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So here I go... Confession time... :(

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Old 01-05-2013, 02:15 PM
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DEE!!!!!! I was so hoping to see you show up!!!
show up?
sometimes I think I never leave VB


D
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Old 01-05-2013, 02:31 PM
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Hi Vegi! It's great to see you again! I'm glad you came back for help and support. Trying to do it alone is awful. You know we understand how you're feeling right now.

I had 3 yrs. once and decided to have 'a couple'. I was off and running for 7 yrs. of hell. That's when I found SR. I have almost 5 yrs. again. You will do this!! Congratulations on having a great man in your life, and for wanting to get back on track so you can lead the life you deserve.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:05 PM
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Great to have you back! I admire your honesty and courage.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:44 PM
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thanks for your story it makes me realize just how easy it is to slip. and ot be on my gaurd a slip up like yours sounds like how it might go down for me. I'd probably make excuses for myself etc.. too. I probably shouldnt even smell the stuff. Although my wife coooked with wine once since i quit and yeah i know you cook with it the alcohol cooks off. But i could taste the wine and i about yaked and refused to eat dinner. It just flooded my mind with too many bad memories. I'm happy for that! i'd rather eat a sandwich or something.

Tho i made coconut milk and got to thinking ti would go great in a strawberry smoothy then the devil on the one side was like hell yeah with a 151 floater on top. I was like UGG god no it'd be tasty just with the strawberries GO AWAY BAD VOICE!!.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
show up?
sometimes I think I never leave VB


D
Which is what I was hoping for. So glad you're here Dee, you are such an asset to this site.
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:26 PM
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VeggieBean! I have thought of you often! glad you're back among us!

Love from your friend Lenina
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Hi Vegi! It's great to see you again! I'm glad you came back for help and support. Trying to do it alone is awful. You know we understand how you're feeling right now.

I had 3 yrs. once and decided to have 'a couple'. I was off and running for 7 yrs. of hell. That's when I found SR. I have almost 5 yrs. again. You will do this!! Congratulations on having a great man in your life, and for wanting to get back on track so you can lead the life you deserve.
The best is NOT FEELING ALONE, and you all are helping me which is helping me to have the courage to keep this path. Thank you for those words (everyone else also) Hevyn.

I know I'm not the only one, but when you do relapse, you're living a lie, your know what you're doing is wrong, and wonder, "how long can I keep this going before it goes to h*ll?" For a year this has been going on... I've had enough.

Love this site. xo
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by zjw View Post
thanks for your story it makes me realize just how easy it is to slip. and ot be on my gaurd a slip up like yours sounds like how it might go down for me. I'd probably make excuses for myself etc.. too. I probably shouldnt even smell the stuff. Although my wife coooked with wine once since i quit and yeah i know you cook with it the alcohol cooks off. But i could taste the wine and i about yaked and refused to eat dinner. It just flooded my mind with too many bad memories. I'm happy for that! i'd rather eat a sandwich or something.

Tho i made coconut milk and got to thinking ti would go great in a strawberry smoothy then the devil on the one side was like hell yeah with a 151 floater on top. I was like UGG god no it'd be tasty just with the strawberries GO AWAY BAD VOICE!!.

YEP!!!! I was doing that before I got sober the first time, I'd make a healthy smoothie and add vodka, because well, that's still good, right??? Oh the lies we will tell ourselves.

Thanks ZJW
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Lenina View Post
VeggieBean! I have thought of you often! glad you're back among us!

Love from your friend Lenina
Thank you Lenina!!! I am so happy for all the welcoming, this site is awesome and there are many great people here, as well as support. I'm so happy to be back.

Tired of being sick and tired, ya know??
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:27 PM
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Thank you for sharing with us.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:52 AM
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I relapsed after 13 years and have been fighting it ever since. Every relapse makes it harder, I think, but I keep fighting and trying to stick close to AA, and change my life so it is focused on good things.

BTW, I had 6 years, then 8 years...it doesn't get easier. Double up on the good stuff that helped.
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:13 PM
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((VB)) - Though I'm sorry about the relapse, I'm SOOOO glad to see you back here :ghug3

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-06-2013, 05:15 PM
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Yeah, I know, right? I missed you all too. :ghug3
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Old 01-06-2013, 07:48 PM
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A lot of people with some decent sober time that went back out. Wondering what is was that made them go back out or what were they thinking at the time?
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:11 PM
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4 years is really good and no one can take that away from you.

I don't kid myself. It is possible for anyone to relapse. I pray I never do, but there is always that chance. I just try to get thru each day and try to keep working on myself.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:34 PM
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So glad you made it, VB. And thanks for sharing. I've been to meetings where folks have talked of relapsing after 15, even 35 years. I learn from them every time.


I only have two years sober but I know that first drink is only a moment's bad thought away.

Thank God I had a bottom that is awfully scary. I think when I am not working my program that it is fear that keeps me sober, and I will take whatever I can to keep it that way.
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Old 01-07-2013, 12:13 AM
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Welcome back!! :ghug3 I remember you well. You were a great source of help and support to me in my early days. Sorry to hear of what brought you back, but glad you're back giving it another go.
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Old 01-07-2013, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
Welcome back!! :ghug3 I remember you well. You were a great source of help and support to me in my early days. Sorry to hear of what brought you back, but glad you're back giving it another go.
Thanks Least, and to the rest of you... Does it matter what brought me back to it? I like alcohol and it LOVES me and once I get it, and love it. That's what got me in trouble to begin with.

Either way, I'm glad to be back. Making steps, looking for some 1 on 1 sessions because I need to do some dumping (things I never did well in meetings anyway, too personal for me), and keep coming here.

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Old 01-08-2013, 07:18 PM
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I have two and a half years clean right now, I don't even want to think towards the future whether I'm drinking or sober, I don't care about the future, only TODAY
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:08 AM
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VB (and all), starting again today. Got into the bf's scotch yesterday...

very sad.
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