have learned that you CANNOT work your own program, you are always surely to fail that way. Get some help, I encourage you. If you have health insurance, use it, insurances now cover addiction and mental health just as it would cancer and/or heart disease... Just so you know.

soberlicious

Many people do actually create their own "program" per se, and others follow different programs. Make sure you educate yourself well on your options and look at learning as much as you can to successfully quit for good. There is a wealth of success here at SR. Putting a plan in place for quitting would be prudent.

Dee74

welcome to SR
D

reducedquality

Thanks everyone!

I do want some outside support, which I guess is why I am here. Can someone direct me on meetings on SR and how they operate? I have tried going to AA meetings years ago but I didn't like how they operate.I have tried just doing things on my own in the past, and I have gone a couple weeks without alcohol on several occasions. But yes, as vegibean correctly pointed out, I start to feel good, and "hey, I can start drinking again", which of course results in getting into my old habits.

For now though, I am very happy I'm not drinking tonight and I know I'll feel great tomorrow. I'm feeling surprisingly okay physically, though still a little down. Making some positive steps though.

50mission

Hi Reduced,

For what it's worth, I usually succumb to "rewarding" myself after a few days sober and feeling a little better. I have never been one for meetings but lately I've been telling loved ones more about my 'situation" and I find I can go a bit longer when I quit.

T

Auvers

Good for you deciding to stay sober. There are a number of people using this site for support for their sobriety and not participating in face to face meetings. Reading, meditation, practicing mindfulness, honest personal inventories and support from friends and family, healthy lifestyle changes -- these things can be put into play along with sobriety to help you transform your life. If you feel up to making a personal commitment to take charge of re inventing your life, being committed to waiting it out until your brain gets rewired off alcohol (takes months), you can do it. Best to you. xx

Dee74

meetings on SR are not AA meetings or anything like that - we're not affiliated with any particular recovery method.

Our meetings are based on recovery themes - we have weekly meetings in our chat room on Tuesdays and Fridays at 9PM EST (US)

The chat room portal is on the right hand side of the blue toolbar that runs across the top of every page...it's open 24/7 even when there are no meetings

D

nandm

Welcome to SR and congrats on your decision to work on stopping drinking.

There have been some great suggestions in this thread already so rather than repeat what has already been said I will just add what has not. Here is a link to some recovery programs that are out there. I recommend checking it out and finding one that fits you. If you try one and find it is not a good fit please keep trying. There is a program of recovery for everyone even if it winds up being what some here at SR have done which is combine principles of multiple programs into what keeps them sober. But to do that they had to familiarize themselves with those programs by giving them a try. Most important don't ever give up trying to find sobriety. Anyway here is the link. I hope you find something useful in it. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

sugarbear1

Please see a doctor for proper detoxing.