Mark75

You don't share all your personal details to strangers in AA... Not At All!!

We share in a general way way it used to be like (I drank a lot, too much) ... what happened (I got in trouble with....) and what it is like now (My experience in the steps...)

There is definitely such a thing as TMI in meetings... the details are for sponsors, trusted advisors, friends...

ru12

As others have said, there are many paths to sobriety. AA has a wonderful fellowship and if you could benefit from being around others who have similar issues, then you may want to check it out. The program of AA is in the steps and you can read about it for free on the web.

I think that fear is a lot like pain. Both can get your attention, but after the initial onslaught, the memory begins to fade a bit. It is hard to remember fear and pain in the long term. Both can get you to change your behavior and that is a good start.

I think you need to find a way to become content in your sobriety. I am now, but it took a lot of strange twists and turns to get there. Reading and posting here have really helped me in my sobriety, but what got me sober was to stop drinking. And no one else could do that for me. It took a while to be happy in my new sober state, but I am now.

digderidoo

Congratulations on the 30 days.

I lost everything through drink and once I started to pick up the pieces I guess fear of losing the little I had gained back was the kickstart to get my ass into gear and do something about giving up drinking. I doubt fear alone would now keep me stopped but it certainly is one of the factors amongst others.

Keep doing what you are doing and if you are anything like me you will learn the reasons you drank in the first place. Funny enough for me fear was a reason I drank, so I doubt fear alone would keep me sober.

Anna

Fear helped me through the early days because my family was fed up with me and my health was a mess. But, fear can't keep you going long term, in my opinion.

I hope you find a way to stay sober that works for you. I have used books and SR and that's what helped me. The main thing is to recover, no matter how you do it.

Caldus

The only things that have kept me sober are my sponsor, home group, fellowship, helping newcomers, making calls, posting on here, going to meetings, praying, and working the steps of AA. All of these things combined have kept me sober. Fear of losing my job was what got me back into AA and this time I was going to get sober for me -- not because of my family. However, today a lot of those fears have subsided and I really do believe that it's OK to drink again sometimes. Those are the times that I need to be doing the things listed above.

So to answer your question, yes, it can keep you sober for a period of time, but hopefully it will only keep you sober long enough so that you can figure out a recovery program that works for you. AA has worked well for me so far even if I don't want to be a part of it some days. But once I take action, 10 times out of 10 I always feel better and don't have a desire to pick up for today.

Zube

"Remember we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful"...and patient.

I don't think that fear alone will keep an alcoholic sober, but it could serve as the turning point that opens your minds to other outlets that have a much higher success rate of keeping people sober.

I hope this is your turning point.
Zube

NYCDoglvr

Fear has kept me sober for over 21 years. In 1991 I took a huge quantity of Valium -- in a blackout! Rushed to the hospital, my stomach pumped, they kept me for three days. To this day I have no idea WHY I tried to die. That experience -- coupled with the knowledge I could drink again -- has kept me going to meetings for over two decades.

But fear alone won't work because denial and rationalization are a big part of our psyche. Honestly, if you want to stay sober go to AA, get a sponsor and do 90/90 meetings. The disease of alcoholism is progressive and "cunning, baffling and powerful" as the Big Book says. It's actions that count, words mean little.

2granddaughters

I took all my Valium and the wife's Valium in a premeditated suicide attempt in 1989. Didn't quite have enough .....

All I knew in early recovery was fear. Fear that AA wouldn't work.... and fear that it would.

It took me probably 3 yrs to begin to look at the 12 Steps as an opportunity rather than a penalty, then things started to get better.

Can fear keep you sober?? ... maybe. But that would be a heck of a way to live.

I have a healthy fear of alcohol today (along with hot stove tops, J-walking and French kissing cobras) and a great program of recovery to keep me sober, sane and serene. Today I have choices.

All the best.

Bob R

TrixMixer

Hi Sunnybird,

FEAR worked for me. Did not like AA for the same reasons you had. Did work with an addiction specialist. Sober now for 25 years, never relapsed---all out of FEAR

The Fear of dying a drunk and the fear of not being able to stop again if I relapsed.

See how far Fear gets you--if you need help though please get it.

Trix

doggonecarl

Got your answer to whether fear was a recovery tool or not. You are back to day one. Are you willing, not, to consider what helps more than fear?

hamabi

It's good you had the chance to evaluate fear as a solution in your case. Sorry it didn't work out better. I do remember my first DUI was really scary too, much scarier than the other ones later on. We get accustomed to so many things that go with the drinking life.

Hope that sooner or later you discover a solution that you immediately recognize is right for you that you like a lot.