EternalWinter

I am 151 days sober, or with out drinking I should say. I do use small amounts of marijuana once or twice a week.

This is such a huge improvement from when I walked in to the detox with a bottle in the car in case I didnt get in. I simply needed alcohol around me at all times as withdrawals would come on rapidly. I was just going in a downward spiral where my life was a huge blur.

Dispite not having touched a drop sense, I am always receiving critisizm for using marijuana. And that I have to change my soberity date. I will call it days with out drinking and its still just as importent to me. Im just not so sure im a fan of the sober community, they think this date means almost nothing becuase Ive been using marijuana.

I do talk to a few sober people who I met at the rehabilitation, I have even talked someone out of drinking, but people still think I dont take this seriously and im just bound for a relapse any time soon.

I am not going to relapse any time soon, I dont plan to stay alcohol free forever, maybe some day down the road I might have no responsibilities I can do it again, if i have to work on that again I can.

Maybe its true, maybe I dont take this seriously and AA and other soberity groups are not for me? I am confused on where i stand. And I dont plan to give up marijuana the truth is i dont even really like it, its for when no one is around and i can watch a movie

paul99

With all due respect , I can see where others feel that you aren't quite serious about it when you claim that you won't relapse and yet you have plans in reintroducing alcohol into your life, a life you mentioned being in a downward spiral.

This is something only you can figure out. I understand what people are saying about taking a mood altering substance / chemical and not considering it being sober. Many people have tried the Marijuana Plan and have gone back out to the bottle. It's not much of a stretch of the imagination to see the connection.

As I see it, and I am going on what you've written, is that you're leaving a huge door open to pick up again. you seem to have forgotten how bad things were, you haven't mentioned your desire to get into a program of some kind, and in the end, you are defending your use of drugs and the possibility of bringing booze back into your system.

I really hope that you decide for clean and sober.

David 1

One thing is for sure, we can't tell someone to quit drinking or taking drugs, they have to want to do it. I guess my only thought would be to do some soul searching and really ask yourself what you want out of life and plan accordingly.

Dave

Ps congrats on the 151 days

Dee74

Hi again EW

I spent 20 years unsure about this too.
I would test run sobriety - cut back, or dropping one of my drugs of choice, or having a break for a few days.

I never really got anywhere - because I was never really going anywhere. I was like the dog chained up in the yard...I was giving myself a very limited freedom...

I wasn't any happier with limited recovery than I was with no recovery at all.
Getting a few fingers free from the shackles still means I'm shacked.

I wish I could get those 20 years back but I can't.
I hope you'll ultimately be smarter than I was.

D

Jaded1999

Congrats on 151 days. I'm just over 4 months sober myself and I couldn't see my life without alcohol. It's still hard, I've been in a 4 month rehab and 6 detoxes (In 3 years) just trying to party and have some fun. It just got worse every time I picked up and yeah I might have had a little bit of fun but it didn't last long.

Life still seems so boring without alcohol but things are getting better and the anxiety and fear is almost gone!!

As for the dope, if its helping you at the moment, keep doing it if it's working but you say it aint fun anymore so maybe have a look at that?

AA is the only thing that has kept me sober, got a sponsor and a home group and i'm doing ok I guess.

Goodluck.

Caledonia1

Hi EW

I have also been there, sober for 13moths once but always planned to go back to it.

For me after that it just got worse. I think Dee has knocked it on the head with advice there.

Now, finally I've accepted my illness and although this time I'm approaching 9 months of soberiety, it's soberiety and contentment this time, so much better.

As for the dope, well that's your choice but doesnot take away anything in my mind from what you have bravely acheived so far. Well done on your soberiety!

wheresthefun

I'm just an outsider trying to look in, but it kind of sounds like you don't like being around you!

2granddaughters

I think you made it crystal clear where you stand.

When you have had enough AA will be there.

All the best.

Bob R

bbthumper

I think the real question is not about what you are using, but why you feel the need to use anything in the first place? For me, alcohol was never the problem. My problem was being sober. I couldnt live comfortably sober.

doggonecarl

I would think not, since we don't support your world view.

I am pretty sure I had the same mindset as you, twenty five years ago. Except, I was quitting pot. I kept drinking though, because alcohol wasn't my problem.

Right...

And here I am, an alcoholic. Clean and sober....completely clean and sober, makes perfect sense to me now.

TSDD

LOL. You don't like it, but refuse to give it up? This seems somewhat contradictory. Why do something you don't like? If it's not a big deal than it shouldn't be a big deal to go without it right?

Really though if you're life is better without drinking good on you for not drinking!

FYI I like to eat popcorn when I watch a movie.